I’ve made no secret that I started this blog four years ago during one of the saddest periods I’ve experienced in my life so far. 2004 became something of a dark tunnel to me and I was having a hard time finding a way out. Blogging became that way out and I’m forever grateful for that.
I went through the grief riggamarole again in August of 2005 when I miscarried. And it stung, to be sure. In some ways, the sting was a lot more bitter than that of losing Jackson. But I also had something that I didn’t have in March of 2004. I had my blog. (And a whole lot of alcohol, but let’s just stick with the blog, mmkay?) And I had a lot of lovely comments from lovely people expressing their sadness over my loss. And I had an outlet that I could pour my hurt and frustration and despair into. I’d be hestitant to say that having the blog made that whole experience “better”, but on the other hand, I would hate to have experienced it without the blog. I think it softened the blow, somewhat.
There are a lot of blogs that I have found through the “Loss Grapevine”. Bad news travels fast and hearing about someone’s heart-wrenching grief often draws crowds. And it’s very easy to find these blogs and let yourself get swept up in the unbearable sadness of their story. This is particularly dangerous if you happen to be pregnant at the time (obviously, only if the loss in question is related to pregnancy), because it’s all too easy to superimpose your circumstances onto that of the blogger. And the next thing you know, your husband is having to peel you off the floor with a spatula.
I don’t know what point I’m trying to make here. Maybe there isn’t any point. Other than the act of blogging and the community surrounding it is incredibly helpful when going through loss. And coming up on my four-year blogging anniversary, I’m more glad than ever that I started this and that I stuck with it. As unhappy as I may get sometimes, I know I would be infinitely more unhappy without this outlet.
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4 Responses to “Grieving and Blogging”
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Blogging through grief has helped me in so many situations that I look back at other struggles in my life (teen pregnancy, failed marriage, sick Mom) pre-blog and wonder how I survived. Seriously. And I often wonder if I would have been better if I had my blog because it has helped me so much.
So – Here’s to blogging and helping us through the darkness, right? ((HUGS))
I haven’t experienced a loss like you and so many others have, but I sure do feel grateful to be a part of a community that comes out in droves to support those who are suffering. It’s easy to get frustrated by haters or people who hide behind anonymity to say awful things, but at its core the Blogosphere is a place of love and support the likes of which I’ve never seen. I’m so glad to be a part of it.
I may have been forbidden from reading loss blogs over and over again, because we were running out of spatulas.
but the community…blogging..it really can be supportive and loving.
Blogging is much better for your overall mental health than alcohol. I didn’t know the back story to your blog . Congratulations on almost 4 years.
carol at A Second Cups last blog post..Blogs Worth A Click: Savings Addition