Pregnant?

So, we’ve got like fractions of days left here.  According to my handy countdown in the sidebar, that translates to THREE DAYS.  Which means I have TWO DAYS until my mother in law comes.  I’d like to have some things done before she gets here, even though everyone keeps telling me not to stress it.  But shoot, the poor lady should at least have clean sheets on her bed, right?  This is not an unreasonable expectation, right?  Tell me if I’m wrong.

I have an insane To Do List that keeps growing and growing… But I keep having darned back spasms which render me limp as a jellyfish and aren’t conducive at all to getting chores done.  Plus, you know, I’m big as a house and exhausted and sore…

The nursery… is not done.  But it’s close.  We need to paint that other coat yet, but the wallpaper border got put up at least and it looks awesome.  After the paint is done, the window valance goes up and the furniture gets put back in place.  Hooray!

I feel very much at odds, today. I’m restless and tired and excited and… well, you get the idea.  There is so much to do and no time to do it in.  Yet I want to just go ahead and have this baby already. I’m a contradiction in terms.

There’s so much to talk to you guys about.  I have about a million topics buzzing around in my brain.  But right now all I can focus on is a) the fact that my feed reader is backed up YET AGAIN and I’m so behind in my blog reading and b) it’s nap time and I want to go kiss the sky a little bit.

So until I’m able to return, clear out some of these blogs from the reader and pull myself back together, I’ll have to leave you with this picture I took of Beetoe last night.  She’s wearing a onesie.  18 month size, to be precise.

^{This is what I do when I’m nesting, apparently.}

Just like we all I knew I would, I went to my appointment today.  Cuz I’m a good little robot that way.  No, I just vowed to give that one lady the evil eye if she was there (she was not).  That made me feel better about it, at least.  That and I could hear the baby’s heartbeat which is just a win-win.

So again, I got myself and the boys all ready and rounded up.  Again, I headed out on the highway (today I HAD to stop for gas because it takes about a half gallon to get anywhere out here in the sticks).  Again, I picked up Kile at work and again, we drove downtown to the doctor’s office.  But I knew fate had to be on our side today because we were able to find a parking spot on level 2 right near the elevators!  And the way this place is set up, we wouldn’t have to take a parking garage elevator at all because you can just walk over from the second floor on an elevated walkway and enter the building from there.  Bonus!

The sweet parking spot put me in a pretty good mood. The office was packed when we got there so we had to wait a little bit.  But when it was (eventually) called back, I got some good news in the form of the weigh in.  No weight gain!  WOOT!  That makes a whole month without gain and only 22 lbs to date.  So YAY me.  I did my pee thing (which, by the way, I am a TOTAL pro at) and then went back to the NST room where my darling family awaited me.  Yes, we all cram in that tiny little room and make snarky remarks about each other for a good 30-50 minutes.  It’s good times all around, people, don’t knock it till you try it.  Evie was her usual extremely cooperative self for the NST and even kicked the nurse as she was trying to get the monitors hooked up.  It was great listening to her heartbeat and with all of us there, it really felt like all of us together as a family.  As corny as that might sound.

The extra, EXTRA good news?  I didn’t have to have an internal exam.  WOO HOO!  Dodged that bullet altogether, didn’t I?  There should be some sort of award for that, I’m sure.  I asked the doctor about measuring my belly but she said she didn’t think it was necessary.  My u/s at 35 weeks showed her right on target and she figures that’s more accurate than her measurements anyhow.   I also asked some questions about getting a tubal.  She said that during the c-section they cut both tubes and then tie them off.  I know that’s not as good as burning the tubes, but she says this is the most common way of doing it.  She did mention the ectopic risk and when I told her we were thinking of getting a vasectomy for Kile to “double up” she laughed.  So I went ahead and signed the tubal consent form and she told me that I had up until I was on the table to change my mind.  But for now, all systems are GO.  Time to sterilize Marilyn!

Afterward, we were all feeling a mite peckish so we decided to have lunch at the university before sending Kile back to work.  And we had another stroke of brilliant parking luck.  We found a FREE spot right outside the dining hall!  We had a nice lunch and Liam was even able to score some chocolate milk which pleased him endlessly.   After that? It was time to head home and naps all around!  (Well, for me and Liam.  Harry played Wii.)

I have another NST scheduled for Wednesday that I don’t HAVE to go to.  My doctor said it was up to me.  I’ll probably go, but it’s nice to know that if I feel her moving around a lot and things are busy (as they are likely to be the day before a BABY IS BORN) that I can just cancel it and avoid the rigmarole.

Oooh, housekeeping note!

My comments were a little jacked yesterday and earlier today.  I’m pretty sure this has something to do with all my reinstalling and whatnot.  BUT, the good news is that I think I’ve got it all fixed.  So feel free to comment away!

ONE. WEEK.  One week from today we’ll be harping at Harry to finish getting ready for school and, for the love of all that’s holy, eat his breakfast already.  One week from today we will be going through my suitcase one last time, making sure I have chewing gum and my camera packed.  One week from today I’ll be getting lots of last minute loving in on Liam, showering him with hugs and kisses and trying to memorize everything about him that I’ll miss over the next four days.  One week from today we’ll be saying our goodbye’s to Harry as he gets on the school bus for the day, telling him to have fun on his field trip that day and that we’ll see him this evening when his grandparents bring him by the hospital to visit.  One week from today I’ll be watching everyone else eat breakfast and drink their coffee and tea and try to ignore the rumbling in my stomach.  One week from today, I imagine I’ll be more excited than I can handle and more than a little nervous too.

I can’t believe that it’s only one week now.  One week until The Great C-Section.   The C-Section To End All C-Sections.  The day we will meet Evelyn, the last of our children, but not the least.  Oh my dear heart, I don’t think I can take it.

So in the meantime, I’m going to try to distract myself as best as I can.  Join me, will you?

Yesterday thankfully improved, as I figured it probably would.  I took a nap after we had lunch and it’s amazing how good those naps make me feel.  And yes, I did start to realize that I would of course be going to this appointment on Friday, reluctant and annoyed as I am.  And I still am annoyed.  VERY.  But… gotta do what I gotta do, right?

After my nap, I saw this comment and it just literally made my day. I was so tickled that someone from BabyCenter had read my blog and even moreso that they were defending the whole fruit-comparison thing.  I watched the slideshow and it was interesting and almost made the whole fruit thing even MORE absurd.  But I could definitely appreciate the sentiment behind it.  Shoot, goofy as some of the fruit comparisons are, I always look for that first in my weekly development emails.  I have to see what fruit this week will bring.  We also had McDonald’s for dinner, which always makes things feel a little better somehow (yes, even though it’s McDonald’s).  I think it’s the special sauce on the Big Mac that does it.  And then I saw that P-Dub had updated her love story on her blog and nothing could make me feel more giddy than that.  Except perhaps this.  And, it should be noted, I was almost as excited to read that filming has begun on “Half-Blood Prince” than I was to learn that “Deathly Hallows” was going to be a two-parter.  It makes sense, really.  That book is far too long and far too awesome to butcher to pieces.  Am already way psyched for 2010.  To top it off, “Big Brother 9? last night delivered the awesomeness of returning James to the house.  I like James, probably more than anyone in the house (perhaps Chelseia aside), because he’s real and the rest of them are a bunch of ego-maniac nut-jobs.  I’m hoping he wins HoH.  (Don’t spoil me if you already know!)

So after a turdy begin to my day, I have to say it ended up rather pleasantly.  That’s about as much as I could ask for, right?

OMG.  ONE. WEEK.

Okay, I’m home from my “NST” and let me tell you, I’m about ready to murder someone.  This isn’t an easy week to be doing these appointments.  Harry is home on spring break, I’m not feeling good, Kile is BEYOND busy at work… but whatever.  We made it work this morning.  I picked up Kile and we all schlepped over to the doctor’s office.  Only to find out once we got there that my doctor was out today.  Now, I’m thinking, BIG DEAL.  When I was pregnant with Liam, she was with a different practice but I think she was there for maybe one or two of Liam’s NST’s.  The whole thing is mostly done by a nurse anyhow and a doctor just checks in at the end and makes sure everything looks good.  Doesn’t have to be YOUR doctor, just any doctor will do.  I can even remember one time we showed up only to find out my appointment had been an hour earlier.  But never fear, they just sent me over to the hospital to have it done there.  But today? With THESE people?  Oh no.  That wasn’t going to work.  Can you come back tomorrow?  “No,” I muttered through gritted teeth.  Friday?  “Not good either.”  Well, it’s important that you get monitored, I don’t think your doctor would like you going so long without your NST.  YA THINK??

In the end, they rescheduled me for Friday morning at 10 am.  I took the appointment card with my teeth still gritted and the lot of us trooped out of the office and all the way back to the van.  And that’s when the tears started.  They haven’t stopped yet.  I’m SO ANGRY.  I don’t want to go in on Friday.  I told Kile that I wasn’t going to go.  He said I had to.  I said that I didn’t.  I’m mad.  I’m so mad that I can’t even remember the last time I’ve been this mad.

Let’s look at some facts, shall we?  I’m in my third trimester here.  I’m a big ol’ walking hormone.  I’m probably about as unstable as it gets, emotional-wise. I’m also a planner.  I don’t like surprises.  So you take a hormonal, pregnant, planner and you change things up on her?  NOT GOING TO GO WELL.  It just completely goes against my nature.  It’s like asking me to break my own arm.  I’d rather die first.  Also, I have an unpleasant history involving a horrible loss at, oh, about the same gestational age and, oh, about the same time of year.  Putting off, even for a day, hooking me up and letting me hear that heartbeat is akin to peeling the skin from my body while I’m still alive.  I would have vastly preferred if they had just hooked me up for the NST and then had me come back on Friday to go over things and get an exam from my doctor.  Because then I could have listened to the heartbeat and KNOWN that it was all okay.  Sure, I feel her kicking in there even as I type this, but nothing is quite as soothing as listening to her heartbeat.  Now, I have to wait.  And I’m half tempted to just go into the hospital and have them hook me up there to listen rather than step foot in that office again.

Have I mentioned how angry I am??

I DO NOT want to go to this appointment on Friday.  I feel I’ll have no choice, especially if Kile has anything to say about it.  But it was already an enormous imposition for him to leave work this morning for that pointless interlude, but to ask him to do it again? Any other week would be easier but THIS WEEK is NOT.  Everyone at his job is already on edge anyhow without giving them something to harp at him about (i.e. taking off from work).

What would you guys do?  I’m sure you’ll tell me to just suck it up and go to the appointment on Friday.  Just like I’m pretty sure that after I settle down and take a nap here in a bit that I’ll feel better and know that’s the right thing to do too.  But still.  Tell me, wouldn’t you be angry too?