On Being a Different Mom — slackermama . com

For so many years, I held my son and my relationship with my son as my parenting standard. I’m sure most parents who only have one child for a number of years do the same. I thought we had a great relationship (we do) and I thought I was a pretty good mom (I was). But this time, it’s so different. I can’t say that I love Liam more because that’s a bald-faced lie. But it’s different. I’m a lot more patient, for one. I thought I was pretty patient the first time around. For a young (I was 23 when Harry was born), inexperienced mother, I was pretty patient. I’m pretty mellow by nature anyhow so I wasn’t the sort to get all wound up over the small stuff. That said, this time I find myself enjoying the little day-to-day moments so much more. I’m not all caught up in wanting to move on, move forward, get through. I’m happy to blow raspberries on his belly during diaper changes and enjoy a little extra snuggle after the afternoon nap. I revel in the many ways he’s learning new things every day. Watching him chomp excitedly on his new toys or gum the satin-y edge of his blanket brings a smile to my face, instead of worrying about when those teeth are going to come through already. We’ve been rather lackadaisical about feeding him solids, mostly because I don’t want to rush things. If he’s not that into it right now, why push it? He squeals with delight and I laugh instead of rubbing my temples and wondering when his nap is.

Each moment is so incredibly precious. I don’t know if I’m more aware of this because I’m older, wiser, more mature (I hope), or if it’s because of everything we went through to have him. Or both. Probably both. Definitely both. If I’d had Liam two years after Harry like I’d wanted, I don’t think I’d be the same mom to him that I am now. It’s not to say that I’m glad we went through hell and back (and through again… and back again…), because HELL NO, I’m not. But there is a difference. And it’s worth noticing.

Right now, Liam is playing in his ‘Sauce, thrilled with all of the wonderfully nubby toys to chew on. He loves that exersaucer. But, unlike with his brother (and I’m a little embarrassed to admit this), I’m not as likely to let him sit in it for too long at a time. I get him out as soon as he seems tired of it/I think he’s ready to eat/he needs to be changed/its naptime, whathaveyou. But I do love watching him play in it. Especially when he finds the little mirror and gets THRILLED by it, like “Who is that incredibly handsome guy?” Who wouldn’t be totally charmed by that? I take it little by little, moment by moment. I don’t want to rush this.