Dec 222008

Four Years of Blogging

It has been four years since I started this blog. In internet terms, that seems like an awful long time. I remember that day rather well, actually. I had been reading a few blogs and after receiving some some encouragement from a good friend, I decided to try the whole blog thing myself. I was in the darkest of dark places, that December. It was 9 months after we lost Jackson and I certainly wasn’t in the mood to be celebrating anything.

(And I need to warn anyone who goes back to look at those first posts: I was in a BAD PLACE. The worst place I’ve ever been in in my entire life, as well as the worst place I’ve ever been in since starting this blog. I was bitter. I was unhappy. And it was 100% my deal. Nothing can be blamed on Elko, my lovely in-laws or even Christmas in general.)

We had discussed before making the trip to Elko for Christmas whether or not we should just stay home and not subject people to our cheerless selves. I still wonder if we made the right choice. Kile contended (and still does) that we would have been just as unhappy at home as we would have been there so we may as well make the best of it. I think that it would have been better to protect the masses from my foul self and shut myself away. But oh well. Bygones and all that. And yes, having the newly minted blog really helped me process my bitterness. After all, once I was able to spew my bitterness onto the electronic page, I was better able to expose myself to the innocent people around me.

This year is also rough, but in comparison, it is light years easier. Kile had a good point yesterday when we were talking about this. Our problems this year are finanicial. Our problems in 2004 were emotional. This year, everything could be solved with more money. Yeah, we might not be feeling too spirited but that’s mostly because the money thing is giving us evil amounts of stress. Take away the money issue and we’d feel a lot better.

In 2004, there wasn’t anything that was going to make us feel any better. All the money in the world couldn’t have brought Jackson back to us.

In comparison, this year we have everything we ever could have wanted in 2004. I can’t forget that.

Anyhow, this is supposed to be a post about how I’ve been blogging for four years. I hope I am still blogging four years from now. Even if no one is reading anymore, I want to still be putting my words out there. For anyone that doubts the importance of blogging, I have only this to say: It has saved my life.

So thank you, blog. I owe you one.

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