So, its done. Today we got up at the crack of dawn and I typed my earlier post while waiting for K to finish getting ready. Me, I was as ready as I was going to be. We got to the hospital just as the sun was rising and I remember feeling resentful of that sunrise. I didn’t want it to be beautiful, which it was. I wanted it to be overcast (which it is now, as luck would have it). We went through admitting, in a sort of fog. We were shuffled up to the “Same Day Surgery” floor and given a “quiet room” to wait in.
There was a tv/vcr sort of deal with “O Brother, Where Art Thou” in it so we watched that. H ignored both of us and worked feverishly on his magna doodle. Nurses came and went, giving me gowns to put on, taking blood, putting in IV’s. I talked to the anesthesiologist and assured him this wasn’t my first rodeo as far as general anesthesia was concerned. I think that made him feel his job was easier, so that’s good. I think four different people asked me what I was having done today, just to make sure I knew and they knew and no one was being forced into this deal. Except that I was but that’s neither here nor there. It had to be done. I just didn’t have to like it. Our doc came in last, to go over some last minute things with us and then I was off.
Before I leave for the hospital, I just want to share some of the things that are going through my head.
- It’ll be nice to get rid of this stuffing. Every time I sit up or sit down, it feels like I’m sitting on a rock
- I’ve now suffered the dreaded triad of reproduction: Infertility, Stillbirth and now Miscarriage. One is bad enough, two is nearly unbearable…but three? Come on! Give me a friggin’ break already!
- Why do all of my pregnancies have to end in general anesthesia?
- I wish all the medical websites I’ve been to in the last day or two wouldn’t call it an “abortion”. It makes it sound like I had a choice in the matter. I know its the “medical” term but they need to find a new one. Maybe “fetal evacuation”. Makes it sound more like there was a fire or something and I didn’t control it. Which is what it feels like.
- God, I hope everything goes okay.
- I have some of the best internet friends a girl could possibly want in a time like this. How lucky am I, in that regard?
See ya on the flip side…
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