November 2007

Sometimes, I really, really hate my life.  All day long I waited for this ultrasound.  All week.  Ever since I found out I was pregnant, I looked forward.  But I should have known better.  I think I *did* know better.  This wasn’t my first rodeo and I happen to make entirely obnoxious children.

The little turd wouldn’t show us the goods.  Or at least, not a good peek at them anyhow.  And it took us nearly a half hour to get to that point anyhow.  This gal was one of those who has the screen turned away while she does all the measurements and whatnot.  She wouldn’t even let Kile and Liam be in the room until the very end so they had to pace the hallway outside the room, with Liam hollering his bored little head off.  At one point, she had to adjust the bed with my head down to try to dislodge the baby from my pelvis, where IT was perfectly happy to hang out.

Finally, she let Kile in and we got to see some of the baby parts.  She said she’d scanned by the “parts” several times and wasn’t able to quite make anything out and made another try for it.  I was encouraged, the view we were getting was far better than the non-view Liam gave us at my level 2 u/s back then.  At least we could see the general area.  IT seemed to be a in classic “sitting on the copy machine” pose.  You think that would have meant we could have seen something.  The tech was convinced she couldn’t get a good enough view to make an accurate call.  I strained my eyes, first looking for the typical “boy stuff” and seeing none.  Then I looked or the tell-tale signs of a girl and couldn’t quite get a view on that either.  Before I knew it, she was done and we were sent on our way.  I felt like if we’d had another minute or two, maybe poked the baby around a bit, we could have gotten a decent money shot.  But no.

She said she thought it looked like a girl but didn’t want to say for sure.  I had to agree, I’ve seen enough gender ultrasounds to know pretty well what I’m looking at.  But then, there was that moment in time we thought Liam was a girl too.  True, that was later on (something like 28 weeks?) and the angle was different (Liam’s was sort of “head on” and things were in shadow).  So I don’t know.  My gut said?  Girl.  But my gut and a $1.50 will buy you a cup of coffee (not at Starbucks though) so what do I know?

What I’d like to know is WHY CAN’T I EVER KNOW FOR SURE??  Did I piss God off this week?  Actually, we must have because we were pulled over coming out Walmart later on after picking up some bread and cheese.  Kile hasn’t registered the van yet and he loves to put that off until the last possible moment and the guy got us on it.  ARGH.

What I want to do is go down to the nearest ultrasound place here in town (the one in Double Diamond maybe?) and have another look.  But, it’s not in the budget.  Especially not now with Christmas looming.  I’m just so aggravated that once again, I don’t have a concrete answer.  If it IS a girl, I need to know soon because I need to wrangle up some girl clothes.  Otherwise, the child will be wearing the loveliest train jammies home from the hospital.

So.  Today is the day.  The day of the Big Ultrasound.  Can I just say, once more, how glad I am that I got this appointment before Thanksgiving??  I was hoping to know by Turkey Day and now it would appear I may get my wish.  Notice how I said “may”.   Do you remember what happened with Liam when he was in utero?  That’s sort of a trend with my children.  Jackson was a little vague but I think that’s mostly because I didn’t like the first answer I got; that he was a boy.  I’ve mellowed considerably since then, thank goodness.

A lot of people think I’m anxious for this ultrasound because I want this baby to be a girl.  Which, yeah, I would like a girl.  But I have to look at it this way: This child is already whatever it is.  All today will do (hopefully) is show us what it is.  So how an I be upset with what this child already is?  I just can’t.  Plus, I have the knowledge that boys are fabulous and I love being a mom to boys.  The only real reasons I’d like a girl at this point are a) because it’s a new experience, b) this is my last child and last chance to have that experience and c) have you SEEN girl clothes?  CA-UTE.  But really, those reasons are pretty shallow.  Which should tell you that I don’t really care what this baby is.

No, my big desire for this ultrasound is because I NEED TO KNOW.  If you’ve been reading me for any length of time, you probably know I don’t do suspense very well.  If you haven’t then I’ll fill you in:  I don’t do suspense very well.  I’m the sort that often will skip ahead in whatever book I’m reading so that I can see what will happen (the only exception being the “Harry Potter” books, I was a good girl with those).  Even now, as I’m watching my reality tv shows for my reality tv blog I’ll check out the television websites so I can see who is eliminated beforehand so I’m not taken by surprise too much when the time comes.   Silly, aren’t I?  But I’m old and set in my ways and I’m not going to start changing now.

So I just want to know.  I’m scared to death that we’ll get in there and have a shy child.  Well, of that and of a baby that isn’t 100% healthy, but that should go without saying at this point.  I’m hoping against all hope that this child will cooperate and show us the goods without too much trouble.  I want a good, clear shot.  One of those “sitting on a photo copier” style shots.  One way or another, I must know or I shall drive myself and everyone around me absolutely insane before this is all over with.

If you’re interested, my appointment is at 1:30 Pacific time and I’ll be updating my Twitter with the news (or lack thereof) as soon as I can after that.  So keep your eye on my Twitter there to the right (see it?  Up there at the top?  Cute, huh?) if you want advance notice.  Otherwise, I’ll post here with my thoughts when I return home.  And for the love of God, keep your fingers crossed for me!

Gasp! I’ve been tagged!  With NaBloPoMo still chugging along (speaking of which, I’m doing rather well aren’t I?  Not too hard this year at all!), a lot of people are turning to that most dependable and often misunderstood of blogging tools: the meme.  And being that I could either choose to keep gushing over my new design (you like it!  you really, really like it!) or my last minute spazzy thoughts about tomorrow’s ultrasound, I think a meme is definitely in order.  After all, if I talk about the ultrasound today, what will I talk about tomorrow?  We must think about the blog posts!

The Rules 

1. Link to the person that tagged you and post the rules on your blog. (check)
   
2. Share 7 random or weird things about yourself.
3. Tag 7 random people at the end of your post and include links to their blogs. (uh oh, this could be a problem)
4. Let each person know that they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog. (see #3)

I may be a bit of a rule-breaker here.  I tend to let memes die with me as tagging people is a lot like calling people on the phone in my book. I don’t like to do it.  I may just leave the tagging open ended to anyone who wants to participate  (or who desperately needs blog fodder!).

Seven random/weird things about me

1. I was a very picky eater growing up and would not even consider eating mushrooms, any nut besides peanuts, and I didn’t even like grilled cheese sandwiches!  I also didn’t like most meat other than chicken or hamburgers, and would only drink skim milk (to this day, I can tell if the milk on my cereal has even the slightest bit of fat in it).  Maybe strangest of all: I didn’t like syrup on my pancakes or waffles and still don’t. I didn’t like how sticky it was when it got on my hands.  Weirdo!
2. Growing up, I was responsible for a large portion of the house-cleaning and I think that’s why I am so resistant to cleaning now.  Every weekend I had to clean the house so I would work on the downstairs after school on Fridays and do the upstairs on Saturday mornings after I got up.  I always had my trusty walkman on (oh for an ipod back in those days!). I had to vacuum and dust downstairs and vacuum and dust the bedrooms and stairs and clean the bathroom upstairs.  I didn’t have to clean the kitchen or my parents room, but I did have to do the dishes every night after dinner and empty the dishwasher whenever it was full of clean dishes.   Bah, I say!  No more cleaning for me!  Of course, this isn’t a good plan either but I have to say, I feel a bit burnt out on cleaning.
3. My favorite Thanksgiving dish has to be my mom’s mashed potato casserole.  Kile is making it for us this year and he does a darn good job of it.  It involves potatoes (duh), milk, cream cheese, and green onions.  All mixed up and baked together.  YUUUUUM.  Of course, I also am really looking forward to some turkey, cranberry sauce, pie and sparkling cider too.  Dang, I can’t believe I still have to wait two days for this bounty. What’s YOUR favorite part of the Thanksgiving meal (if you celebrate, of course)?
4. I’m really not looking forward to Christmas shopping this year.  It gets worse every year.  I think we have some solutions in place for all our nieces and nephews.  We have exchanged names on my side of the family but not on Kile’s (yet at least).  Then there’s the presents I have to get for both of our parents.  Let’s not forget friends too!  After all that, I’m going to have a heck of a time shopping for my own family.  I’m thinking Kile and I may put off giving presents to each other until after the holiday. I’m just not sure our budget can take it this year. I’d like to agree to put a halt to some of the gift giving this year but I don’t want to be the one to suggest it, lest I look like a monstrous grinch.  But it is truly getting silly and presents are not what this is all about.  In fact, if it weren’t for the presents, I’d probably enjoy Christmas a lot more.  (I won’t even talk about shipping presents which I HATE doing.)
5. My husband’s “obsessive wife” post has been making me think.  I used to always have something that I was obsessing over.  Whether it was “Days” or “Star Wars” or something else, I have always had something to fixate on and drive people crazy with.  I haven’t had anything like that in a long, long time.  I guess you can say my kids have become my obsession.  Getting pregnant/staying pregnant, etc and so forth.  I hope I haven’t lost that part of myself.  My fluctuating Thyroid has me tending towards a depressing sort of state of mind and I can’t help but think that this loss in interests is a direct result.  God, how I would love to get excited about something again.
6. I’d like to have an advent calendar for my family to enjoy each year.  I had one growing up and it was always a highlight of the holiday season.  I haven’t been able to find one I quite like at the stores though.  I saw this on Melissa’s Buzz Off post this morning and think it’s adorable.  I just don’t know if I have the patience or talent to actually make it. I wish I could find one of these pre-made though, I’d be all over it.  What a cute idea!
7. I’m completely and utterly amazed that I am already 20 weeks pregnant.  How did all that time fly by so quickly?  This makes me realize that I’ll be done with this pregnancy before I know it.  This being my last pregnancy ever (most likely), I’d like to try to enjoy it and make it last as long as I can (I can hear your incredulous shouts from here!)  but it’s coming to an end so quickly!  Not sure if I’m ready for that quite yet!  Ask me after the ultrasound tomorrow. 

So, here’s the part where I’m supposed to tag a bunch of people.  Only… I can’t.   I have a mental block on tagging.  So I’m going to go against the rules and hope the blog police don’t come get me and throw me in jail.  If you’d like to do the meme, by all means, DO IT.  And leave me a link in the comments below so I can go see your answers.  But if you have plenty of stuff to talk about and don’t need anything new to talk about, just go on about your business.  Sound good?

Like my alliteration there?  Thought you would.

What do you think of the new look?  I’m still working out the kinks (of course) so pardon my dust.  HOPEFULLY this will show up much better for everyone, myself included.  Hopefully, no more errors when posting posts or comments.  It’s been a trial to find a theme that is even remotely like what I want.  I actually really liked my old design but it just wasn’t working anymore and I lack the patience, time and knowledge to overhaul it.  The best solution was to get something new, but easier said than done.  I like a wiiiiiide design, large posting area and wide sidebars.  Oh, and I want the sidebars widgetized too because I totally have drunk the kool-aid.  And I want it to be WordPress 2.3 compatible.  And I want it to work decently in IE 6.

sigh

Like I said, it took a long time to find anything that was even close to what I wanted.  And, also like I said, lots of work remains to be done.  But I wanted to get this post up before the day dragged on any longer.

AND, I have fantastic news!  I finally got called by the ultrasound lab people and FINALLY got my appointment!  She first suggested one for next Tuesday and then I asked if there was anything sooner.  How’s Wednesday?  PERFECT.  This way, my obsessive need to have this ultrasound before Thanksgiving will be fulfilled.  Now if only the child will cooperate and show me the goods, I’ll have myself a very, merry Thanksgiving too.

please oh please oh please…