Guess how much fun it is to be my friend??

Posted on Thursday, August 2nd, 2007, 4:40 PM

So it should come as a surprise to no one that I’m pretty much a neurotic mess. I think part of my problem is that I think too much. About everything. I will overanalyze and read far too much into your average situation. Compound that with being a little shy and awkward and you’ve got some social brilliance on your hands. Basically, I’m far too shy to actually introduce myself to you or start a conversation but if by some miracle that we actually DO become friends despite this, then I will be convinced that you absolutely detest me 90% of the time. Usually because you haven’t responded to a text message or something just as trivial.
Fun, huh?

I’m not so sure it has a whole lot to do with self-confidence. I feel pretty confident and happy with who I am. To a degree, at least. Being newly in my thirties, I’m well-resigned to the fact that I am who I am and I probably won’t be changing a whole heck of a lot. If anything, I’ll be gaining more confidence, which can only be good right?

That’s knowledge which doesn’t help my friends a whole lot. And I mean blogfriends and irlfriends alike here. When it comes to blogging, I definitely don’t comment near as much as I should. Just rest assured, I am reading. I am always reading. And, barring any “real life” that intervenes, I’m probably reading shortly after you post it. But I rarely figure my little ol’ comment will matter much in the grand scheme of things and neglect to comment. That and I’m lazy. Nice, huh?

In real life, I will avoid calling anyone on the phone. I live in fear of calling someone and them being in the middle of some busy thing and my call is the one that pushed them over the edge of sanity. I hate to bother people and for some reason, this goes double for phone calls. I also have a hard time just showing up at someone’s house too. So I don’t want to call to say I’m coming and I don’t want to just show up. If I don’t have email or text messaging to fall back on, I’m likely to just stay in my warm little cocoon all day long and count the cracks in the ceiling.

Gosh, now that I put that all down there, I sound pretty damn pathetic, don’t I?

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5 Comments

Posted by Zoot 08.2.2007, 6:13 pm

Did I write this entry? I have this weird issues with assuming that everyone has more important things to do than talk to me. Even the people I consider to be my closest friends. On of my RW friends got in trouble for being on the phone too much at work and I have decided it must be all my fault. WHY?
Posted by cagey 08.2.2007, 7:26 pm

Oh sweetie, it’s not that bad. I only detest you about 75% of the time. :-)
You are too hard on yourself. Really.

However, I am with you on the phone thing. I feel the same way.
Posted by Liz (48 comments.) 08.3.2007, 6:23 am

OMG, I could’ve written this entry. Seriously. Did I?
People think I’m very off-putting because I HATE to talk on the phone. I text like a mad woman, but when people just get tired of texting and call me? I. Freak. Out.
I’m a worst-case-scenario girl. And I always assume that people are thinking nasty thoughts about me. Like, my landlord/friend left us a note with a number for a handy man as we’ll be doing some IKEA-building this weekend. And at the end of the note, he mentioned the lawnmower was under the deck if we needed it. I spent all of yesterday trying to figure out if we were to mow the lawn now because we have so much Henry stuff cluttering the lawn and we’ve basically hijacked the backyard with toddler goodies and ohmygodhehatesuswereterribletenantsGAH!
Posted by Shawna (41 comments.) 08.3.2007, 7:24 am

Hm. Maybe I should adopt a wee bit more of your attitude rather than my current “everyone loves the sound of my voice” one? Sometimes I feel like a cruise director: responsible for entertaining everyone. And then too, there are times I just say what’s on my mind and everyone seems vastly entertained even though I don’t see what’s so funny… Hm. At me or with me, I can’t decide.
Posted by Nancy (68 comments.) 08.9.2007, 6:40 am

I am totally the same way, if it makes you feel any better. I know it doesn’t make ME feel any better to know there’s someone else like this, because I wouldn’t wish our neuroticism on anyone. You know?

(but secretly I am glad there’s someone else out there who gets how it is.)