You know, I have a problem updating this here blog on the weekends. And I do apologize but there just really isn’t any time to do any blog writing over the weekend. We’re always out doing something or watching a movie or something. And I’m pretty much always knitting. And you can’t knit and blog at the same time, unfortunately. Since my “to do” list for knitting is so long, it takes precedence over the blogging. Simply put: knitting pays better. Sorry ’bout that!
*cough*
Anyhow, I got to thinking this weekend, as I often do, about “an ideal world”. Of course, no such thing ever exists. But everyone, at some point or another, comes up with a set of rules for if they ruled the world. Sometimes these rules are outrageous (“Every Friday will be ‘Wear Pajamas to Work Day’!”) and some are actually good, usable ideas (“Gay marriage is legal!”).
Years ago, Kile and I were being silly and we came up with a name for our fictional country. We call it: “Canadia”. Not to be confused with Canada. Nope. TOTALLY DIFFERENT. The capital (and so far only) city? Quicherbichen. And Quicherbichen, Canadia is a truly supreme place to be. Oh yes. First off: invitation only. At least to begin with. We need to make sure no douche bags can get into our utopia, after all. Also: it’s up to me who is a douche bag and who is not. But I promise you, my judgments are sound and fair.
Coming up with laws for Quicherbichen is fun and something I like to do when I’m feeling frustrated about something or when I’m knitting or taking a shower or trying to sleep in the middle of the night. It’s a great procrastination activity. And I’m here today to share some of these laws with you. And you’ll see that Quicherbichen is TRULY a Utopian society.
- Gay marriage is legal! Yep, you knew that was coming.
- “Caillou” will be illegal, except for as a form of punishment for those in jail.
- Anyone going 50 miles per hour (or less!) on the interstate will be thrown in jail and forced to watch “Caillou”.
- There is a potty training boot camp. You send your 2-3 year old children there every day for about 4 hours until they’re trained. Voila! (this is a GREAT idea, isn’t it??)
- Health Care for all! Yep, again, you saw this coming. The last thing we should have to worry about in a perfect world is getting denied coverage for a pre-existing condition. Can I get an amen?
- Everyone takes a nap after lunch. Kids, adults, whatever. This is just accepted as the Way It Is.
- All children sleep through the night and take marvelous naps and eat all their meals without throwing food on the floor and laughing as the dogs eat it.
- There’s something good to watch on TV every night. And there’s no such thing as hiatus’. Or commercials. Unless you want commercials and then you just watch the Commercial Channel.
- Everyone has a Macbook and uses Firefox (that does not crash on the Macbook) and loves it.
- Everyone drives hybrid vehicles, uses compact fluorescent lightbulbs, recycles their paper, plastic and glass every Wednesday and turns off the faucet while they brush their teeth.
I think you get the idea. Doesn’t this sound like an AWESOME place? Of course it does! Utopia is, by definition, AWESOME.
So what are your “laws” for your perfect society? Care to add to my list?
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- All husbands realize that they’re fortunate to have wives and try to bring romance into the relationship on a routine basis.
- All wives realize that they’re fortunate to have husbands and deal with buying beer/watching sports/wrestling/women oogling without complaining.
- Wednesday is always free chocolate day. (where anything chocolate is free)
Randi´s last blog ..Burrowed Right In There
You MUST park your car in the middle of the parking spot. No exceptions. If you do not, you will be forced to go to “driving boot camp” where you will learn the art of the perfect parking job. If you fail boot camp, you will be sent to jail and forced to watch Barney and Caillou.
Stupid law suits (I spilled my coffee and it’s hot and now I’m gonna sue you) will not be allowed.
People who use Rachael Ray’s abbreviations for things (EVOO, sammies…) will be evicted.
I hope that I would qualify to move to Quicherbichen, Canadia. It sounds like my type of place!
The only addition I can think of for the by-laws is:
-there is no penalty for moving someone’s vehicle if they have the nerve to leave it idling in front of the grocery store/dry cleaner/coffee shop
At *least* one year maternity leave… And subsidized, *safe* daycare for working families.
I thought of another one:
Women will be nicer to each other! When we see another lady who has awesome shoes, pretty hair, great clothes, nice attitude we will tell her instead of deciding that she’s fake (no one real looks that nice or whatever) and not giving her a chance. No more judgements of each other as mothers – just because we make different decisions that doesn’t make some one else wrong (or bad).
Nobody uses the ‘reply all’ function.
Also, your favorite jeans are never dirty. And, your hair is always AWESOME.