April 2008

Another weekend, another list of post that you need to read.  This last week was just shy of anarchy around here.  I’m still figuring out the routines and new routines need to be made, but I think we’re getting it.  I even left the house yesterday with both of them and we were relatively on-time too!  That’s a damn miracle.   And, even in the midst of all the chaos and sleepless nights, I’ve still managed to compile a great list for you fine folks.

• This is definitely not cool OR pretty from Absolutely Bananas blog: Parenting a son in Seat. I have had exactly the same sort of argument with my son and it is scary just how maddening it is. I look forward to many more of these types of conversations in the future. Lucky me.
  
• The whole flag thing got me thinking. from MOMocrats.  This is kind of a hot-button issue to me.  Not the whole “candidates need to wear the pin” thing because that is just beyond stupid.  No, what gets me is the whole “if you display a flag you’re a republican” mentality that has cropped up over the last six years.  How did we let this happen? 
  
• Dump Cake. A Potlucker’s Paradise. from Cooking. Mmm… dump cake. A friend of ours turned us on to this recipe several years ago and I’m happy to see it’s a favorite of PW’s too. It’s so bad, but so good too. And she makes it look downright gourmet.
  
• Items in which blame should be placed according to… from GraphJam. All of these silly graphs of theirs are funny but this honestly made me laugh  out loud.  Because, darn it, I used to really like that song.
• A Friendly Reminder from Suburban Turmoil.  I had to include this because it is SO TRUE.  My husband is the same way and it drives me nuts.  So much so that last year I had him show me how to use the lawn mower so that I could take matters into my own hands when I needed to.
  
• Two’s Company from Mom-101.  I needed to read this.  Even though Evie is our third (fourth?) child, it feels more like the second child phenomenon. And her words rang true to me. It’s so hard and there is so much guilt involved.  But it is so worth it too. 
  
• My Child Will Taunt You in the Bathroom from shamelesslysassy.com.  Oh LORD.  Please tell me I will not have this child in a couple years time.  If I do, I may just melt into the floor in complete and total embarrassment.  But this story is SO FUNNY. 
  
• The State of the Mommyblog from Suburban Turmoil.  Another  one from Lindsay, but I could NOT leave this one off this week’s list.  This post is so good and so true that I think it should be elevated beyond just being a post.  And it has, as it is the basis for the first mommy blogging session at BlogHer this year. 
  
• Sammich, With Bevvies, To Go (A Urinary Tale) from Her Bad Mother.  I know this drove HBM crazy, but I thought it was both hysterical and awesome.  But then, my only experience in potty training so far has been my oldest son and it was quite simply a disaster.  So WB’s initiative really impresses me.
  
• Taming the Picky Eater: The Guessing Game from Blissfully Domestic.  If anyone ever needed a post like this, it’s probably me.  Liam is the pickiest child to ever pick, I swear to it.  If there’s anything I can do to encourage him to eat, I want to hear it and I imagine lots of other mom’s feel the same way.

Aww, you’re welcome. It was nothing. Shucks.  You’re making me blush. Heh.  I hope you all have great weekends and enjoy the sunshine (provided you have any where ever you are at).  I’ll be over here with a baby attached to my body.

Looking back, I think it was the Christmas before Kile and I were married that I received my “worst” present from him.  I say that in quotes because I don’t think anything he’s ever given me has been really bad, just… a little unorthodox.  But, for the most part, unorthodox is okay with me.  I mean, I was THRILLED the Christmas where my big present from him was a copy of Windows XP for my computer.  Until then I’d been limping by with Windows Me (the worst operating system in the history of operation systems) and that was the perfect gift for me right then.  So yeah, I’m a bit of a nerd.  I accept that.

That year, we were both still in college.  We worked part time, but money wasn’t really abundant for either of us.  We had some credit at a local furniture store and that’s about it.  So a lot of our gifts that year came from, yes, the furniture store.  It was one of those places that had a lot of different things for sale, however.  Stop laughing!  It sounds worse than it was.  Or maybe it doesn’t.

That was the first Christmas  we both spent together, at my parent’s house.  The previous year we’d been apart for the holidays so this was a big deal.  Plus, it was the last Christmas before we were married.   Christmas morning arrived, and I was surprised to see this present under the tree for me from Kile.  I wasn’t expecting much of anything.  But I should have known he wouldn’t let the holiday go by without a gift.  I opened it and it was… a cd tower.

On the plus side, it was very functional and practical.  I had a lot of cds that had no home and were living in boxes and in drawers.  Now I had a place that I could arrange and display them easily and attractively!  It was heavy and sturdy and just right to fit in my cramped apartment bedroom.

However.  It’s not necessarily a romantic gift.  Or a fashionable gift.  Or even a remarkable gift.  It was a piece of furniture.  Nothing flashy there.  It wouldn’t have even mattered or been noticed but my sister was also there with her fiance.  They were set to be married just six months after we were.   And what gift did he give to her?  A lovely crushed velvet bodysuit (as was the style at the time) from Victoria’s Secret.  Complete with the pink packaging and satin bow and the whole nine yards.  Now, at that time, I had a serious thing for velvet.  Especially crushed velvet.  And I really liked bodysuits.  And I LOVED Victoria’s Secret.  So of course I oohed and ahhed over my sister’s gift.  And I guess my reaction to her gift made Kile feel a little bad about what he had given me.

I feel a little bad about that.  I’ve teased him about it over the years, because he felt so badly about it.  But I did assure him at the time (and every time since then)  that his gift was just FINE. I liked it, I use it all the time (it is still being used, in fact, ten years later!).  Yes, I liked the gift my sister received very much but that didn’t make me appreciate his gift any less.

Like I said.  It wasn’t a really romantic gift.  But it sure was a thoughtful one.  And isn’t that what counts?

So Elisa and the fabulous women at BlogHer have just published the preliminary schedule for this year’s conference.  Of course, I had to go take a look right away because I’m a superfan that way.  In case you weren’t aware, this year’s BlogHer conference is taking place July 18-20 in San Francisco.  If that weren’t cool enough (I grew up in the Bay Area.  Believe me, it’s cool), the agenda for the two days is already blowing my freakin’ mind.  And it’s not 100% completed yet!  Not for the first time, I find myself wishing for an a la carte system with the sessions.  But I’m thinking this year I’d STILL have trouble fitting in everything I want to see and do.

First off, I’m speaking.  Woot!  Self-conscious introverts REPRESENT!  And, GAH, it’s the first session of the first day.  Nothing like tossing the self-conscious introverts into the deep end first thing, eh ELISA?  Anyhow, the good news about that is that I’ll “get it over with” and will be able to enjoy the rest of the conference, nervous flop sweat-free.  The bad news is that my session is scheduled opposite this mommy blogging session and I’m in agony because I WANT TO GO.  Lindsay from Suburban Turmoil is going to moderate because of her recent (awesome)  post.  I love that post.  I will have to miss this session.  I AM VERY SAD.

But my sadness does not end there because this year’s conference is literally FULL of sessions I want to go to.  I’m not even kidding, people.  Shoot, just take a look at the last session of the last day.  There is this one which pretty much guarantees to be awesome (as it is every year), this one which I have a deep-seated interest in as I’ve wanted to be a published author for pretty much my whole life, this one which has some cool speakers and is a pretty awesome topic and then this one which pretty much sums up the first couple of years of my blogging life and I have a serious heart for this topic.   What the HECK am I going to do??  Can someone just videotape all the sessions so I can go back and watch the ones I missed?  Kthxbai.

Seriously, I am beyond excited about it.  I’m a little nervous about transportation as I will be staying with my parents in San Jose and this equates to a GHASTLY commute up the peninsula every morning in time so that I don’t miss anything (including my own session).  I will basically need to be up at 3:00am every day.  And I am 99% sure that Evie will be coming with me (we girls gotta stick together).  Though Kile is wondering about getting a room at the Westin for Friday night and we stay up there with Liam and Evie while Harry stays behind in the ‘Ho with my parents.  Decisions, decisions.

At any rate.  Are you going?  If you are, do let me know, so we can spaz out and get excited together and maybe hook up at the welcome breakfast so we’re not sitting all by ourselves.  Deal?

Nights are a fog these days.  Moments strung together, blurred together, in an unending stream until the light from behind the blinds starts to lighten.  She wants to eat, but she can’t seem to get a latch.  We’re laying down, that’s the problem. It would seem then, that there’s an easy solution.  But I don’t want to sit up.  I want to sleep.

I swear, I’m getting less sleep every night.  This morning, as Kile took his shower, it seemed that Evie had finally drifted off.  But as he was getting dried off and dressed, she stirred again.  And, God help me, I couldn’t seem to bring myself to care.  She cried and I just closed my eyes, indulging in the respite.

Her cry doesn’t seem to affect me like Liam’s did and does.  His was somehow more sympathetic.  Does that even make sense?  I couldn’t stand to hear Liam cry.  He always sounded so pathetic and helpless.  I don’t have that same feeling about Evie’s cries.  In fact, after a long night of struggling, her cries barely even penetrate my consciousness.

I should feel guilty, I think.  But I don’t.

I do love her.  Of course I do.  But I’m also so tired.  And I’m desensitized.  The days are long and not always easy.  Liam had a rough day yesterday and it would appear he’s geared up for another rough day today.  He wants what I can’t give him right now, cuddles on my lap and time and patience.  I’m definitely low on patience.  Yesterday, he was as bad as he’s ever been, and had a few temper fits.  He even threw things at Harry, unprovoked.  That earned him some time in the pack n’ play.  Kile didn’t know what to do with him.  I had my hands full with a baby that doesn’t ever seem to want to stop nursing.

And now, Kile is at work.  Harry is at school.  Evie is finally sleeping, but for how long?  Liam needs some breakfast and to be let out of the pack n’ play.  The day stretches before me.  And I think, I haven’t had near enough coffee for this.