And I don’t mean like we call Harrison “Harry” or William “Liam”, either. No, I’m talking about those goofy family nicknames you come up starting as early as when the child is utero and they stick until the child gets old enough to roll their eyes at you if you dare to call them that in public.
We have a history of name calling in this house. We do it with virtually every living being (except ourselves… isn’t that funny?). Like Mistletoe is more commonly known as Beetoe. She has a few other, less flattering names as well. Holly is Pup as well as Pain in the Ass. Twerp. You get the picture.
Harrison, besides being Harry, has been called all variations on “Harry Bear” since he was first born. “Hairsy Bearsy” is a common one (and if you dare say in front of someone he knows he will CUT YOU). As he’s gotten older and we’ve gotten a firmer grasp on his personality, we’ve come up with some more. Stinky Pants Porter is one of them. Cuz DANG. And Joe. As in Slow Joe. (”Have you met my Slow? His name is Joe. I do not know why Joe is so Slow.”) Cuz DANG. This last weekend we added another. Jeff. As in Deaf Jeff. You may be seeing a trend. Anyhow, the older he gets, the more this drives him crazy and the more we do it. We’re a loving family that way.
Liam is not immune by any means from our nicknames. Right off the bat, Kile referred to him as his “Pocket Monkey.” Because, you know, he was ITTY. Then he started to be referred to as a “Puny Runt” which we still call him to this day (he may be normal sized compared to some babies, but considering how big Harry always was, he’s a Puny Runt). Then, with his tongue tie and everything else, we coined the term “Tongue Tied Nose Breather”. It appealed to us because it sounded so RUDE but it was so so true (the nose breather thing actually came from his pediatrician). And when Liam got the Croup a couple months ago and Kile was taking him into a steamy shower every night before bed, the nickname “Little Steamy Croupy Boy” was born. Even better, it came with a little song. “Little Steamy, Croupy Boy/Likes to play with all the toys…”
We can’t help but wonder what nicknames will befall poor Evie when she makes her appearance. Time will only tell. And I can promise her this: it will take her a lifetime to live them down. I’ll see to it myself.
