I made it through surgery. Not that I had any doubt I would, but it’s always nice to be on the other side of something like that. We had to be there so early, the sun wasn’t even fully up by the time they gurney’d me down to the basement where operations are done. My first thought was, “In the basement? Like where you’d expect to find the morgue? That’s convenient.” But K explained to me that they keep operating rooms really cold and it’s easier to keep a basement cool since heat rises. He’s so logical.

I also learned that if you have any sort of say in the matter, have the anesthesiologist do your IV. I felt a little prick in my hand from a local anesthetic and then voila…I had an IV. Never felt it. I’m going to remember that for next time.

Waking up from general anesthesia is always interesting. There’s that moment where you wonder what just happened. You feel like you just woke up from some pleasant nap. Except your throat kinda hurts and there’s probably some sort of nebulous pain somewhere on your body. In this case, it was my ankle. Thankfully, the nurse noted my pained, ashen expression and shot a couple doses of morphine into my IV. Ahhh…

We spent so long up in our room (3921. How do I still remember that?) that I was beginning to wonder if they weren’t going to just go ahead and keep me there. They even had me fill out a wishlist for dinner and breakfast. Yikes! I got lunch though, and that was nice becuase I was pretty hungry. Then I spent the rest of the afternoon doing that dozing thing. You know, where you’re so tired, you can’t barely stand to have your eyes opened. Sorta like how I feel right about now.

They decided to keep me on the Vicodin but prescribed an anti-nausea medication to take with it. So I’m flying pretty high right now. Look at the pretty birdies! :woot :nuts Though I noticed last night on one of my many trips to the bathroom to relieve my bladder, that giving someone who needs to use crutches a pain killer that makes them dizzy is probably not the best idea in the world. Thankfully, I haven’t biffed it yet. Yet.

I go in to see the doc in a week and they’ll put a cast on then, but for now, I get this stylish little number. At least you can see my pretty toes with this one. K was so nice to paint those for me.

Have I left my bed except to go to the bathroom since we’ve been home? Nope. A person can go stir crazy like this. But I know the easier I take it for now, the quicker I’ll heal and I’m all about that. I just had to send K to do the grocery shopping and I am quite scared. That is *my* job and I just know he’s going to mess something up, forget to get something, buy something entirely ridiculous. :sigh

Has it been six weeks yet?

I feel kinda silly about that earlier post. That was way too much stream of consciousness. Not to mention very self-centered and absorbed. Ugh. I make myself sick. :sick :lol

It’s a mood. And I expect it’s a mood I’ll be indulging in for the next weeks, on and off. Now, feeling a bit better. It was just a rough day. Anticipation about tomorrows surgery, I think, has gotten to me. But for now, having a nice dinner (last food I get until tomorrow afternoon!), watching a nice movie and hopefully will talk K into serving me up a nice glass of wine. (And no, I haven’t had any Vicodin all day!)

Wish me well tomorrow morning. I will do my utmost to post something pithy after I have emerged, unscathed. (hopefully!)

Second times the charm. I hate laptops. I got well through a very self-centered post when I accidentally deleted what I was writing. Anyhow… the point is, I’m feeling very sorry for myself right about now. But before I go on, I want to thank everyone who posted good thoughts for me on the previous entry. It feels to good to have someone, even if they are strangers, wishing me well. So please don’t think I don’t appreciate that.

My attitude is sliding downhill at an alarmingly rapid pace. I feel so cut off. I feel like everyone, even my husband and son, are avoiding me, trying to keep from being sucked into my black hole of bad mojo ( or is it bad luck?). Sure, I got condolences when word of my big fall got out. But now, even saintly K is getting annoyed with me and my crankiness. I know he’d rather be at work than at home, having to tend to my every need. Because I can’t do a think for myself. Not yet at least. I hate that I can’t even fix myself a freaking sandwich or get myself a glass of water when I want one.

I find myself spending a lot of time on the laptop, seeing as how I can’t do much of anything else. But no matter how often I check my email, the inbox remains empty. A message board is checked… nothing there. The phone doesn’t ring. There are no friendly visitors at the door. My bedroom is silent. Even if I were to pick out one of the many dvd’s we own that I’ve seen a hundred times already, I can’t retrieve it to put it in the player without help.

There are so many things I’d rather be doing right now than laying in bed, a crick in my neck and my mangled ankle elevated, typing out this pathetic post to a blog that few people even read. But truth of that matter is, I dont’ know what else to do. I hate feeling so sorry for myself. But this is not how I wanted to start off my new year. Last year was so awful. And I had (have) such high hopes for a better year. If this is any indication, I may as well not waste my energy.

I can’t help but compare this to my c-section last March. Yes, that was such an emotional time. And I was in such shock, I couldn’t even begin to deal with what had happened yet. But on a physical level, my recuperation was so much smoother, so much simpler, so much *shorter*. The physical pain wasn’t near as bad. (Let’s just leave out the emotional, because that doesn’t even compare) And it was a few days before I was up and about, walking around. I can’t walk around without a great deal of help from Mr and Mrs Crutch for six weeks. Six weeks is a long-ass time. I can’t do a blasted thing for six weeks. Except take Vicodin. Which, don’t get me wrong, the stuff is wonderful. But it makes me feel ill. I’ve only been taking it at night so I can get some amount of sleep and even then I feel ill all morning. :sigh

I know I could drag this out for page, how rotten I feel, how sad, lonely, pathetic…etc and so forth. But no one deserves to have to read that so I’ll end it here. With any luck, the surgery will go well tomorrow morning and I will soon be on the road to recovery. I’m sure I’ll be back with another self-involved rant after I check my email a couple dozen of times.

How stupid am I? Stupid enough to voluntarily venture onto the sheet of ice that is my driveway with the hopes of breaking it up with a garden shovel?

Yep.

Spent a good five hours at the emergency room last night. Broke a couple bones in my right ankle. Will have surgery in which they will install pins and plates in my ankle Saturday morning.

You gotta admit, I asked for this one.

Read all about it! Introducing CallistaWolf’s template o’ the week:

Once again, this template was made for WordPress 1.5 but can be used with other sites and programs with a small amount of cutomization. If you want, you can hire me on to do that customization for you. But most of all, I hope you enjoy this template, it was a lot of fun to put together.

(sidenote: Wow, can’t believe I haven’t posted since Thursday. How unlike me!)