First: If you aren’t going to BlogHer this week then I will have to apologize now.  I’m not guaranteeing anything, I doubt I’ll be posting about much else for at least the next week.  I’m not wanting to rub anyone’s nose in it or anything or say, “Neener, neener!  I’m going to go have a great time and you aren’t!”  But I also realize that when you are on the outside looking in, it’s very hard not to feel like everyone is saying that.  So I understand where you all are sitting, as long as you can understand where I am sitting.

And where I’m sitting?  Is EXCITED.  And also?  STRESSED.

And since it’s a Sunday and it’s hot outside and I’m lazy, let’s do some bullets, shall we?

What I’m stressed about re: BlogHer ‘08:

• The drive down to San Jose itself on Thursday.  We’re going early, and though we’ve traveled with Evie to Elko, I’m still nervous about going over the mountain.  We haven’t made this particular trek yet.  Am worried my brain will explode when we hit Donner Summit.
• Wrangling Liam at my parents’ house.  If it was stressful to contain him in Elko, it will been ten times worse at my parents’ house.  Just trust me.  I grew up there, I know how my mom works.  The only upshot here is that with the conference and all, we’ll only have to deal with less than 12 hours of Liam Roaming Time.  Still.  I’m scared.
• Let’s backtrack a bit.  What are we going to do with our dogs?  Hmm.  We should probably figure that out, huh?  (For those just joining the program, my mom decreed that our pets were persona non grata a couple years ago so we have to leave them behind when we visit.)
• Driving up to San Francisco the day of the conference.  I’ll have to wake up at HELL o’clock and leave at an equally ungodly hour.  And deal with ungodly traffic, I’m sure.  HELP ME.
• I have an ugly nose.  And a stupid voice.  (And Kile just gave me a gin and tonic and I’ve had to retype this sentance no less than five times.)  And people … (wait… where was I going with this?  Oh yeah!) might think I’m a complete dork.  And they won’t want to sit with me.  And they’ll actively try to ditch me.  And I’ll look stupid.  Cuz I am.
• (gin and tonics are awesome, remind me to order one or two or ten at the cocktail party, kay?)
• I forget what else I was stressed about.
• Oh yeah!  Footwear.  Since it has been decreed that jeans will be worn in lieu of shorts, I probably can’t get away with wearing flip flops with those, right?  SO WHAT DO I WEAR?  See, here is where I wish I was able to get those Chuck Taylor knockoffs at Payless last weekend.  Damnit.
• I think I’m speaking or something.  Kinda nervous about that.  GULP.
• Dealing with Evie during the entire conference.  Seriously, she will be where I am 100% of the time (maybe 90%, but, eh, who’s counting?) and I wonder if my back and my nerves can take it.
• I wasn’t invited to any super-cool events this year (like last year’s Real Simple dinner).   That sorta makes me feel like a bit of a loser.
• I can’t go to the People’s Party on Thursday night.
• I may not even be able to go to either of the cocktail parties.  At most, I’ll be able to hang out for a half hour before I have to go tend to my children.  BAH.
• At least one awesome betch isn’t going this year.  That sucks.

What I’m excited about re: BlogHer ‘08:

• More of these gin and tonics, that’s for damn sure.
• Meeting all of these absolutely wonderful women that I am SO EXCITED TO MEET that I can hardly stand it.  (okay, who’d I miss?)
• Seeing some of the internet’s biggest rockstars and while I’ll be way too shy to actually, you know, SAY HI, I will get to see them and perhaps even take stealthy pictures of them.  Sweet!
• The swag.  I can’t wait to see what the swag is this year.  Every year, it seems to get better.  Bring on the goodies!
• I’m going to probably meet EVEN MORE fabulous women just like I did last year.
• (am starting to wonder if I should eat something to soak up this alcohol since it’s been a good 5 hours since I ate and I’m starting to see double here.)
• (this is off of ONE gin and tonic, ya’ll.  I am officially a freakin’ lightweight.)
• Going to San Francisco.  We haven’t been up there in literally AGES and I’m sorta excited to see the city again.  We go to San Jose regularly, but it just isn’t the same.
• Seeing some old friends that I love dearly.  You guys so totally rock.
• (OMG, still not finished with a) this post and b) this drink)
• Staying at a hotel.  Sure, we’ll have two small children with us, but it’s still the best vacation we’ve taken in YEARS.
• I am officially too drunk to finish this post.  SRY. (ONE GIN AND TONIC, ya’ll.  THAT AIN”T RIGHT.)