That’s what this child gets for being born into a paranoid family.? I’ve gotten into the habit of late of not wanting to get out bed in the morning until I feel some sort of response from the baby.? Most times, this isn’t hard at all to come by as this little one loves to wiggle around, especially when my bladder is full.? But this morning was one of those mornings when Junior decided he or she wanted to sleep in.? So I rolled over onto my back and then proceeded to poke and prod (none too lightly, either) various portions of my growing girth.
It only took a minute before I felt some small responding taps.? But maybe those taps were TOO small and I, not entirely awake yet, imagined them.? So I poked even harder in the spot that I thought I’d felt the taps.? I was rewarded with a resounding, belly-shaking KICK.? As if this child was saying, “I heard you the first five DOZEN times.? Now LEAVE ME ALONE!”
And as it always happens, the poor thing couldn’t get back to sleep and proceeded to bounce on my bladder until I got out of bed and got it some breakfast already.
So my question, does this qualify as child abuse?? Maybe what’s worse is I don’t really have any guilt about it at all. ;)
