I mentioned a couple days ago that I wasn’t feeling many warm fuzzies towards Liam on our recent trip to Elko. I’m a little ashamed to mention that, even. Parents aren’t supposed to be like that, right? And, for what it’s worth, our vacation didn’t start off that way. No, I started to become especially annoyed some time after Kile’s surgery and the ensuing chaos.
The thing is, it wasn’t his fault. Not really. He was just being himself. And he’s not “bad” on purpose. He’s just curious and has a boundless supply of energy. Everything is a joke to him, so he laughs and smiles and is generally good natured about things, even when he’s doing something he’s not supposed to and is getting chewed out.
But my patience was in short supply last week. I’ve had a couple months to get used to taking care of both Evie and Liam at the same time, but that also means I’ve had a couple months to secure my home and make Liam-proof adjustments accordingly. My mother in law had a gate up, which helped immensely when it was in use, but there still was plenty for him to get into. And I felt nervous enough about him getting into things he wasn’t supposed to that the stress of simply just being there started to build and build.
When we first got there, Kile was easily on hand to intervene as needed. No problem. If I was nursing Evie or otherwise involved with her, then he could step in and problem was solved. But after his surgery, it was almost like he wasn’t there at all. And while Harry could help, he was often outside riding his scooter or in the basement playing Xbox. My mother in law, bless her heart, spent more and more time as the week wore on down in her room. I can’t blame her one bit because if I could have escaped, I totally would have too. And I felt bad that we were causing her enough stress that she felt she had to escape at all. It was her house and to have to escape in your own house has got to pretty much suck.
So I would be feeding Evie and while I was tied down, Liam would be perpetrating some awful shenanigans and I would slowly feel my brain start to slide out my ears.
I got to where I RELISHED the times when Liam was out of the equation. The time in the morning before he woke up, when he was in his high chair for lunch, his naptime (God bless the naptime!), dinnertime in the high chair and then, at long, long last, bedtime. I loved when he not there. It makes my skin crawl to write it now. But it was true.
Now that we’re back home, thankfully, things have gone back to normal. At least, moreso than they were last week. Liam has slid into his old routine and our childproofed-within-an-inch-of-it’s-life living room has gone a long way towards lowering my blood pressure. No more do I need to worry about Liam flipping his sister out of her bouncy seat, or shanghai’ing a remote control or telephone or generally making a mess. Well, he makes a mess here, but his toys that he’s scattering to the four winds and besides being generally easy to clean up, it’s not as offensive, somehow.
So I’m on the road to recovery with Liam, and repairing our special relationship. I don’t like to feel the way I did about him. So I want to hear from you guys: Have there been times where your relationship with one or more of you children has changed temporarily for the worse? Tell me this is normal. And tell me that I won’t feel this way when we go to visit my parents next month.
{ 7 comments }
Andrea Payne 06.19.08 at 11:35 am
There have been several times when my relationship with one of my kids was not the greatest. The year my oldest was 13 comes to mind first. She was a hormonal teenager, and I “just didn’t understand her”. ( her words) We butted heads just about every day, and I got to a point where I liked it when she was in her room. My son is 13 now and we are having some of the same problems with him, and yes there are times when I am glad when he is not home. But things have and will get better. My 11 year old is a VERY curious child and sometimes it grates on my nerves, but with some time it all works out. The stress of Kile’s surgery and the fact that you were at your mother in law’s added to your feelings about Liam. I can’t say if you will have the same feelings at your parents house or not, but I would guess probably not. these are your parents and you will feel a little more comfortable, so that will help.
Hopefully this will help…
Kate 06.19.08 at 3:20 pm
OMG YES!
There are absolutely times (this past Tuesday comes to mind) when I feel the same exact way about my 5 year old son. ….if you could only read the IM conversation I had with my best friend that day…you would feel ALLOT better!
Good Luck!
brit (94 comments.) 06.19.08 at 4:47 pm
Dude I feel you . it is so overwhelming to take a two year old to someone else’s house. It’s like they’ve put things out just for your guys devious pleasure.
don’t be two hard on yourself, it’s hard being the mama especially out of context.
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V 06.20.08 at 3:20 am
Of course it is perfectly natural to go through a stage of feeling this way. I often felt it when my son was a toddler, not so much now that he is 9. We will see what happens when he hits the teenage years! It is obviously especially difficult in your situation, visiting in-laws with a toddler and a nursing baby not to mention the stress of a sick hubby. You may experience it to a degree at your parent’s house but I am willing to bet not too much as you will (hopefully) not have the same level of stress.
michelle 06.20.08 at 6:44 am
Yes, it is normal. I get that way at my own house. And I only have one. So you are SO not allowed to be feeling guilty or be that hard on yourself for it, or I’ll have to call CPS on myself.
And who are you kidding? You know you’ll feel that way at your mom’s house because, dude, I’ve been to that house. There’s never anything out of place. So Harry’s toys, Liam’s toys and Evie’s things… it’s gonna get to you. But just remember if you get stressed, that you’ll go home soon and it will all get back to normal.
And if it gets really bad, just go on a trip down memory lane… “this is where I built a CD tower with Michelle… this is where my dad dropped pizza on the floor at my surprise party… this is where I fell asleep watching the little mermaid…”
Heather (8 comments.) 06.20.08 at 1:20 pm
I only have one and there have been times I’ve felt that way as well. She’s a seven-year-old girl with boundless energy. Most days I love the time after her bedtime. It’s so nice and quiet and peaceful. She’s a really good girl and we enjoy her totally, but she does have a lot of energy. I love it when we get an opportunity to snuggle, though. It makes it all worth it. She’s learning to give some awesome shoulder massages too!
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Bethiclaus (7 comments.) 06.22.08 at 4:49 pm
OMG! SO NORMAL! At least if I am any indication. Toddlers are so difficult, especially when you’re dealing with an infant as well. The things we do in our homes to make our lives manageable are necessities. Even in my own home, I occasionally wish my toddler would just go away for a little while. The fact that you did so well in someone else’s home is commendable in my opinion.
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