So, its done. Today we got up at the crack of dawn and I typed my earlier post while waiting for K to finish getting ready. Me, I was as ready as I was going to be. We got to the hospital just as the sun was rising and I remember feeling resentful of that sunrise. I didn’t want it to be beautiful, which it was. I wanted it to be overcast (which it is now, as luck would have it). We went through admitting, in a sort of fog. We were shuffled up to the “Same Day Surgery” floor and given a “quiet room” to wait in.
There was a tv/vcr sort of deal with “O Brother, Where Art Thou” in it so we watched that. H ignored both of us and worked feverishly on his magna doodle. Nurses came and went, giving me gowns to put on, taking blood, putting in IV’s. I talked to the anesthesiologist and assured him this wasn’t my first rodeo as far as general anesthesia was concerned. I think that made him feel his job was easier, so that’s good. I think four different people asked me what I was having done today, just to make sure I knew and they knew and no one was being forced into this deal. Except that I was but that’s neither here nor there. It had to be done. I just didn’t have to like it. Our doc came in last, to go over some last minute things with us and then I was off.
Before I leave for the hospital, I just want to share some of the things that are going through my head.
- It’ll be nice to get rid of this stuffing. Every time I sit up or sit down, it feels like I’m sitting on a rock
- I’ve now suffered the dreaded triad of reproduction: Infertility, Stillbirth and now Miscarriage. One is bad enough, two is nearly unbearable…but three? Come on! Give me a friggin’ break already!
- Why do all of my pregnancies have to end in general anesthesia?
- I wish all the medical websites I’ve been to in the last day or two wouldn’t call it an “abortion”. It makes it sound like I had a choice in the matter. I know its the “medical” term but they need to find a new one. Maybe “fetal evacuation”. Makes it sound more like there was a fire or something and I didn’t control it. Which is what it feels like.
- God, I hope everything goes okay.
- I have some of the best internet friends a girl could possibly want in a time like this. How lucky am I, in that regard?
See ya on the flip side…
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This is me. I'm a thirtysomething stay at home mom to three kids. For years I was a stay at home mom to one kid and trying very hard to have more. It took a LONG time (ie: 6 1/2 years), but finally Liam arrived and charmed us with his blue eyes and ginormous, round head. Then we got a shock: I was pregnant again and this time it was a GIRL. Our hearts and home are full at last and now that we're done having babies, we get to relax (snort) and watch them grow (not too fast now, you hear?). Thanks for coming by, feel free to dip into my archives, read my About and History pages (just don't do Jackson's Story without tissues!) and make yourself at home.
