I haven’t really addressed this issue since Liam was born, but I didn’t want anyone reading to think that this is not on my mind.? Particularly those reading who have had similar experiences.? What I’m talking about is Jackson.? Stillbirth.? Loss.
I’ve found myself looking at the pictures we took of him and finding ways in which he and Liam look alike.? They had the same mouth and chin.? But Jackson’s head was more like Harrisons.? I can’t comment on eyes, since I never got to see them.
I read something yesterday that made me think.? Columnist Jeff Zaslow wrote a column a few years ago for the Wall Street Journal, apparently, on parents who have survived the loss of a child.? And he discussed how there is no word for those people.? If you lose your parents, you are an “orphan”.? If you lose a spouse, you are a “widow” or “widower”.? How about if you lose a child?? What are you called then?
I like to submit an answer.? If you lose a child, you are called a “parent”.? Because regardless of whether or not you have existing or subsequent children, you are a parent for always and forever.? You aren’t a parent in the way society most commonly views being a parent, or even in the way you always expected and imagined it would be.? But you do have a child.? The word “parent” doesn’t seperate you from the more fortunate ones who have living children, but it does let you know that you are a member of that club.? I hope that someday all of us as parents can embrace those of our ranks who have lost their children better than we do now.? Give them the honor and respect they deserve.
It’s been 2 1/2 years since we lost Jackson on that harsh March morning. While I’m about a million times better than what I was 2 years ago, I’m a million years away from being over it.? I’ll never be over it, not for the rest of my life.? There’s a lifetime of mourning left for me to do.? Hemingway once bragged that he could that he could write a novel using only six words.? Of course, no one believed him and in order to prove it, he gave them the six words: “For sale: Baby shoes, never worn.”? Truer words, people, truer words.
Posted by Zoot 
This is me. I'm a thirtysomething stay at home mom to three kids. For years I was a stay at home mom to one kid and trying very hard to have more. It took a LONG time (ie: 6 1/2 years), but finally Liam arrived and charmed us with his blue eyes and ginormous, round head. Then we got a shock: I was pregnant again and this time it was a GIRL. Our hearts and home are full at last and now that we're done having babies, we get to relax (snort) and watch them grow (not too fast now, you hear?). Thanks for coming by, feel free to dip into my archives, read my About and History pages (just don't do Jackson's Story without tissues!) and make yourself at home.
