The Worstest Christmas Songs EVAH

Here it is at long, long, LONG last. I realized today that perhaps the reason that our local “All Christmas, All the Time” station is playing an abundance of horrid songs is because I have not purged them from my system via this blog post. It’s a long shot, but I’m willing to risk it.

Let us begin:

Anything by Manneheim Steamroller - I cannot stress this enough. Let’s put it this way: Christmas and synthesizers do NOT mix. Heck, anything and synthesizers don’t mix. But this sounds like the Disneyland Electric Parade or something. Anytime I hear “Deck the Halls” by them on 106.9, my ears start to bleed.
“Wonderful Christmastime” by Paul McCartney - If I *never* have to hear this song again, it’ll be too soon. I hate this song. HATE. And dare I say I detect synthesizers? See?? I can’t imagine anyone beside my six year old son would actually enjoy this song. (What’s real fun is me trying to explain to him everytime I turn off the radio when it comes on. “But I *like* that song!” “Too bad, I hate it.” Call me Grinch.)
Any Christmas song by Gloria Estefan - Truthfully, I don’t really enjoy any of her songs. Once she seperated from Miami Sound Machine, her music just went downhill. And these “Christmas songs” of hers sound like something I’d have to hear in an elevator somewhere. Bleh!
“The Little Drummer Boy” by anyone, but especially David Bowie and Bing Crosby - This is one of those rare songs that has annoyed me since the early years of my youth. And I hate the David Bowie/Bing Crosby incarnation. David Bowie should stick to rock and Bing Crosby should have been ashamed of himself. Anyhow, the song sucks.
“Christmas Shoes” by NewSong - HATE. This is a song people are strongly divided on. And I can understand why the people who like it, like it. But that’s basically because those people are SAPS. This is a song solely crafted to tug at heartstrings and I detest that. Everytime I hear it, I feel manipulated. K hates it even more than I do. So whenever it comes on, we make fun of it. Petty of us, I know, but who can resist?
FWIW, I’m not cold, I’m not heartless. I just don’t enjoy this song. I don’t think it’s “sad” because I think it’s forced. If perhaps the writer had put a little more effort into the song, to make it feel more genuine instead of wanting to whip something out to sell inspirational books with, then I’d like it more. Believe me, I’ve had hard Christmases in the past, I’ve lost loved ones. And I think a song like “Christmas Shoes” cheapens the experience that some poor people have at the holidays.
“Do you hear what I hear?” by virtually anyone - Another one I haven’t liked since infancy. Vince Gill does a decent version but for the most part, this song just grates on my nerves.

Dear God, I feel the list could go on, and on…but I will close it here. There is much I could include, but these are the songs I hate the most. The rest are songs I don’t like to be sung by certain people, like “Santa Claus is Coming to Town” by The Jackson 5 or “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas” by Billy Joel and Rosie O’Donnell. But if I included every song like that in this list, I’d be at this all day and dear friends, I am a busy lass. So enjoy my list of wretched tripe and feel free to pipe up with your own opinions in the comments.