Health – Or Lack Thereof

So to those of you out there who are waiting with baited breath for an update on my thyroid status… well… you’re not going to like it.  The short of it is: I still don’t have my meds.  I swear, even I was the sort to get persistant and worked up about this sort of thing, I still don’t think I’d have my meds.  My doctor’s office is THAT awful to work with.  I really picked a winner when we switched our insurance, didn’t I?  Shoot, I just wanted a doctor that was nearby that would be easy to go see.  I didn’t realize his office was going to be one step shy of completely incompetant when it comes to getting the proper care for a disease like hypothyroidism.

I’ve called.  Kile has called.  MY MOTHER IN LAW has called.  Nothin’.  Voicemails have been left.  Calls have not been returned.  Requests have been made for paper prescriptions that we could pick up.  I’d even be willing to go in and talk to the doctor again.  And while I’m not too excited about getting my blood tested AGAIN, I’d even be willing to do THAT.  But… nothing.  As I mentioned before (I think I mentioned it before, at least), I even tried to find another doctor.  But that was easier said than done as they wanted some mysterious “diagnosis” faxed to them before they would make an appointment.  I don’t even know what that MEANS.

And here’s the thing: hypothyroidism causes you to feel a lot of the same symptoms as depression.  By that, I mean that my motivation is below what it might normally be.  Now, I’m not that motivated anyhow, as I’m a rather laid back personality.  Add in the added lack of motivation and I’m pretty much just a bump on a log over here.  It’s very hard to get myself motivated to do something, especially when I know it’s going to be a fight.  It’s easier to just sit back and forget about it.

And that’s another thing… When your thyroid takes a header, so does your memory.  I used to think I had a pretty sharp mind.  I didn’t forget ANYTHING.  Now?  I forget EVERYTHING.  This is above and beyond the forgetfulness of motherhood, ya’ll, if that gives you any indication.  So when you add the forgetfullness with the lack of motivation you get a scenario like I find myself in the middle of.

Picture this:  You know there’s something you need to do.  And you need to do it as soon as possible.  The urgency presses at your brain.  But, it’s the middle of the night and you’re trying to get to sleep.  There’s nothing you can do in the middle of the night, so you’d be better off going to sleep and taking care of it in the morning.  Just don’t forget!  And then, of course you do forget.  Repeat for MONTHS.  And that, in a nutshell, is my life.

I KNOW that I need to take this medication.  But between simply forgetting about it and my lack of motivation, it has fallen through the cracks.  And now the situation has just gotten so completely ridiculous that I’m almost embarassed to see a new doctor about it.  Because then I would have to explain why I am so lame about this.  And I would have to hear how irresponsible it is of me to just let this go like this.

And, honestly, I don’t feel I’m up to that.  So I don’t know what to do next, other than keep pestering the doctor’s office to get our prescription filled for crying out loud.  And wait.  Wait, wait, wait.