by Marilyn on August 3, 2005
Turns out I had reason to be nervous, to be worried… because this is me we’re talking about here, right? And why else would I expect anything different than to go in for a 15week appointment and find out my baby had died one day past my last appointment, four weeks ago? That’s right, no heartbeat. No growth. Nothing.Nothing except an appointment tomorrow to go over financial arrangements with the dr’s office and get some sort of SOMETHING inserted into me. And an appointment early Friday to “take care of it.”
So fucking unfair.
by Marilyn on August 3, 2005
I have an appointment today, only my second one. :fc for a good report!
How far along am I?
15 weeks and 1 day. 13 weeks and 1 day gestational. 174 days until my due date. 35% of the pregnancy is done and there?s 65% yet to go.
Signs and Symptoms
- Back Pain - It starts. It’s always something and I think this time around its going to be my back. Of course our lump of a mattress isn’t helping matters either.
- Hunger - No matter how many times I’ve been pregnant, I can still never get used to how fast I go from just fine to dying of starvation. Its bizaare.
- Fatigue - Oh so tired. Of course, oh so busy too. And the two don’t mix so well. So not so much with the naptime but when my back isn’t spasming painfully, I sleep like a friggin rock at night.
- Pooch - Yep, still have one. Sometimes I notice it more than others. And I’ve noticed when standing up, its “harder”. I’m sure that’s all pretty standard. Onward and upward!
How much have I gained?
According to the scale, (which we all know sucks) it looks like I’m down another 2-3 lbs. We’ll have to see what the real scale at the doctor’s office says.
Observations
- I’m nervous as a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs about my appointment today. I know there’s no good reason to expect anything to go wrong at this point, but I don’t think I’m ever going to get rid of this particular neuroses.
- I want nice things for this baby. Boy or girl, doesn’t matter. I want to have things that match each other (such as stroller and carseat), I want to have a coordinated nursery. Heck, I even want a designer diaper bag. Mostly because I don’t know when or if I’ll ever get pregnant again and I want to enjoy this baby as much as I can, and have as much fun spoiling him/her rotten as possible.
- We’re going out of town to visit family this weekend. I’m going to have to sleep on a hide-a-bed. ‘Nuff said.
- Have I mentioned I’m nervous about the appointment?
- Probably good that we most likely won’t have an ultrasound this week. I’d be far too tempted to check for gender and we have had poor luck in the past trying to find out too early.
That’s all my adled brain can come up with right now. I’ll post after the appointment with an update on how things are. Keep your fingers crossed for me!
