When I was pregnant with Harry, I didn’t actually give a lot of thought towards how he was going to be born.? We attended the childbirth preparedness classes at the hospital like good parents-to-be.? But mostly, I was all about getting the awesome freebies they gave out such as the diaper samples and little bottles of lotion and Lansinoh. Plus, I knew it would be best to learn about what would happen next… what to really expect when labor started.? There was the one class that covered the c-section.? And it was more watching a movie about c-sections than the teacher actually discussing them with us.? I remember excusing myself to go to the restroom during most of that.? And when we toured the labor and delivery floor, I only barely noticed when they pointed out the surgical units.? Wasn’t going to matter to me, right?? I mean, I’m not a little gal, my hips aren’t narrow.? Why would *I* need a c-section?? Not bloody likely.

Of course, because God has a sense of humor, I ended up with a c-section.? It wasn’t under the best of circumstances, was after hours of extremely exhausting and painful labor and pushing and involving general anesthesia.? It was a rush job, and I had zero preparation for it.? The whole day afterward I felt groggy, out of it.? I’m lucky to remember the barest of snatches from that day.

Since, I’ve never balked at the suggestion of a repeat c-section.? Have I had moments where I’ve thought I could try a VBAC and how great that’d be if I were successful?? Sure.? But I don’t really want to risk it.? Not because of the minimal risk of uterine rupture, but because of the risk to the birth experience.? I want to be able to feel in control of what’s going on and a scheduled c-section offers me that luxury.? I know that I can be awake and alert when my baby is born and coherent the rest of the day to care for this new life and enjoy the visitors I receive.? Makes sense to me.

I know there are a lot of people who think a c-section is a traumatic experience and that it should be avoided at all costs.? Well, maybe not all costs.? A lot of these women believe that to not experience a natural delivery is to be robbed of the birth experience altogether.? And the more this notion is discussed among women, the more women who believe it.? Then one of them needs to have a c-section and is often deeply upset by her birth experience as a result.

That makes me SO sad.

I recently read this passage by Vicki Iovine that perfectly sums up how I feel about the whole thing:

Please don’t start restricting yourself now with expectations and rules about what denotes a “successful” delivery and what denotes a “failure.”? A delivery that results in a healthy mother and baby is a gift from God, no matter how that delivery was achieved.? Period.? Childbirth is not like a visit to a spa: It is not designed for your personal enjoyment and fulfillment.? It is not an opportunity to demonstrate your abilities or fitness.? It is designed to perpetuate the specides, and nothing more.? I thik this feeling of being “gyped” by a birth experience that doesn’t match our expectations is one more example of that yuppie self-centeredness that is one of our least attractive characteristics.

Amen.

Now, I’m not saying that you shouldn’t have a plan for how you’d like your labor to go.? A great coping skill amidst what basically amounts to physical chaos is to plan and prepare yourself.? If you want to experience labor and pushing, then by all means, plan on that.? But prepare yourself for a c-section as well, what to expect and what it all entails.? Knowledge is power, my friends.? And do not be disappointed.? Because the fact of the matter is having a healthy baby to take home with you is the ultimate goal and however you reach that goal is inconsequential.