While we were still in the hospital, Liam’s pediatrician came by to check on him. He gave us some basic care instructions for us to take home and one of the things he mentioned was making sure their nose is clear since babies are “nose-breathers”. That struck Kile as amusing, almost like it was a character flaw. Like an assumption upon his person or something. So he started referring to Liam as “Nose-breather”.
Now, we still haven’t gotten the hang of breastfeeding. And if we’re going to be completely honest here, we haven’t really practiced it much lately. Maybe once or twice in the last week. And, following the whole “honesty” thing, I feel guilty about that. Even though I know there are legitimate reasons for breastfeeding not working right now, I still feel guilty. That’s a mother’s perogative, I assume.
I’m 95% certain that Liam has a “tongue tie“. Ever heard of this? The basic is, there’s a little membrane of tissue underneath the tongue and in tongue-tied babies, that membrane is tighter and attached further forward than is normal. This causes problems with breastfeeding and in some cases, with speech later on. For a while, I wasn’t sure if he had this, but I’m feeling rather sure about it lately. For one thing, check out that picture. The link above to information on tongue tie has a picture as well and I see a big similarity. While the link’s picture is a little more dramatic, I’ve seen several pictures on the web that would lead me to believe that YES, Liam has a tongue tie.
I should go see the LC about this, but I’m wondering if this isn’t an issue that the pediatrician will be able to address. We have an appointment with him in a couple of weeks, so I’ve been planning to ask him then. I’m not sure what I want to do about it. If the doctor thinks it’s an issue that could lead to complications in Liam’s life and functions later on, then I’d be interested in a “frenotomy” or a clipping of the frenulum. But I don’t want to subject Liam to that if the only benefit would be a better ability to breastfeed. On the flip side, I don’t want to NOT do it, only to have to do it later on. That would only be more traumatic for the little guy.
In the meantime, we’re trying to keep a sense of humor about the whole thing. We refer to Liam as a “tongue-tied, nose-breather” all the time. He doesn’t seem to mind. I’m still pumping, six or more times a day. I have a pretty fantastic supply, so at least I don’t need to worry about that. Liam is feeding very well from the bottle and gaining weight faster than I would have ever believed. Things are going pretty well, tight frenulums aside.
{ 8 comments }
Tammy 08.29.06 at 9:22 am
Liam looks like my oldest daughter did. She was born tongue-tied. Had hers clipped before she reached a year old. It was no big deal at all. Took literally seconds right there in the doc’s office. Healed right up with no problems. My daughter’s tongue-tie caused feeding issues and speech problems. Would do it all again without batting an eyelash.
Rebecca 08.29.06 at 12:19 pm
I’d encourage you to have it done - I have several friends who’ve done it, and it healed right away.
Best of luck with the breastfeeding! My son nursed for 2 years, 17 months, and 13 days (yes, I’m one of THOSE moms, lol) until he decided to wean. I have so many great memories of that special bond.
A great resource is http://kellymom.com.
Zoot 08.29.06 at 1:36 pm
Did you know my son has that? His tongue is “connected” all the way. The pediatrician recommended clipping it because it might cause speech issues later. BUT - it didn’t. We didn’t have insurance that would pay for it, so we held off and he speaks without any problems.
Oh - and I dried up with him, too. And felt terribly guilty. And I look back on it now? And feel even more guilty b/c it’s working better with Nikki. We’re sickos.
Cagey (100 comments.) 08.31.06 at 9:06 am
I have a friend whose son was tongue-tied and it was hard to tell if it delayed his speech (she didn’t breastfeed, so I have nothing to report there). They did have it taken care of when he was near to a year old. I didn’t get the impression that it was a big deal to have it taken care of, BUT I think anytime something sharp comes near your precious baby, it’s a big deal (For example, we just got a haircut AGAIN yesterday. Can I admit, it still bothers me when the scissors come SO close?).
The guilt? As you already know and I am just learning myself, there is always, ALWAYS something to feel bad about. Today? I feel bad that I wheeled the highchair closer to the living room so that Arun could get a better gander at Elmo so that I could freely peruse knitting books because there is a yarn sale TOMORROW and I have PRIORITIES, you know?
Hang in there! I have a saying that goes like this “remember to be kind to yourself”. I think too often, it’s easy to forget to do that.
callistawolf (33 comments.) 08.31.06 at 4:18 pm
Tammy - Thanks for sharing your experience. That’s what I hoped to hear, when I wrote this entry, was how others have dealt with this condition. I’m starting to think that “to clip” is the way to go.
Rebecca - I nursed Harry for a little over a year before he decided he’d had enough. I’ll always look back on those months as precious. I loved breastfeeding, and I miss being able to do it now.
Zoot - Interesting! A different point of view! Good to hear it didn’t cause any problems for him. I’m just not sure if I want to “risk” it, if the clipping isn’t a big deal. Ya know? And YES, the guilt is awful. I hate guilt. Bah. Down with guilt.
Cagey - ACK, haircuts! Luckily with Harry we didn’t need to worry about cutting hairs until well after a year (and it looks as if Liam will be the same). Yes, I would probably be spazing out too. You poor, brave thing you!
Nancy (68 comments.) 09.03.06 at 5:30 am
I was only able to breastfeed my older daughter for one month and my younger one for two weeks. Sometimes I do feel guilty, but then I try to remember that any breastmilk at all is better than none.
Good luck with the tongue-tie diagnosis — sounds like it can be easily resolved, but it’s still a source of stress.
Sarah 09.08.06 at 11:38 pm
Hey there…
I found your site by googling “tongue tie”! I was looking for pictures to show my nanny friend as I suspect her charge may be tongue tied.
I was 18 when I first became a nanny 8 years ago. My youngest of 3 charges was 3.5 at the time and not talking. No one knew why, but with mom recently deceased and the dad battling alcoholism… I was on my own to “figure it out”. A very long story short…. those kids only had me, 24/7 and it took a lot of research and relying on my own contacts in the community I grew up in 30 mins away to rally support for the child. Something besides the underside of his tongue just wasn’t right, and after much research I knew that it was likely autism. When I was able to gain the support of the family doctor who educated the dad and grandma (they had been in denial), little Brandon was able to receive the eye/nose/throat doc evaluation and subsequent surgery.
I have never had children. So imagine the terror and heart ache you feel loving someone elses child and being scared out of your witts that you are the reason someone elses child is under going the snip snip! Taking him to the operating room and watching his eyes roll back in his head were scary, but less than 10 mins later, wrapped in warm blankets in a rocking chair he was back in my arms, and his first words were “I love you Sarahbear” clear as day. For a child with autism, that’s pretty darn cool. I can’t tell you how I cried. Brandon was home before his sisters got out of school at 2pm. He slept the afternoon and into the evening, getting up to enjoy a midnight popcicle before he crawled into bed with me for the night. Imagine his surprize when he could lick it!
The next day, he was right as rain, despite speaking so much clearer. I will never in my life regret pushing for that childs tongue tie surgery.
I will always wish that all parents had such a simple choice of whether or not to snip. I think of all those other illnesses or deformities that children are sometimes born with and think that a tongue tie is not so bad
Your child is just lovely! Thank you for sharing your worries and thought processes online, where even strangers like me will find it. I’m sure that there will be other parents out there too who will read and find strength and support in your postings.
Sarah
callistawolf (33 comments.) 09.10.06 at 8:16 pm
Nancy - It’s hard to escape the guilt of feeding your baby. No matter what you end up doing, there’s always SOMETHING to feel guilty about. And that just bites. You’re right, a little breastmilk is better than none. And no one would ever doubt your love for your girls.
Sarah - Thanks for stopping by and posting that.
I’m pretty sure now that getting the tie clipped is the best thing. Now it’s just a matter of what the doc says!
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