It’s Harrison’s birthday today. He turns 10.  I’m not entirely sure how I feel about this.  I mean, on the one hand, he’s officially a “tween” now and that sorta scares the pants off me because “tween” is right next door to “teen” and I’m DEFINITELY not ready for that.  On the other hand, I like to see him growing out of little boy-hood and into bigger boy-hood.  He’s into different things, more responsible, more independent and in certain cases, more helpful.

Still, I’m having a hard time believing that it was 10 years ago that he came into our lives.  It feels much more recent than that.  He turned our lives upside down, and in a very good way.  We haven’t been the same since, and I’m so grateful for that.  I think back on the years when it was just us and him and while those years were marked with grief and a deep desire to add to our family, those were also wonderful years spent as a close family.  We went everywhere and did everything together.  He was such an easy kid, we could take him with us anywhere we went without much fuss.  During the day, I never thought anything of taking him with me the store and around town and to doctor appointments.  He was my little side-kick.

I miss those days now.  Now he’s less interested in spending time with me.  He comes home, does his homework, and is outside riding his bike or playing with the boys up the street.  It’s more and more challenging to find things to connect with him on.  But I’ve done my best, opening the world of “High School Musical” to him, and talking about important subjects like music and movies and all that.

Ten years.  Double digits.  This is huge.  I’m so proud of him, every day, for what a great kid he’s growing up to be.  We expect a lot from him, and hold his feet to the fire on a lot of things, but it’s only because we know he’s capable of it.  And as sad as I am that the little boy is no longer here, I am excited to see what sort of man he grows up to be.

First, a clarification on my “Tough Job” post.  There were a few comments that said, “Hey, I get all happy and bake cookies sometimes!”  So yeah, I didn’t mean to cast dispersions on cookie baking.  We all do that from time to time.  Yes, even ME.  There are days that you feel all warm and snugly and content and domestic.  For sure!  No way would any of us stick with this if we didn’t, right?  What I was talking about were the people who pretend like they never have a negative thought about being a stay at home mom (perish the thought and a pox upon you for feeling that way!).  These are the ones who, regardless if they honestly feel that way all the time or not, make those of us who definitely do NOT feel that way all the time like a pile of crap.  And it’s not to say that they want to make other mom’s feel like a pile of crap.  That could be the furthest thing from their minds.   As for those who DO want to make other moms feel like a pile of crap?  There’s a special spot in Hell for them.

Basically the way I feel is: staying at home with children is back breaking, soul crushing, mind numbing work.  There is no vacation, no break, no weekend and no sick days.  There’s just more of the same, day in and day out.  And all the trays of cookies in the world couldn’t change that.  We all look for the positive in things because we have to.  We don’t dwell on the awfulness because if we did, we’d go crazy.  But it’s there.  It’s always there.

Of course, warm hugs from snuggly children sure help too.

It’s also quite possible that people who are overly perky all the time make me want to slam my head in the door.   You know that old saying where if you don’t have anything nice to say, you best say nothing at all?  I think the opposite can be true.  If all you want to do is spout happiness and unicorns, then maybe just try to limit it a touch for those of us who didn’t get our daily rationing of coffee that morning.

Just sayin’.

In other news: I’m watching “Cars” for perhaps the 38th time this month.  It makes Liam mellow, which this morning was a neccesity.  He was starting to go thermonuclear.  I just want to pause for a moment and praise the dudes at Pixar for making visual crack for our children that DOESN’T make my brain bleed.

And in other, other news: Facebook is freakin’ addictive.  And I don’t even play games on there because most of the games are lame-o.  Yes, even that game that you love.  TRUST ME.  But I am addicted (just a little bit) to some of the quizzes and such.  And I love checking my friends’ and family’s statuses.  Facebook is FUN.  It is also a TIME SUCK.

In other, other, other news:  I love my iPhone.  I know you’re all sick to death of hearing me say that but I just saw those of you out there in the audience who have one too nod your heads knowingly.  It is quite simply the best thing I’ve ever owned.  I am forever amazed and thrilled with all the things it can do.  There’s a lot of stuff in my life that I would give up before I ever gave up my iPhone.

Okay.  I think I’m done.  With all that off my chest now, I’m going to share a cute little video of my girl discovering just how bouncy the couch is when it is removed of it’s cushions.

So… I think I need you all to help me out here.  How many of you have been to Disney World?  On the Disney Cruise?  BOTH?  Can ya help me out?  Because we’re going on one of these fantabulous Land/Sea Vacations later this summer and I’m, quite frankly, freaked out about it.  Partially because I have become a hermit and am uncomfortable leaving the confines of my own cozy abode and partially because it’s Disney and everything is SO. VERY. MAGICAL.  You will have fun or you WILL DIE, damnit!

That’s a lot of pressure.

Firstly, I’m worried about the plane trip.  I still don’t know which airline we’re taking, though I’m leaning towards Southwest.  But I do know that I will have to get myself, my husband and three kids through security and on a cross country trip that will take the better part of a day AND our sanity.  Oh, and we’re planning to come in the day before and spend the night at the timeshare my parents are staying at so we’re there for the park the next day from the word go.

Any tips for flying with children?  One who is nine (going on TEN, so help me God), one who will be a newly minted THREE (again with the help) and a 16 month old.   We’re planning on bringing on car seats for the two little ones.  Good plan?  What do I need to bring, entertainment wise?  How much alcohol do you think it will take to dull the pain?

The next issue is strollers.  I think I’ve narrowed it down to two choices.  We will either a) bring something with us which means we’ll have to BUY something as our double stroller is definitely not the sort you want to travel with, but bringing it would mean we’d have it in the airport or b) rent one from an Orlando stroller rental company that delivers to your hotel for you so it’s there when you arrive.  While it would be nice to have a stroller in the airport, we would also have to deal with it on the cruise and I’m not sure how I feel about that.  Is having a stroller on a Disney Cruise a pain in the arse?  Plus, you know, we’d have to buy something.  The stroller I’d really like to have (coincidentally, the same one the stroller rental company provides) is muy expensive and way out of our league.  We’ve talked about a fold up wagon with umbrella but that would be neither comfortable for the kids if they wanted to nap in the park(s) or easy to get on and off transportation.  A cheapo side-by-side double?  Are there any cheapos that recline?  OY.

You can see why it’s an issue.

Also: Dining.  What to do?   Do we get the Disney Dining Plan which allows us to eat pretty much at will for the duration of our stay in the park?  CAN we get it, since our room is already booked and it seems to be tied to your room rate?   Or do we just save up our clams and expect to pay out the arse for food?  My mom thinks we should buy peanut butter and jelly and make sandwiches in our room.   Not a bad idea but I am not going to subsist on peanut butter and jelly for THREE DAYS.  I don’t care what it costs.  This IS a vacation, after all.  I need information about this.  What have other people done?  What has worked?  What hasn’t?

If that weren’t enough:  the heat. Who planned this thing for AUGUST, for pity’s sake?  I will surely melt.  What is central Florida like in August?  Give it to me with both barrels, folks.  I can take it.  What do I need to do to ensure we don’t all die of heat stroke?

I find I’m less concerned about the cruise (though that has its own set of issues including the fact that Liam cannot go to the children’s activities because while he will be three, he will not be potty trained and therefore is stuck with us which means we are stuck with HIM and that severely limits our fun quotient).  At least there will be air conditioning on the cruise.  And the food will be included.  So there’s that.

What do I need to know?  I need your help, oh wise internets!  Give me your experiences and tell me what I should (and should NOT) do/bring/think/say/expect, etc.

I’m scared.

I’m a tad annoyed this evening. The children, for the most part, were atrocious this evening. Harry included. So when it came time to put the wee ones to bed, Kile suggested that Harry go to bed too. Sounded good to me!

I come downstairs from getting Evie to bed andfind Harry watching TV. I remind him he was supposed to go to bed. But he wanted to watch a show! I had him DVR it and sent him packing. Kile came downstairs a while later from playing computer games and we got on with our evening.

When we came to bed, a short while ago, I saw the overhead light was on. Harry is pretty much the only one who turnson the overhead in our room. I tried to think why’ve would have come in here. That’s when I noticed the remote control had been moved. I stormed about how Harry is so disrespectful, especially to me, these days.

This was when Kile admitted that be told Harry he could watch TV.

That’s when my head exploded into a thousand pieces. The end.

Seriously, though. Way to undermine my influence there, dearest. No wonder the child doesn’t listen to a thing I say (Liam either, for that matter). He always goes to Kile if he doesn’t like my answer. Always.

Well, I’m sick of it. I don’t know what else to do other than just stop trying. I’ll just let Kile deal with all this crap from now on. The only thing is that guess who gets to deal with the aftermath the most, day in and day out?

Gah!!!

In lieu of a more pithy post today, I am going to share a little video I took yesterday on my (new and fabulous) camera of Harry playing Rock Band 2.  I’d like to say he’s done more on his break from school than that but… not really.  Oh well, at least the constant playing is having a positive effect on his ability.  He played this on “Expert” (which, to those of you who are familiar with Rock Band, it’s as hard as it gets):

It’s not flawless, of course. Because he IS human (and only nine). But this is much better than I would do on the same song (which is miss each and every note on EASY… guitar is not my forte) (neither is drums, come to think of it). Anyhow, just wanted to send out mad props to my man Harry for his tubular Rock Band skillz. Rock on, little man!