Not having, you know, a uterus or anything gets in the way of men having babies. Obviously. But think there are deeper, more profound reasons why men don’t have babies. Personally, I just don’t think they can handle the pressure.
Which isn’t to say that dads can’t take fantastic care of their babies when called on to do so. Few men I know are as good with children (even including delicate newborns) as Kile is. He’s got a real heart for them, and the kids just love him right back. In fact, when it comes to taking care of OTHER people’s children, he’s the one you want. Not me. But that’s something we’ve already covered here before and I’m sure we’ll cover again before it’s all said and done. ANYHOW. Getting off topic.
I’m just saying that when the shit hits the fan, the daily grind becomes just that (a GRIND, hoo boy, what a grind), that perhaps men just aren’t equipped to handle it.
I’ve lost my fair share of patience with Liam, even though I love him to itty, bitty, teeny, weeny pieces. But I’ve also noticed that sometimes (SOMETIMES), Kile’s patience is thinner than mine. He’s fantastic for jumping in when I’m at my wits end and I NEED A BREAK, so help me GOD. But I need to remember to give him a break too, usually in a couple hours. Especially if it’s late at night.
Also, he can’t take the hours. Bless him, he tries. And he NEVER complains (though I do, and OFTEN). But I think he just plain needs more sleep than I do. Or he can’t function on less. One of the two. Take last night for instance. It was “my night”. Since Liam has been getting up (roughly) once per night, we switch off who takes care of him each night. We went to bed around 11:30 and Liam was up at 2:30 or so. I got up, fed him, rocked him, fed him some more, was thrown up on, changed him and his diaper, rocked him and went back upstairs. I laid him down but he wasn’t having it, so I picked him up, rocked, fed a little, rocked and patted and voila. He was down. Sorta. The next thirty minutes consisted of me laying next to him (lovin’ the co-sleeper), patting his back to put him back to sleep each time he’d stir until he fell into a deep enough sleep pattern. Then, finally, I got back to sleep myself. That was about 4:00. Around 5 or so, he woke up again, but Kile got up and rocked him until he fell back asleep that time. About a half hour at the most, more like 15 minutes. We both woke up at 6:30 this morning (though, admittedly, I dozed in bed for another 15 minutes. My bad).
So we get home from our adventures Out of the House this afternoon and it wasn’t five minutes in the recliner before Kile started nodding off. He has a particular illness when it comes to that chair anyhow. I’m tired, heck ya. I would love a quick snooze in the chair. But, when we got home, I had to clean bottles, change Liam, change my own shirt, pump, feed Liam and pat/rock him to sleep. Of course, once Liam was asleep, Kile got up and went upstairs presumably to “change clothes.” What he’s really doing? Playing Runescape and/or Halo. How do I know? I just KNOW.
So, whatever. As much as I’d love to have more “time off” on the evenings and weekends, I just know it won’t happen. It can’t happen. I don’t even know if it SHOULD happen. I enjoy my “job”, taking care of Liam. And if our (childcare… not household because he totally carries that column) responsibilities are a little unbalanced, it’s only because that’s really how it’s supposed to be. I’m the mom and in the beginning, I’m in the hot seat. I’m cool with that. But a nap WOULD be nice. 
edited to add: FWIW, Kile has been fabulous the last couple of days.? He took yesterday off work and really helped out and tonight, I haven’t had to take care of Liam once since he got home.? So bonus points to Kile.? And he hasn’t even read this!? Yet. *gulp*
anyhow….
In other news: I put a new video up on the “Videos” page called, “Funny Dream”. It’s one I took of Liam just yesterday. He’s been giggling in his sleep lately and this was my attempt to capture it. I didn’t get a true giggle, but I got a couple little chuckles. It’s cute, at any rate. Go check it out.
{ 5 comments }
Fuzzy 09.10.06 at 8:24 pm
It probably is evil, but I agree.. Maybe it’s true that all the getting up in the middle of the night to pee is just preparing us.. but I handle all the waking much better than he ever would. I do think I kinda got used to in during pregnancy. Now unless there’s illness or some other massive factor, I get “enough” (never enough, but “enough”) rest even if she is waking often. But that’s really only because, if she wakes up after about 1 am, I sleep with her. Just me being there puts her back to sleep pretty fast most times. And (except for those end of the rope moments which were, thank heavens, rare..) I was more patient. He was really good at offering alternate ideas for problems/solutions (whether or not I wanted them
)
Zoot 09.12.06 at 9:58 am
I feel the same way about how MrZ handles things. He does fantasticly in small doses. But his thing is he can’t handle when Nikki is just fussy for no real reason. He gets really frustrated in about30 seconds. hehe.
brit (97 comments.) 09.12.06 at 8:36 pm
If you never tell him, I will agree with you. My husband…great husband, great dad…..GRUMPY. Needs sleep, complains that he doesn’t get anything done when he is home alone with the boys…um. duh.
Also your legs…damn they look good. do you have a leg double you could send over here?
not in a creepy way either
callistawolf (33 comments.) 09.12.06 at 10:09 pm
Fuzzy - I don’t know if I handle waking better… but if I do wake up, then the next day I can surely function sans nap a little better. He functions, but he sure seems a lot sleepier than I do!
Zoot - Kile does last longer than 30 seconds, but every man has his breaking point, you know? Dads are good for the fun stuff. Because there? I’m SURELY lacking.
Brit - You crack me up. YES YES YES on the grumpy. And as for the legs, you mean besides the way they can blind the naked eye with their whiteness?
cagey (100 comments.) 09.14.06 at 2:53 am
All I can say is THANKGOD, I am the one required to get up in the middle of the night or else our kid and cats would have starved by now. For sure, my hubs canNOT take the hours. I totally give him props on the Crying, though. He never, ever hesitates to help out with the soothing and has walked many a mile in our very own house to that end (I think he views it as a challenge “Can I Get the Baby to Sleep?”). It helps make up for his miserable failure in the Diaper Arena.
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