So I got the “Go Ahead” from my RE a little earlier than I expected. See, when I went in on September 9th, I made an appointment for October 26th to meet with the RE and go over all that bloodwork they did back in the beginning of September. And I was like, “SHEESH! I have to wait nearly two months before getting back on the TTC Train again??” And anyone who knows me, knows that I dont’ handle waiting very well. Very frustrating. Especially since I figured they’d have me on Clomid again anyhow so why not be able to take it in the meantime?? :sigh
Well yesterday, the RE’s office calls. The nurse tells me that the test results all came back normal (which I totally expected they would. Too bad they can’t test for “Bad Luck”). And that we can start up with the Clomid anytime. Which, YAY! But not yay. Because I don’t expect AF for another 2 or 3 weeks anyhow. Which would actually put starting Clomid at about exactly the time I would have met with the RE *anyway*. :dry
I guess I should be glad we’ve been given the “go ahead” to start Clomid again, and try this mad merry go round one more time. But that’s the thing. One more time. This is it, people. If we can’t get ourselves a healthy baby this time, we’re not going to try any more. We’ll pursue our next option (i.e. adoption). It sorta makes me sad. And nervous. And the last thing a woman undergoing infertility treatments needs to be is nervous. I know I can get pregnant again. That isn’t even a question to me anymore. Clomid has done it for us two times, no reason to think it won’t happen a third. But it’s the pregnancy I’m nervous about. And yes, I know its stupid to worry about things before they happen, but that’s my nature.
So yeah. This is the brink that I’m standing on. It’s hard to put your faith and trust out there, but I don’t really see any other way.
