Eight years ago, I woke up in San Jose, California, in my parents house, in my old bedroom. It was still dark outside; I was the only one awake. I was way too excited to be tired. I had things to do, after all. I took a bath in the tub, using some fantastic smelling bubble bath a good friend of mine had given me. I shaved my legs and forced myself to take my time, to soak and relax. It would be the last relaxing moment I’d have to myself for hours. After the soak, I put on some jean shorts, and a button down short sleeved blouse. Downstairs, I realized I should probably have some juice and a bagel. I wasn’t the least bit hungry, but I didn’t want to be passing out from hunger later on. By then, my father was awake and my mother and sister were stirring. Good thing; we needed to leave the house soon. My dad drove my sister, mother and I to the hair salon in the rental Lincoln Town Car. That felt pretty luxurious. The sky was overcast with fog, a common occurance in the Bay Area during the summer months. The hair salon had just opened, special for us. I already knew what I wanted done with my hair, we’d been in a few weeks prior and had a “dry run” on my hairdo. We had the veil with us, of course, so it could be incorporated.

My tummy started to ache. Nerves. That often happens when I’m over-excited and today was as exciting as anything I’d ever been through. Getting my hair done was a blur. It was a short time later that my sister and I were bundling into the Town Car yet again for the ride to the church. Was the dress in the car? Yes, in the trunk. Had anyone heard from Kile? No, not yet. At the church, we found my friends and I started to get ready with their help. I didn’t realize how much of their help I was going to need to get into that dress, get the stockings attached to the garter belt, applying makeup without spilling any on my dress. We were running behind when the photographer came to see if we were ready. Kile was there and ready for our pictures. My mom hadn’t arrived yet, and she had my pearl necklace that I was going to wear. I was worried about not having the necklace on in my pictures. Luckily, she showed in the nick of time and I had my necklace.? The pictures were done outside of the church, surrounded by greenery and our family and friends.? As soon as I saw Kile, my nerves settled.? Once again, he was my rock.

After the pictures, I was hustled back inside the church.? Guests were starting to arrive and last minute preparations were in full swing.? Right at 11 o’clock am, my father knocked on the door of the room we were waiting in.? It was time.? As we walked around the building to the doors we were going to enter through, the sun peeked out from behind the fog.? Perfect timing.? The rest?? Was a fog in and of itself.? I vaguely recall walking down the aisle.? It was a catholic mass, so I have some recollection of sitting, standing, listening… the ceremony seemed to go on forever.? But I do remember how good it felt when the priest announced, “I now pronounce you man and wife.”? And seeing all the happy faces of our friends and family as they applauded us walking back down the aisle.? Stepping out into the sunshine, I felt as happy as I ever had up until that moment.

That was eight years ago, today.? I can’t believe it’s been eight years already, and at the same time, I can’t believe it’s only been eight years.? I feel like I’ve known you my whole life, Kile.? I’ve at least known you for the part of my life that counts.? And because of you, we have two achingly adorable little boys.? We’ve been through heaven and we’ve been through hell.? But I wouldn’t go through that with anyone else.? Let’s have many, many more years together, to grow and to love.? I love you, sweety.