Self-consciousness and BlogHer

by Marilyn on July 2, 2008

Perhaps, just maybe, it’s ironic that I’m speaking on a panel about overcoming introversion at BlogHer this year and I find myself feeling rather, well, introverted about it all?  I don’t know.  I never could really pin down the definition of irony, after all.  Dang that Alanis Morrisette.  She totally screwed me over with that one.

Some of you who are going to BlogHer this year have met me at past BlogHer conferences.  Some of you have not.  For those of you who have not, I want to be sure to tell you what to expect when and if you see me there.  What to look for.  We don’t get a really good physical representation of ourselves on these blogs and I so rarely ever take pictures of myself.  So here goes:

  • Despite the hip, new haircut, I’m really rather dorky.  It shows in my physical personna.
  • I am tall, about 5′8, and awkward with it.  I don’t wear heels because I don’t want to emphasize it.
  • I’m also large boned which makes me feel like a hulkish freak at times.  Tall and Large.  Fantastic.
  • Add to that all the excess baby weight that is hanging around.  So yeah, that’s my way of saying I’mon the chunky side.  I definitely have some extra padding (read: back fat, jiggly arms, thunder thighs, floppy belly, big ol’ boobs… you name it).
  • I wear glasses.  I take them off usually for pictures of myself but I do wear them all the time.  I can’t see, otherwise.
  • My clothes are either out of fashion or ill-fitting or both.  I’ve never been very good at knowing what looks good on me.
  • I have big feet, which will probably be wearing flip flops.  Unless I’m wearing jeans. Then I’ll wear sneakers.
  • My nails are messed UP.  I hope to have them painted and hopefully looking halfway presentable but they’re an issue for me right now.
  • My teeth aren’t so great either.  I have an enormous mouth and big teeth and they don’t look THAT great.  I see myself smiling in pictures and cringe half the time.  I hope to whiten them before going so at least they’ll be white, you know?
  • I’m not entirely sure I know what to do with my new ‘do.  I’ve tried a couple times so far and so far it looks pretty sad.  Plus, you know, mah hairs is all gone!  I’m not used to it yet.

So there you go.  Paints a pretty picture, huh?  I’m thinking I did one of these last year too.  Shows you what a self-conscious twit I can be.  But… there you have it.

Also: Am still stressing the budget.  I SO want to stay at the Westin on Friday night.  But Kile keeps hemming and hawing.  He tells me to raise the money.  RIGHT.  And how would I do that?  Perform a little magic trick and it’ll appear?  Voila!  Wouldn’t that be nice?  I’m going to try to sell some of my maternity clothes (now that I don’t need them anymore) that still look nice (the rest are getting donated) and see what that brings in.  I have my latest ad revenue check from BlogHer.  But beyond that?  Ehhhh…

I hate to even SAY it but I considered putting up a PayPal donate button in the sidebar.  You know one of those, “Help me go to BlogHer!” type deals.  But I don’t know, that just feels… weird.  I hate to even think it.  Still, it may come to that.  Perhaps I could offer up some swag to donators come August when the budget has righted itself once more and I can make it to the post office.

I don’t know.  I hate to ask anything of you guys.  You’re all so fabulous and I’m just amazed that I have any readers here at ALL.  You guys, for lack of a better word, ROCK.  I should be sending you guys swag just for showing up day by day.

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{ 7 comments }

1

Kate 07.02.08 at 6:03 pm

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OK girl…you and I NEED to talk!!!

5′8″ hurumph…that is the perfect height!

I’m 6′2″!!!!!!!
and one more ‘!’

‘hulkish freak’ …snort…I used that term many times over the past month…when i had to find a outfit for my brothers wedding.

OK darling…here is my advice (given to me from a dear dear friend).. take your self (height, hair and all) and OWN IT!

Find a pair of fabulous shoes and LOVE THEM! What size are you?!?! I have a Fab pair of red satin peep toe pumps that need a new home (they don’t fit me ’cause of my ginormous feet)…they would look fab with jeans and a black shirt.

OK so jazz hands and caps aside..find an ensemble that makes you feel good. For me, its dark jeans and some sort of black top…usually a polo or concert tee (I find that mens clothing works best for my frame…wide shoulders…big boobs…etc) then dress it up with whatever your ‘thing’ is…for me..its silver bangles and BIG earrings. With your new cut…you could totally rock some cool hoops.

I just realized I could totally run on and on and on….

Good Luck!

p.s. Crest white strips gave me a HUGE boost of confidence before my bro’s wedding.

2

wpdunn71901 (1 comments.) 07.02.08 at 7:18 pm

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Oh stop it, you are adorable

wpdunn71901s last blog post..Going Where You Ain’t Supposed To Be - Urban Explorers

3

Loralee (126 comments.) 07.02.08 at 7:45 pm

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We are the same height and if you have size 10 feet like I do, it will be awesome to be in good company. (And? I’m wearing wedges just to prove something to myself!)

I am stressing about my wardrobe but truly, I can’t afford anything new and so it will just have to DO.

I have to put faith in others that they are not that shallow and it is all my inner fear talking.

I can’t wait to meet you. I just hope your head doesn’t explode by my pressure of speech. :)
Loralees last blog post..Kind of like Post Secret except you won’t have to make a card or spend money on a stamp. (And obviously, it’s not NEARLY as cool and awesome)

4

Rhi (44 comments.) 07.02.08 at 9:23 pm

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Me:
5′11″ - Size 11 feet. Blind as a bat.

Also - you can SO stay with Carly and I on Friday night! And, I think we both love you so much that, well, it may not cost you much :)
Rhis last blog post..Call me Annika

5

Missy (18 comments.) 07.02.08 at 9:42 pm

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I am so glad someone else is planning to wear flipflops! I totally got told not to, but I love mine, so yay.

I considered the Donate button thing too, but felt odd about it. Especially since there are other people who might actually need it to get to BlogHer, and I just want it for drinking money! But I think you could do it - no-one’s under any pressure to donate, so it’s fine.

See you soon!

Missys last blog post..How Did This Happen?

6

Aimee Greeblemonkey (1 comments.) 07.02.08 at 10:07 pm

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Great minds think alike. I posted about this today too. And I am taller, 5′10″, and have VERY big bones.

Aimee Greeblemonkeys last blog post..I am going to BlogHer. And part of me is not happy about it.

7

Ariel (9 comments.) 07.03.08 at 7:12 am

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ya know what? I don’t know a single solitary soul that is completely comfortable with the way he/she looks. There’s always going to be something about ourselves that we want to change. Don’t dwell on those things, dwell on the positives. I’m 5′4, a shrimp, and overweight.. but ya know what? I have a great pair of eyes! What do you like about yourself?

Ariels last blog post..Funny Prank in Japan

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