So in posting some of my older journal entries into this blog, I’m overcome with how *negative* I was back then. When undergoing my first go-round with Clomid, I was absolutely certain each month that I wouldn’t become pregnant. Or at least that’s what I said. At any rate, I think the damage was done. No wonder I didn’t get pregnant until the month I didn’t have time to even think about it. All those negative vibes are no environment for a fertilized egg to implant in!

That’s why I’m glad I’m being so disgustingly positive about this cycle. I *will* get pregnant. This little eggie *will* be fertilized (checking the calender, I see that it would be fertilized already) and it *will* implant nicely. And it will stay there and grow into a healthy, beautiful baby. I demand it must be so.

Vigilant optimism… that’s what this is. Will it work? Damn, well better work. But in the extremely small chance that it doesn’t at leaset I’ll know I’ve given it my all.

In other news… Amazing Race was SO sad last night!! I mean, the show was great up until the Brothers were eliminated. I was *so* hoping for a non-elimination leg. Honestly, there aren’t that many weeks left in this show, they could have at least had it last night. And how awesome would it have been to watch them race the rest of the time in their swimsuits?? Classic! Dangit all. I really starting to love those guys. I’m gonna miss them. Shoulda been Lynn and Alex!

Yeah, the Boyfriends are pissing me off. Alex, for the most part, is fine. It’s Lynn that really bugs me because he’s *so* two-faced and judgemental! He said some really awful things about one of the teams, and it *wasn’t* Rob and Amber! Totally rude. I have no respect for that team at all.

Rob and Amber rocked as usual. The fact of the matter is they work well together, they get the job done. They are good racers. Yes, they’re also lucky. But they know how and when to use that luck to their advantage.

Uchenna and Joyce are AWESOME. I hope they win.

Ron and Kelly bug. Well, mostly Kelly (though if Ron doesn’t shut up about Bagdad I’m gonna have to hurt him). What was *with* her totally misunderstanding Ron’s “Kelly, just chill for a minute” line? Psycho much?

Anyhow. New Lost tonight! Will Boone die? Will Claire’s baby be born with two heads? Tune in and find out.