(To all of my Republican friends: you’re not going to like this post. Warning you now. I still lurve ya, but you might not lurve me after you read this. If you read this.)
It’s been a rough eight years. Back in 2000, I was still pretty young and idealistic. I was coming off of eight years of Bill Clinton, after all, and was in my mid-twenties and had no reason to believe that what I wanted to happen in politics wouldn’t actually happen. I mean, what kind of threat to Al Gore (who had been vice president for eight years already) was George Bush Junior? SERIOUSLY? It wasn’t a question to me. I had faith. I took my baby (not quite a year old, but only just barely) with me that rainy Tuesday morning and voted. Easy peasy.
And then… Al Gore lost. Of course, it did happen that quickly. It was more like ripping a bandaid off one hair at a time. And with that horrifying experience, I started to lose faith in the system. Because, obviously, the system was NOT infallible. And people are prone to error and problems and mistakes… It was a learning experience, that’s for sure. I grew up a little during all that.
Still, I think I had more faith in the system and my fellow voters than I probably should have. Yes, I went into the 2004 election completely expecting Kerry to win. Looking back, I wonder how I could have possibly thought that, but I did. I just couldn’t believe for an instant that anyone would want another four years of Bush. To me, it was obvious. I thought it was obvoius to everyone else too. I was wrong.
I felt very disillusioned after that election. The next day was practically a day of mourning. I distanced myself from it all becuase what was the point? What I wanted didn’t ever seem to amount to a hill of beans and no matter how many bumper stickers I put on my car, no matter how many rallys I went to, nothing seemed to ever make a difference.
When the election started with primary season this year, I guess I still felt cynical. People would ask me who I was rooting/voting for, Hillary or Obama. I always had a non-commital answer. Often I would say Hillary but that if it was Obama that was fine with me. I would just vote for whichever one got the nomination. I can’t say I ever felt very excited about any of it. And I wanted to think that it was because of “unity” and wanting to see a Democrat (any Democrat!) in office for a change, but… I was jaded. I didn’t care and I didn’t want to care. I didn’t want heartbreak yet again. I didn’t want to leave myself open to disappointment.
But with the DNC this week, I have started to feel the stirrings of hope again. It hurts almost, as if exposing a raw wound to the open air. I haven’t watched all of the inspiring speeches that have taken place this week. I caught a few. Beau Biden made me cry. Obama made me… hope.
Just for a moment, I could see past all the damage of the last years and see a pathway out. It seemed, dare I say it, possible. Maybe, just MAYBE, my fellow voter wouldn’t let me down again. That we could finally stand together again and do something good for our country. I’m so nervous that we’ll drop the ball. McCain doesn’t worry me. His new pick as VP (Palin, the governor from Alaska) doesn’t worry me. But my fellow voters do worry me. All the Hillary Clinton supporters who stubbornly refuse to vote for Obama simply because they’re annoyed their gal didn’t get the nomination just drive me crazy. That makes absolutely no sense to me and is about the most selfish thing I’ve ever heard of.
Don’t even get me started on the Republicans and the ridiculous lies that circulate about Obama.
I want to say that Obama is the obvious choice. I want to say that I believe he will be President. I don’t want to be disappointed again. I want to hope.
