In an email to a family member of his recently, Kile referred to me as “anti-social” and a large reason why we didn’t have people stay at our house very often. I believe my reaction when I saw that was something like, “!!!” But you know, he’s right. To a degree. It’s not that I don’t enjoy people. I do. I love to have friends and hang out and have fun with them. Some of the best times in recent years have been spent with friends and family and just having a really good time. However. That said, sometimes opening yourself up to other people allows yourself to get hurt as well. As much you like to think it won’t happen, as much as you try to avoid it (perhaps moreso if you try to avoid it), feelings get hurt. And you’re lucky if those feelings are just your own. So you get to a point where you feel like it’s somehow EASIER to just shut yourself up in your home and stay with what you know will be constant. Here are home, with my family, I know that I won’t have the high highs that we enjoy when with friends, but I won’t have the lows either. I won’t have to worry about it.
I’ve said before that I will bend over backward to avoid confrontation. That’s essentially what I do when I get anti-social. I feel singed or nervous about being singed or worry about singing others so I stay home.
But it’s hard on Kile. He professes to be anti-social just like me, but he likes to have friends and he likes to be out of “the cave” and he likes to entertain on occasion. He likes to be able to have people over to the house and cook for them, and play the part of the host. I don’t enjoy that as much as he does, but I do understand that he enjoys it so I try to stuff my own anti-social nature down and go with it. As much as I enjoyed just having us here for dinner last night, and how calm it was, I felt bad for Kile because I know he likes to entertain people.
So I wasn’t at all surprised when he invited our next door neighbor and her daughter over for pie and coffee after dinner. Her husband works in a restaurant that happened to be open on Christmas and he had been gone all day. Was still gone, actually and they had both spent the day pretty much alone. It’s pretty much a no-brainer, right? No one should have to sit alone on Christmas. Kile tried as he might to invite them for dinner, but she demurred. They did show up for coffee and pie and her daughter proceeded to frustrate Harry by wanting to play “Finding Nemo” on the Xbox instead of “Spider-man 2″, but they played pretty well while we sipped coffee, ate pie and chatted. We even used our fancy china coffee pot and coffee cups (with saucers!). And Kile insisted on filling her up a plate full of pie, fudge and cookies to take home for her husband when he finally did get off work.
You know, I’m proud of him. He’s got such a good heart. I don’t have near the social skills he does and sometimes his generosity and giving nature just humbles me. And yes, I do wish he had more opportunity to show others that good nature of his. Hopefully someday.
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