What is the deal with maternity styles??

by Marilyn on September 10, 2007

I was inspired by this post by Linda over at All & Sundry. I’m not in need of too much in the maternity department this time around as I still have a goodly amount of clothing left from last time and a kind friend bequeathed to me her terribly fashionable maternity shirt collection (and no, I’m not being sarcastic, there are some seriously cute shirts she lent me!). But it stands to reason that Motherhood will see me darken their doors at some point as I only have one pair of maternity jeans and maybe another pair of maternity pants. I’ll probably need more than two pairs of pants to wear for the next nine months. So I decided to cruise the Motherhood webpage and see what was “in style” these days for those who gestate.

What the heck?? I saw this on the front page of the website and I swear my eyes about fell out of my head. Seriously, is anyone buying this? Moreover, are they wearing it in public? Because if I see them, I’m going to have a mighty good laugh. There’s so much wrong with this look that I can’t even begin to name it all. I’m far from a fashion guru, but even I can tell when something is butt ugly. Just… no.

And how about this travesty over here on the right? What decade are we in again? And explain to me why I would want to wear some shapeless sack (even if it is purple polka-dotted) while my body is at it’s hugest? I cannot believe that this would ever look even remotely flattering on me, pregnant or not. And what is WITH that bow?? Are you kidding me?

And let’s talk about this outfit, before I get off my high-horse. Again I must wonder what decade I’m in. Is this the 80’s? Because that thing strangling that model around the neck looks like it has time traveled to get here. But then, the pants look straight out of the 70’s. And… what is up with those sleeves? Let’s just say that I think it’ll be a cold day in hell before I wear any of this.

Boy. Am I ever glad that I won’t be needing a lot of maternity clothes this time around because it looks like the pickings are definitely slim. I’ll just cross my fingers and pray to god that Motherhood had a pair of jeans that will both a) make it over my thighs and b) not fall off my ass every time I bend down. Believe it or not, that’s a pretty tall order.

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