I can hardly claim to be a huge fan of the State of Nevada.   I don’t even really think of it as “my” state.  Then again, I don’t really consider California “my” state either, even through I grew up and spent 18 years of my life there.  And it’s like, six miles from my house.  Does this mean I have no home?  Hmm.  At any rate, I’m not particularly “married” to Nevada.  It’s just where I happen to live.  And a lot of the time, it gets on my nerves.  BUT, today I need to share what I love about this fair state I live in.

• Four distinct seasons.  Sure, two of those seasons last about a week (Fall and Spring), but they’re all gorgeous in their own way.  All that said, I’m so happy to live somewhere where it snows.  I LOVE SNOW.  There, I said it.
• We’re a short drive away from some of the most beautiful spots in the country.  Lake Tahoe, anyone?  I could be up at the lake within the hour if I wanted to be.  I love the mountains too.  It’s just beautiful up there.
• Right now (and today is the last day of it, if I’m remembering right), I could go to the grocery store and pick up some milk and eggs and cast a vote for the leader of the free world.  Early voting is a SNAP here.  Not only can you vote at some grocery stores, but libraries and other places as well.  In 2004, I met Kile for lunch at the university and we voted there.  I love how easy it is.
• We can also buy booze at our grocery stores, which I’m told isn’t the case in some states.  Why, just last night we bought some champagne and the fixin’s for appletinis.
• If you are the sort that likes to play the slots, you can play those in a grocery store too.  I’m just not that sort of person.  Still, the option is there.  Options are good!
• You can go 70mph on Interstate 80.  Of course, we generally have it a little closer to 80 because there is NOTHING OUT THERE, but lets hear it for being able to book across the state at high speeds!
• Nevada Day.  GOD BLESS NEVADA DAY.  When I first came up here to go to school, I couldn’t believe that Halloween was a state holiday.  How handy was that??  They’ve since changed it a bit so that the “observed” holiday is on the last Friday of the month but this year it’s luckyk enough to actually fall on the actual Nevada Day (in other words: Halloween).  I used to love to tell my friends that we got Halloween off.  So while the rest of the country is working today like it’s any other Friday, Kile and I are sitting around in our jammies, sipping our tea and coffee and playing on our laptops.  Woo hoo!  Three day weekend!

Plus, you know, this gives us extra time to do some much needed grocery shopping and carve pumpkins and whatnot.  I’ll have to post either later today or tomorrow with pictures of the kids going trick or treating.  So tell me this: What are all your kids dressed up as this year?  Any cool costumes?

Today’s post is coming to you a little late. It was a kind of weird morning around here and I’ve been having a hard time keeping my eye on the prize. Frankly, I’m a little surprised to see that it’s already 1pm.  But not that I’m complaining because that means naptime is upon us and, well, naptime is that much closer to bedtime.  And bedtime is the best time of day.  Still, I’m not exactly happy that it’s a Thursday.

Thursday means that it’s the night that Kile goes to Scheel’s after work to meet with their running club.  Add to the fact that he went out running a half hour before bedtime last night leaving me to put both kids to bed and, well, I’m kinda putting running in general on my shit list.  Tonight, he won’t be home until after bedtime so I get to do it by myself again.  Normally, no big deal, but both Liam and Evie seem to want to go to bed at the SAME time.  So while I’m dealing with one, the other is invariably screaming.  Sadly, the “other” is often Evie because once Liam is settled, I’m then free to take my time nursing her to sleep (and watching Rachel Maddow, if you want specifics).

But, I may have evened the playing field a bit because I just dropped some significant change on some diapers.  Yes, DIAPERS.  Save me from myself, people!  Honestly though, these are a good investment as they have a great resale value.  Plus they work fantastic and are cute as hell.  So I couldn’t resist getting this and this and this.  Hey, with three I got free shipping!  Of course, this means I have to sell the diapers that aren’t really working for us right now to make up some of the money spent.  And I am expecting (hoping) (praying for) an affiliate check from HostGator sometime before the end of time.  Sooo… I justified it.  Plus, with all that damned running, he can’t really say anything.  Heh.

So I think I’ve decided that I need to stop looking at my stats.  It’s hard, of course. (Since I’ve already checked them today.)  But I’m going to give it my best shot.  If I can’t be strong and just avoid looking at them, I’m going to uninstall the plugin I use.  I’m still not sure what I should be posting about, to find my “mojo” once more, but hopefully it’ll come to me.  Because at the end of the day, I just want to be having fun and enjoying my blog.  Not too much to ask, right?

Remember the other day when I mentioned that Evie started doing this silly thing with her nose that was making me want to eat her?  I sort of got it on video this morning.  She would make the face and then I think she would get too excited and either cough or giggle or squeal.   It’s a lot of pressure for a little girl.  At the very least, you get to see some footage of a baby girl being very, very silly.  (And you can hear me doing the “nose thing” in the background to encourage her.)  (Not that it worked.)  Hold onto your ovaries!

I don’t know what’s going on with my blog, ya’ll.  I think I’m losing focus.  The stats are down, my inspiration is down… This is not good, heading into NaBloPoMo, which I always look forward to each year and which requires constant content.  At the left there you see a graph of my weekly stats.  The highest point was BlogHer, I believe.  This week isn’t even half over yet, so obviously it’s still low, but you have to admit there’s a deliberate downtrend there.

And yet… WHY DO I CARE?  Or do I really?  It’s not really about ad revenue.  So I can’t blame the ads for watching these and feeling a pit in my stomach.  I think it has more to do with… ego.  After I had Evie, my blog enjoyed a nice boost.  A lot of people were visiting and commenting, I had lots to post about and everything was great.  In recent months, the visitors have dropped off, I’ve lost inspiration and I’m left feeling like a wallflower once again.

For the record, I hate feeling like that.

I don’t want to care.  I want to move past it.  I want to get back to the CONTENT.  But I am just not sure how to do that.  What was I posting back in the spring and summer that I enjoyed so much?  What about before then?  Right now, I feel like I have no goal.  I’m a boat set adrift in the sea of the internet.  Drifting is no fun.  I like to either have a goal or be anchored.  I’m a planner, after all.  The unknown isn’t something I like to embrace too much.  I suppose that’s the German in me.  We must be regimented!

How do I find my Blogging North Star?  Where is my focus supposed to be?  Why do I feel so confused when I open up my “Write Post” page?

And, most importantly, how do I STOP looking at the stats?  Because I seriously think they’re going to make me crazy.

I surely can’t be the only one who is just about DYING for this election to be over.  One way or the other.  I’ve made a habit of watching Keith Olberman and then Rachel Maddow when I’m nursing Evie to bed at night.  And while, being MSNBC, they aren’t really telling me anything that I don’t want to hear, it’s not exactly distracting me from the election.  And I find myself examining electoral maps and the latest polls and pretty much wanting to drop kick all campaign strategists, regardless of party affiliation.  And now that I’ve voted, I have even less patience for it all.  LET’S JUST GET IT OVER WITH!

But, alas, it’s a whole ‘nother week away.  And since it doesn’t appear that either campaign is willing to take a break, I need to find ways to distract myself.  Here is what I’ve come up with so far:

• I’m watching Evie do this thing with her nose where she closes her mouth (almost making “duck lips” if you will) and snorts in and out of her nose in a rapid fashion.  The end result is almost too cute to bear and if she does it again, I’m going to go beyond distracted and just eat her.
• I’m also stalking goodmama prints.  If you’re unfamiliar with cloth diapering and the community surrounding it, this probably sounds very strange.  Suffice it to say, they’re releasing some great prints this week and I’m hoping to be able to snag one.  Fingers are crossed (and websites are refreshed)!
• I’m still researching cameras.  Hmm.   Kile’s wondering if he can find someone local who has a camera that is looking to upgrade their professional rig and is interested in selling at a reasonable price.  I’m not going to hold my breath, but I am going to hope that there’s a new camera in my future!
• It’s now less than a month until the “Twilight” movie comes out!  Am still planning to go see it by myself.  Because I’m a major loser.
• I’m trying to catch up on my blog reading.  This is a never-ending project, it seems.  I am NEVER caught up.  I think I cleared the reader ONCE in the last two months.  GAH.
• (OMG, Evie just did her nose thing again.  Save me from myself.)
• We’re watching DVR’d episodes of “Blue’s Clues” and “Jack’s Big Music Show”.  Good thing I have them DVR’d, because our On Demand STILL doesn’t work with the new box we got.  SIGH.  But I think I’ve now officially seen every “Blue’s Clues” and “Jack’s Big Music Show” episode in existence.  Hey, did you know Joe’s real name is Dominick (cuz I’m a dumbass) err Donovan?  WTF?
• I’m contemplating ditching out on Trick or Treating altogether in favor of a Harvest Festival or something of the like.  Just cannot get excited either about handing out candy or dragging the kids around the neighborhood this year.  I may change my mind yet again.
• We’re planning a trip down to Elko for the second weekend in November.  Harry’s birthday is that weekend and there’s a craft day at my in-law’s church that I used to go several years ago.  It was always a lot of fun and I’m looking forward to going again.  This will probably be the only time we go back there during the “holiday season” so why not make it awesome?  Not looking forward to the price of filling up the van’s gas tank, but thank goodness gas prices are down!
• Naturally, we’re not answering our phone so we don’t have to listen to robo calls or anything.  Not like it would matter because we’ve already voted!

That should be enough to keep my mind on other things, don’t you think?  So what are you doing to distract yourself?  (I heartily endorse not answering the phone, by the way.)