I’m just not feeling it this Christmas season. This is not unusual, of course. Christmas looses a lot of it’s magic once you’re at an adult and real life intervenes at every turn. Some years are worse than others. Of course, 2004 was like the king of Bad Christmases and hopefully won’t be topped anytime soon. There were some big extenuating circumstances on that one, though.
This year, I think the added stress has contributed to my sour outlook. It’s hard to really get into the magic when you’re fretting about money and medication and demanding children. The whole medication thing could be a reason in and of itself. My hormones are assuredly not quite kosher, if you know what I mean. Hopefully, having pills within my grasp once more will help that. And, I suspect, there might be a little good, old-fashioned depression thrown in for kicks and giggles.
The presents are purchased, the cards have been mailed, the packages are on their way… I even have wrapped a few presents and they are currently residing underneath the tree. I also found an awesome deal on Amazon.com for an awesome gift for an awesome boy last night and used an awesome giftcard I earned from MyPoints to get it. AND it’ll get here in time for Christmas too. So the bases? They are (mostly) covered. Sure, there is cleaning to be done, but there’s not much point in worrying about that until next week. Not with the slobs that inhabit this house (I include myself in that statement, by the way).
Of course, I just had a giggle reading this post by Jennifer of PANPFC (I love abbreviating that). I feel so much better, knowing that I am not the only one who a deep and abiding HATE of eggnog. The stuff makes me want to be barf. I won’t even talk about how Kile leaves his empty glass sitting around, all coated on the inside with the nasty stuff and COOKIE CRUMBS on the rim and on the inside of the glass from where he dipped the cookie in the foul crap and… (*hurl*). Okay, I need to stop before I make myself seriously ill. The point is, it’s nice to know that I’m not the only person who hates the stuff. Makes me feel a little less like a grinch.
But I watch Kile decorate the house for the holidays, and Harry get excited about presents under the tree and Liam spaz out over playing in the snow and lights on the tree and… meh. I’m just not feeling it. Even more than the year before, it’s really just feeling like “just another day”. Except that it’s just another day that I need to do a lot of crap in preparation for. Does this mean I’ll feel relief next week when it’s over? Maybe not right away, but a few days later after the dust has settled… will I feel that sweeping gratitude that I made it through another holiday? Cuz right now, I’m thinking I will.
I hope this condition is limited to this year. I would hate to have all future Christmases tainted by this feeling of doom and depression and blah. Maybe in the future, I’ll have better perspective.
