Ya’ll are wonderful, really you are. I actually kinda feel bad about the last post, as though I should have turned off comments or included a disclaimer or both. I didn’t mean for it to feel desperate or anything, just contemplative. The bottom line is: those thoughts weren’t unusual for me and neither were they weighted. They’re the sort of thoughts that flit through your head while you’re taking a shower on a Christmas afternoon and coming down from a stress-high. Seriously, I limped to bed last night because I was sore all over my body. My arms and legs were a mess of cramped up muscles that ached and burned and the best reason I can come up with is that I’ve been so tense about the holidays that yesterday when the stress finally passed, I had sore, sore muscles. Owie!
I guess what I’m trying to say here is: I feel better today. Shoot, I felt better almost as soon as I had posted that. I wrote down what I’d been thinking in the shower as soon as I got out and scheduled it to post this morning so I wouldn’t have to worry about getting a post done this morning. And I felt a lot better after I had it done, because this blog is nothing if not an outlet for my emotions. Bless it for that.
I don’t doubt that I probably need to see a psychiatrist or any of that. Right now, I’m a little more than reluctant to deal with doctors after that whole thyroid fiasco. But I know it needs to be done, sooner or later. Because I know that I MUST have some form of depression. I must. I’m not naive enough to think that I don’t.
Today has been a good day though. We got out, left the house. Ventured out into the snow and got some In n’ Out Burger and hit the stores to spend some Christmas money. I got a lot of things for the kiddos, including a booster/highchair that straps onto a kitchen chair and some snow bibs for Liam (he has been DESPERATE to go play in the snow and now he can). I also got a sweater dress/tunic for myself and some wool yarn and more knitting needles to play with.
So don’t worry about me, okay? Please? If you see me start shopping around for razor blades or shotgun shells, then you can worry. But really, I promise I’m okay. We all get down now and then, and I’m no different. In the meantime, the holidays are over, and all is well once more. Let’s all breathe a sigh of relief and move on, shall we?
