I’m feeling awful warm and snuggly about my kids these days.  Yes, they drive me to the brink of sanity DAILY, but that doesn’t mean I don’t love ‘em more than my luggage.

Liam has been talking more and more and the things that come out of his mouth just charm me again and again.   He may be an ornery turd on many occasions, but you can’t deny that he’s cute.  And when he’s requesting his third viewing of “Cars” that day… well that’s kinda cute too.  And so is the little dark look and stomped foot when I say, “No way, Jose.”  With his newfound vocabulary, we’re having a much easier time getting our requests, demands and reprimands through to him.  Sure, he doesn’t listen 100% of the time (what kid does?), but to see him actually DO something we tell him to?  Well that’s just plain awesome.

The other day, he had a little pan of cereal, much like the one pictured above.  He loves me to put his cereal for breakfast into one of the bowls or pots that came with the play kitchen he and Evie got for Christmas.  He had it over on the “counter” in the play kitchen and was having himself a little feast.  Evie determined that someone was eating something and since she is all “FOODNOMNOMNOM” these days, she booked over there to share in the fun.  Liam’s instinct was to push her aside and thwap her on the head.  I reprimanded him and then, not hoping for much, asked very nicely if he could share a little with her.. let her have a little too?  At best, I figured he might portion out a few kernels of cereal in front of her and keep the rest to himself.   But, bless his heart, he passed over the whole pan full and let her have her fill.

Of course, then she up-ended it all over the floor.  But seriously, for a minute there, I thought my heart was going to burst from pride.

He’s been doing that more and more lately.  Listening to requests of mine and acting on them.  And I’ve been very sure to praise him heavily every time he does something kind to his sister or does something for me when I ask him to.  So far, he seems to really like the praise.  So I’m hoping this means we’ll see a lot more of this “Nice Liam” in the future.

They still don’t play that great together, but it’s coming, little by little.  Right now, they’re both sitting on the couch (sans cushions because that’s the only way Evie can climb on it is when the cushions are removed), eating some graham crackers for snack and watching “The Backyardigans”.  Evie will kick her feet and Liam will do the same and much giggling ensues.  Moments like these are golden.  They are golden because they are RARE.  More often than not, Evie has grabbed one of Liam’s cars that he has lined up so dutifully on the back of the couch (see above photo) and this earns her a shove and a thwack on the head.  She cries, I yell at Liam, lather, rinse, repeat.  So I make sure I enjoy the golden moments that much more.

Evie is knocking on the door of 15 months and is growing up before my very eyes.  She is WALKING.  Did I mention that?  In the last week or so, she has gone from cruising around furniture, to taking a step or two here and there when she thinks no one is watching to flat out walking across the floor.  Is her technique flawless?  Oh heck no. It’s a good thing this girl is cloth diapered because otherwise her rump would be black and blue from all the times she has plopped down on it.  But seriously.  WALKING.  God help us all.

She’s also getting better with the sippy cup.  Just today, in fact, I gave her some water with a splash of apple juice in it and she has downed that sucker.  This is amazing progress.  Now if I can get her drinking milk reliably out of a sippy cup, maybe she’ll decide to wean.

That’s a slippery slope right there.  Weaning.  I’ve never nursed for this long before and I think it’s actually pretty awesome.  I’m loathe to shut the door on our nursing relationship because it will also be shutting the door on nursing altogether.  At the same time, I know it’s natural for her to grow up and away from me as a source of nutrition.  And the nursing has been taking a toll on me health-wise because DUH, I am The Lame when it comes to things like taking vitamins and making sure I keep myself healthy.  But I don’t really want it to end.  At the same time I know that it has to.

*cough* Anyhow.  Where was I?

Oh yes.  My little girl.  With her wispy-curly hair (Fuzzhead, I often call her).   And her dimpled grins.  And her tendancy to turn really, really cranky if she’s not fed on time.  This girl loves FOOD.  She will eat ANYTHING.  And a lot of it while she’s at it.  She’s Liam’s polar opposite in the eating department, which is kind of a breath of fresh air.  In fact, if anything, she’s liable to steal your food from you.  I guess if she flashes that dimple at you while she does it, that makes it okay.

Okay, well Liam is trying to sit on Evie and she’s rubbing her eyes and acting tired (a whole two and a half hours EARLY!) so I guess the golden moment is over.  Time to return to reality.  Thanks for joining me on this rose-colored love-fest though!

Evie is just darling.  Are ya all sick of me saying that yet?  But lord in heaven, it’s true.

Having a girl is so different from having a boy.  And I know this isn’t generally true.  Believe me, I do.  But I do know that Evie’s temperment is much much different than either of the boys. Her reactions to things is different.  The way she relates with us is different.  And after many years of boys, it’s kind of a nice change.  And not that I don’t still appreciate the way I relate with my boys.  But it’s just different.  Can I say different again?  DIFFERENT.

She’s very sensitive to chaotic situations.  Liam LOVES to take advantage of this.  If he suspects that Evie is playing too calmly and quietly by herself, he will go out of his way and thwack her on the head or knock her down or take whatever toy she’s playing with.  Just so he can hear her cry.  Her abject misery is a delight to him.  And, frankly, sometimes I think he finds her reactions so charming because he just doesn’t understand them at all.  Because she is 100% different than he is.   Pissing Evie off is one of Liam’s chief pastimes.

And sometimes Evie will dissolve and no one will know quite why.  She’ll be playing contentedly and then the next thing we know, she’s in tears.

The poor dear.  But you gotta admit.  It’s kind of cute.  She has completely stereotypical crying fits too.  Complete with the rubbing eyes and heaving chest and hiccups afterward.  It all just makes me want to nom on her even more.  Because OMG, baby is so DELICIOUS!

Not that my boys don’t cry.  But it’s different.  Liam, when in a temper fit (which his temper fits are completely adorable because he is wee and hard to take serious), he tends to wail as loud as possible and throw himself on the ground.  He might even add a stomp for good measure.  Harry will curl in a ball and/or remove himself entirely from your presence.  Evie?  She becomes utterly woebegone.  She knows exactly how to trigger your sympathy reflex so you’ll drop your camera and run over to scoop her up and kiss her forehead while she heaves shakey sighs.

OMG, I love that girl.

Dear Evelyn, (also known as my ONE YEAR OLD DAUGHTER. GAH.)

You may recall (or not) that your first birthday was on Friday.  This was largely the reason we went to visit Elko last weekend.  The prospect of celebrating such a huge milestone in not only your life but in ours as well here alone at home with just a store-bought cake between the lot of us was just plain depressing.  You know, because we have no friends.

I think it’s the leprosy.

Anyhow.

We emerged from the cozy cocoon of our abode and ventured forth to a foreign land (Elko) to break bread with our family there and I’m so glad we did.  Not only was it nice to see and hang out with everyone there, it was nice to get away from home and the rigors of daily life (otherwise known as your brother Liam… not that he wasn’t there but that dealing with him in a new environment was… refreshing).

You were darned cute in your birthday outfit that I worked so hard to scrape together.  Though I wager you could have worn a paper sack and been just as adorable.  I think it’s that dimple in your cheek.  It makes you instantly edible.  You were the center of attention and not jut because it was your birthday (though I’m sure that helped), but because you just flourished under the attention.  You would play shy, covering your eyes with your fists or turning into my shoulder, but it wouldn’t be long before you would flash your dimple and smile with your pearly white teeth and hearts were broken all over.

You had a great time at your party.  You got to eat pizza for the first time and it was a huge hit.  Though we do have to work on either a) me cutting you smaller pieces or b) you actually chewing and swallowing one piece at a time or c) both because you also had a great time gagging on the pizza and giving your poor mother a heart attack.

Yet again you enjoyed being the absolute center of attention and enjoyed everyone’s reactions more than you enjoyed your first taste of chocolate cake.  I think this can’t possibly bode well for us in the future.  I am thinking I should enjoy your rather silent nature now, while it lasts.  Though you’re not entirely silent.  You are saying a few words, FAR sooner than either of the boys.  It all started with “pretty” and has expanded steadily since.  What can I say?  You’re a smart girl.

You have a great appetite, which is a refreshing change after Liam.  In fact, there are times I have to remind myself to let you try something new instead of writing if off like I have gotten used to with him.  Food you love: cheese puffs (the Gerber variety), graham crackers, McDonald’s apple pie, belgian waffles and yogurt melts.  Though, honestly, you’ll pretty much try everything.  Now if only we could convince you to try to drink out of a cup!  Right now, anything plastic is strictly verboten.  I’m hoping this will change soon.  Not that I am especially looking forwad to when you wean, but that it would be nice to have other options for getting liquid in your body.

You finally got some toys that are YOURS for your birthday.  Most of them are obnoxiously pink/girly, in hopes that this will encourage Liam to leave them alone and let you play with them.  So far, it’s not working.  He’s a huge fan of your stroller/walker and often sets his dolphin and cup in it to take them for a spin.  But on the occasions that your naps do not overlap too much, I make sure you have a good opportunity to play around on the floor with ALL the toys, not just the ones that are specifically yours.  And I rest assured in the knowledge that some day you will be as big or bigger than Liam is and will be able to stand up for yourself a little better.  At least, I hope so.  Don’t be a doormat, my love.  Don’t let that bully walk all over you.  From what I’ve seen of your spirit so far, I don’t think I need to worry.

You do tend towards dramatics from time to time, when the boys would not.  But so far, you generally always have a good reason for melting down; tired, hungry, smacked in the head by your jerk of a brother, etc.  For the most part though, you are very easy going and I never worry about taking you somewhere with me.  You did very well in Elko and while you would not stay in your pack n’ play all night, you don’t stay in your crib all night here either so I wasn’t expecting that.  You would nap there quite happily though and never seemed nervous or scared of the new and different surroundings.  I’m thinking this trait will come in handy this summer when we travel to Florida.  I’m already breaking out in hives just thinking about it.

All that said, I still can’t believe how lucky I am to have you.  I always knew I wanted a daughter but I never knew just how special and wonderful it could be to have a girl in my life.  I’m really looking forward to the years ahead and what new things you will learn and do.  I hope we can always be close.  I hope you don’t hate me too much when you get to be a teenager.

Happy Birthday, sweet girl.  You are precious to me.

Love, Mama

Today is the day I’ve been dreading since I first found out I was pregnant back in August of 2007.  Evie turns one year old today (one minute ago, to be exact, at 12:29pm).  She’s no longer an infant.  She’s growing up before my very eyes and today is just a physical celebration of that.

Celebration?  That seems like a strange word to use about a day that I have wanted to deny.  It’s not that I don’t want her to have a happy birthday or that I don’t want to watch her grow and learn new things.  It’s just that she is my last.  My baby.  No more babies after her.  And I will no longer have a newborn baby to cradle.  That, to me, is very sad.

But I don’t want to focus on that today.  Being out of town, visiting the in laws in Elko, helps.  It’s distracting and that’s what I need so that I don’t get too melancholy.

She is getting so big and doing so many new things all the time.  She won’t walk, but she’s playing around with pulling up (she grabs onto something with her hands and then “hangs” there, unsure what to do with her legs).  She doesn’t crawl but she commandos and will sometimes get up on her knees and rock back and forth.  She doesn’t speak but she has words… something that amazes us since neither of the boys ever said a word before their first birthdays.  She still nurses several times a day (and night!) and won’t have a thing to do with bottles or sippy cups.  But she has a wonderful appetiete and eats anything and everything she can get her hands on.  Table food is awesome, in her book!

She’s prone to crying if she feels she has been wronged, most often via Liam.  And it doesn’t matter if it’s an accident (Liam tripping over her on his way across the room) or on purpose (slapping her on the head when he’s feeling angstful), she will crumble in a pile of sobs and tears.  She also has a big smile and a happy temprament.  She wakes up in the morning with a big smile on her face.  She takes wonderful naps and is happy to go to bed at night (if only she would stay there!).  She loves her family and friends but has a special fondness for her mama.   I’m hoping she’ll be a mama’s girl for years to come.

She completes our family.  It’s been a crazy year and this next year promises only to be even crazier.  But I couldn’t imagine our lives without her in it.  Yes, I’m sad not to be having any more babies.  But I’m so happy that my baby is her.

Happy Bithday, Evelyn!  Mama loves you SO much!

Evie turns one in a week.  One week.  One.  Pardon me while I go freak out for a minute.

How has one year passed by so damn quickly?  I’ve been dreading this birthday since I found out I was pregnant.  Since I found out I was carrying a girl.  Since she was born and I heard her lusty, vibrant cry.

She’s my last and while it’s never very easy to see your baby turn one year old, it’s even harder when you know you’ll never again have a little infant in your arms.

…

Okay, I can’t continue down that same train of thought or I’ll end up sitting in the corner, rocking myself and sucking my thumb.

The point is, the Big Birthday is coming up.  We’re going to Elko sometime this next week and will do the party there with members of Kile’s family.  I’m trying to distract myself with the minutae of the trip and party in order to not focus too heavily on the significance.

God, I love that little girl.

It hurts to acknowledge she’s growing up and away from me.

So, anyhow.  That’s what I’m thinking about this fine Friday night as I suck down a cold Hornsby’s, watch LaBamba on OnDemand, knit yet another pair of shorts and cruise my favorite message board for the latest gossip and jibber jabber.

Happy weekend, ya’ll.