It’s true. It’s happened. The world has completely turns on its ever-freaking ear and Tom Cruise has impregnated a woman. And not just any woman. Katie “Deer in the Headlights” Holmes.

Actual conversation where I heard the news:

[05/10/2005 02:43 PM] K: ewwwwww
[05/10/2005 02:43 PM] Me: what?
[05/10/2005 02:44 PM] K: Katie Holmes is pregnant with Tom’s demon spawn
[05/10/2005 02:44 PM] Me: :O
[05/10/2005 02:44 PM] Me: X-O
[05/10/2005 02:45 PM] Me: Okay, you know at the beginning of Season 4 Red Vs Blue? Where the orange guy is all screaming NO!! (i keep forgetting his name) Well, that’s me.
[05/10/2005 02:47 PM] K: grif?
[05/10/2005 02:47 PM] Me: yeah, i think so
[05/10/2005 02:48 PM] Me: yeah grif
[05/10/2005 02:48 PM] Me: where they’re back at bloodgulch or whatever and he’s all screaming no and they start shooting at him?
[05/10/2005 02:48 PM] K: hehe
[05/10/2005 02:48 PM] K: old letch
[05/10/2005 02:48 PM] K: he should be ashamed of himself
[05/10/2005 02:49 PM] K: i always knew she was the slut……..bomb
[05/10/2005 02:51 PM] Me: LOL