I just read this over at Amalah’s blog. I feel like I should be surprised, but I’m not. If anything, I’m a little surprised she’s not shutting down her blog altogether (though that could still happen I imagine, once she tastes the blessed freedom of not blogging). This blogging stuff is a demanding business. Now that I have some contractually obligated blogging of my own, I can understand wanting to just get away from it. And I work on a much, much, MUCH smaller scale than her. I know that I get to feeling that I just want to do something I want to do for a change, I want to go do things and find myself in the fresh air outside instead of cooped up indoors sitting on a laptop.
I don’t know if I could give up my blog though. Even for a short hiatus. I just haven’t reached that point yet.
But the more popular bloggers out there have a much different set of pressures upon them. They are pressured to post all the time, every day. If not, readers email or comment and ask where they are, what are they doing, update already! And when they do post, everything they write is immediately placed under a microscope. Offhanded comments in a post are suddenly blown up into these Big Things. It’s celebrity, albeit on a smaller scale. But celebrity isn’t fun.
When I was a kid, it was popular to ask yourself or others, “Would you rather be rich or famous?” And I would always answer, without hesitation, “Rich!”. Because while you could be famous and rich, you could be rich and not necessarily famous. I enjoy a certain amount of anonymity and the freedom it allows me. I don’t like to responsible for too much. Myself and my family is more than enough. But being responsible for a vast readership would be just too much, I think.
On the other hand, of course I would love to get a little more “blog-fame”. It’d be cool to go to a conference like BlogHer and have people know who I am. It’d be great to take advantage of the wonderful ad revenues that would pour in off a big blog. That would take care of those budget woes! I’d love to be able to reach more and more people and have more and more people be interested in what I have to say. I think all bloggers feel that way, to some degree. Otherwise, why else would we be doing this? Yes, I like many others blog to release my feelings and get my creative juices flowing. But I also do so in the hope that someone else might read it too.
There’s a balance that needs to be struck. I feel like I’m riding that balance right now. I don’t have a vast readership, but there’s a fair chunk of people out there who check in with me and might leave a comment now and then. Entire rooms of people don’t know who I am at BlogHer, but I’ve made some good friends who will let me sit at their table with them so I don’t feel totally left out. I don’t make wonderful sums of money off of advertising, but I get a little bit which helps me feel validated and helps buy some gas or groceries. I don’t think I could really ask for much more. I don’t know if I really would want to.
So while I don’t expect that Amalah reads this blog, if she were, I’d tell her to take it easy. Take her break and breathe the fresh air and recharge her batteries. If she wants to return, I’ll welcome her with open arms. If she doesn’t, then that’s to be understood as well. You go, girl.
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