The Big Question | slackermama . com

Do you remember the “wondering” that went on in this post? FYI, I’m still wondering. But not too hard because I still feel the possibility isn’t very bloody likely. Doesn’t mean I haven’t kicked the notion around a time or two in my mind. And then I die laughing. Because, seriously? There has only been one time where I’ve gotten pregnant without seriously intending to get pregnant. And that was over eight years ago now. I think it’s safe to say that I barely remember what that feeling is like, to find out I’m pregnant without having considered the notion steadily for the last month (or two, or three, or four…). Here’s what I do remember…

I was taking classes part time at the university in a feeble attempt to finish up my bachelor’s degree. I just simply didn’t really care at the time, but Kile had insisted that I do it. We were six months married by that point and I had a pretty decent case of “baby fever”. But I also wasn’t so infected with “baby fever” that I had dates memorized, was taking morning basal temperatures or charting cervical mucous or anything. It was Thursday afternoon in early March and I was sitting in a class not paying attention. I never paid attention, so that was nothing new. I don’t even really remember what class it was, only that it was boring as heck. So I started counting dates. And wondering. More counting, more wondering. By the time I got out of class, I knew I had to get a pregnancy test. Luckily, that was my class of the day. And I already had to pee, so that’s a bonus right there!

On my way home to our apartment, I decided to stop at the Rite Aid they were building down the street from our complex. Only, it wasn’t open yet. So I turned around and went instead to the ShopKo further back down the road. I remember picking the cheapest pregnancy test I could find (Confirm! With bonus keepsake test result!). I also picked up a rawhide bone for our dog because I didn’t want to seem incredibly desperate to buy a pregnancy test. I’d never bought one before and I didn’t want the teenage boy at the checkout stand to pass judgment on me. As if he would call me out for being too young and irresponsible to even THINK about being pregnant. I might have also bought a magazine or some milk (because this ShopKo sold milk for some reason) but I doubt I was fooling ANYONE.

I think I get extra points for waiting until I got home to take the test (by that point I had to pee REAL BAD). But I’d never taken a pregnancy test before in my life and I wanted to “do it right”. I pored over the directions before taking the test. Had to do it right, after all. And I actually took the directions seriously when it said to wait three minutes before checking the result. I set it on the counter and didn’t even GLANCE at it for the next three minutes. I remember even checking my watch to make sure that I waited the full three minutes. What a nerd. I don’t recall what I did during that time but I’m sure it had to involve some pacing.

Then I checked it. And then I looked at the box because I wasn’t sure that was I was seeing was actually what I was seeing. There were two lines there, and never having taken one of these tests I wasn’t entirely certain that two lines wasn’t the common result for a pregnancy test. I mean, what if every test resulted in two lines, regardless of the actual result? Which is pretty laughable considering that in the 8 years since I took that first test, there have been many times I’ve taken pregnancy tests only to wonder if the default and unchangeable result was to only have one line. But I digress. There were two lines. And it occurred to me that perhaps this meant that I was indeed pregnant. So what did I do?

I called my best friend from high school. I wasn’t sure what reaction I was expecting but was a little surprised that she didn’t sound as excited and hyped up by this as I was. But then, like the child that I was incubating in my uterus at that very moment, she was the sort who played her emotional cards very close to her chest. So who knows what she was actually thinking. But I was left after this call without having a satisfactory emotional payout from my newfound information. Still, I waited until Kile was home to tell him.

As soon as he came home, I took him into the bathroom off our bedroom where the test still sat (maybe I was afraid to move it?). I handed him the test. He looked at it and said, “What is this? What am I looking at?” Men. “It’s a pregnancy test,”I told him, feeling a little exasperated. “Okay, but what does this mean?” I handed him the box. He looked at it, then the test. Then at the box again. Then at the test again. Then he looked at me. At that moment, I was starting to have serious reservations about my method of telling him the news. Because I too tend to play my emotional cards close to my chest and the Norwegian and German ancestry running through my blood was telling me that this was perhaps too emotional a situation to be getting myself into. Luckily, Kile had a handle on it (he’s not German or Norwegian).

He took me by the hand and led me into our room where we sat on the bed and he gave me a big hug. And we proceeded to talk about our newfound status as parents. We were both excited, nervous and very, very happy. And that, my friends, is the one and only time I’ve ever been pregnant when I haven’t exactly expected to be. It’s a good memory to have. Chances are, it’s the only time I’ll ever find myself in that particular situation. Getting pregnant without pharmaceutical intervention is simply laughable.

True, I do have to pee a lot more than normal (always a sign for me), as well as the increased fatigue and appetite that are also typical whenever I’ve been pregnant. I haven’t had the sore chestal region though, and I would have expected that. No real nausea though, at least, not until this morning. But I attribute that more to the fact that I was doing Harry’s laundry this morning and that would make anyone nauseated.

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