Traditions: Don’t mess with my Christmas!

by Marilyn on December 25, 2007

It’s funny isn’t it? We grow up celebrating the holidays one very specific way. And then we become adults and get married to someone who may or may not have grown up celebrating the holidays in a completely different way. And we’re expected to just merge our traditions seamlessly and without any complaint.

Yeah. Right.

I grew up with my parents and four other siblings in California. We didn’t have a lot of extended family close by. There were some cousins who we may get together with either before or after the holiday for a little get-together but for the most part, Christmas was just us. My family moved to California from the midwest in the early 70’s, just before I was born. Since my older siblings were used to spending Christmas with the extended family out in Michigan, my parents felt an urge to make the holiday as special as possible. So they started a tradition where on Christmas Eve, we would all get dressed up and go out to a late lunch/early dinner at some place that we might not otherwise go to during the rest of the year. This was always memorable and I can still vividly remember some of the restaurants we ate at on Christmas Eve. Afterward, we would go to church (I was raised Catholic and Christmas Eve service is just about the most beautiful Mass you could imagine). On the way home, we would look at Christmas lights and then once home, snack on cookies and fudge and open a gift or two before heading off to bed. We would open everything else, Santa gifts included, the next morning as soon as everyone was awake. Then mom would spend the day fixing the dinner which always rivaled Thanksgiving dinner while my dad and brothers would watch football. Voila. That, to me, was Christmas.

The first Christmas I was married was the worst one I’d ever had; at least up until that point. It was about as different from my Christmas as I knew it as you could get. I was used to Christmas Eve being all about the anticipation. I got to where I counted on it. Only, that first Christmas away from my parents house I didn’t really realize that. You know the old saying, you don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone. I had high hopes about spending Christmas in Elko that year. I was actually kind of excited to try something new. But the fates conspired against us. Kile and I both were working at the university (I was taking classes still to finish up my degree) and he had yet to start what is the job he has now. He was set to start shortly before New Years, but for the time being, was still an hourly employee over at the library. So we both had to work on Christmas Eve. Being hourly employees, we needed all the money we could get and there weren’t really any “days off”. We were taking enough days off as it was to go to Elko. We had just moved into a new two bedroom apartment and I was wanting to try to have a baby. We needed the money. So we let for Elko around 3pm on Christmas Eve.

NEVER AGAIN.

I will never again travel anywhere on Christmas Eve. That year, it completely ruined my holiday. By the time we got to Elko, the day was nearly over. There was no lunch out, no Christmas Eve Mass, and his family had the tradition of opening all their gifts on Christmas Eve. Within a couple hours, all the presents were opened and as far as I was concerned, Christmas was over. The next morning, I woke up feeling distinctly disappointed. There was a nice dinner that afternoon, but not like what my mom would have made at home. I found myself incredibly homesick and feeling very sorry for myself.

I’ve loosened up a lot since then. However, the times we have spent Christmas in Elko since we have insisted on opening the majority of our gifts the next morning. I’m lucky that Kile feels the way I do, that the anticipation of Christmas morning should be upheld. As long as you get a present or two the night before, that is. Doing something different isn’t as tragic now as it was then. But then, I’m used to it by now and I’ve matured as well. That first year away from your family can be a huge adjustment.

Though it could be easy for me to say. We’ve adopted more of my family’s Christmas traditions than his. For instance, last night we went out to an early dinner before heading to a candlelight Christmas service at church. On the way home, we gawped at Christmas lights before snacking on goodies and watching the boys open a present or two. But we had a great time, the boys had a great time and that’s what matters, right?

So how do you feel about your Christmas traditions?

Christmas cookies, as decorated by Harry