I feel like I’ve got a head full of cotton this week or something.  I’m starting to think I’m not getting enough caffeine.  This is something I may have to remedy this next month.  Because I need to function.  And when I catch myself staring at the wall during downtime (ha!  what’s that??), a trail of drool on my chin and my eyes stuck in a vacant expression… well, I have to assume it’s because I need SOMETHING, right?

(Of course, it could be the current lack of thyroid medication.  I do plan to work on that.  Soon.  Ish.  Don’t pester me!)

So anyhow, I’m going to take the opportunity to catch ya’ll up on some of the mundane details of our lives this last week.  What we have all been up to and that sort of jazz.  You’re welcome.

***

Liam is cute, as always.  He’s been very adorable this week, perhaps wanting to make up for earlier in the month when I wanted to throttle him.  He has been attentive to his baby sister (a little on the rough side, perhaps, but attentive nonetheless), sharing his Hot Wheels with her.  He and Harry have been playing together an awful lot, which is great for getting the energy out of both of them.  Sometimes I do have to remind Harry to be careful with him, he’s still just a baby.  But Liam loves to rough-house and laughs his fool head off the whole time they’re playing.

Right now, they’re both watching “Cars” and every now and then, Liam will take a break from playing with his toys to gaze at the screen.  This is definitely a big hit with him.  Of course, it has CARS in it.

He’s been better about eating.  I feel I should knock on wood when I say that.  But I also haven’t been forcing the issue too much.  I do wish there was more variety in what he would eat and that he would consent to more fresh foods, especially meats, vegetables and fruit.  BUT… I’ll take what I can get.  Anyone have any spiffy ideas along these lines?

***

Evie has been a lot more predictable this week.  She’s been a lot more interested in taking actual naps so I’ve been trying to take advantage of that.  In the morning, it’s not so easy, but in the afternoons we’ve taken to going upstairs together.  I’ll often nurse her in our bed and then leave her there while I take a shower, go through my closet (more on that in a minute), do laundry, etc and so forth.  Liam is napping so I’m free to do whatever I need to do with her.  And so far, she’s been great about sleeping.  Okay, admitedly, a time or two I napped with her.  I’m not made of steel here, people.

Yesterday, I laid her down and nursed and then left her be.  She snoozed and started to wake after a good while.  I nursed her again, thinking she would be ready to get up but that I would get a nursing in before she did.  But she fell back asleep for about another hour.  If I recall, I did something similar with Liam (minus the nursing) and had him nap in our bed until I finally moved him to his crib.  I’m not going to rush this, just go at her speed.  But being able to nap in a bed setting is an awesome thing.

I just wish we had a monitor, then I could feel comfortable to go downstairs while she slept.  Right now, we have a monitor set up in Liam’s room (often the only way I can tell he has woken up without going up to check on him!).  We have another cheapo monitor but it’s so cheap that it picks up the other monitor and won’t work on it’s own.  Anyone know a good solution for this?  Do I need to get a seperate (digital, perhaps?) monitor for Evie?

***

Harry is keeping busy and not driving me too nuts.  I’ve had some funny conversations with him this last week (one involving mustaches and his intention to grow one when he can… GAH!).  Like I said, he’s been playing a lot with Liam.  He’s also been playing a lot of Wii.  Mario Kart is still the big hit around here and Harry is actually pretty danged good at it.  He’s unlocked a lot of the special content and takes a certain thrill in knocking Baby Peach off of ledges.

He still frustrates me, though, when it comes to shoes.  He’s completely worn through the new shoes we got him a couple months ago.  Turns out, he was using the one foot to break when riding his Razor scooter and it completely wore the shoe down so that his FOOT shows through the side.  OY.  The only other pair of closed shoes he has at the moment are lace-up boot-style shoes and he just cannot get the hang of tying shoes.  Yes, he is almost 9.  He keeps telling me he forgot how.  (insert image of me slapping my forehead)  Obviously, we’re going to have to buy some shoes this month.

And part of the reason for needing new shoes is… THIRD GRADE!  I swear, my heart skipped a beat as I typed that.  He starts on July 7 (Liam’s 2nd birthday!  GAAH!).  New backpack, new clothes, new shoes… I cannot believe he’s in THIRD GRADE.  What the heck happened to KINDERGARTEN?  He was in preschool when I started this blog, ya’ll.  This ain’t right.

***

Kile is recovering.  Slowly.  He’s back at work this week, but comes home in the evening exhausted.  Believe it or not, summer is an insanely busy time at a university.  That’s when all the work gets done, apparently.  It’s sort of their “crunch time”.  So there hasn’t been a lot of opportunity for him to sit down and rest at work, I think.

Of course, he’s been going in rather early.  Early for HIM, I guess.  Normally he was leaving the house at 8 or later.  This week, it’s been common for him to be out of the house by 7:30.  Now, one would think that then maybe he’d leave a little early, even if that is at 4:30.  That’s what he SHOULD be doing.  But no, he’s leaving at 5:30, or later.  Which is better than 6 or 6:30 like he might normally.  But then, he normally would leave that late because he was going in late.

But try explaining to him that he should either go in late and come home late or go in early and come home early.  DEAF EARS, I tell you.  It’s like talking to a wall.

When he does get home, he’s pretty much toast.  He even fell asleep during the first hour of “I Love the New Millenium” last night.  That’s got to tell you something right there.

***

As for me?  I’m getting my haircut tomorrow!  It’s at a “cool, hip” new salon downtown.  I’m actually a little nervous about it, to be honest.  I fear I’m not cool enough for this place.  I’ve read reviews online and several of the (glowing) reviews mentioned how this is a great place for everyone!  Even SOCCER MOMS.  As if that is so incredible to believe.  I fear they will think I’m an enormous nerd.  And will they think I’m an even more enormous nerd when I ask for an a-line graduated bob?  I find myself trying to figure out what to wear, hoping I’ll look somewhat normal.

I’m also worried about how much it will cost.  I hope it’s not too expensive.  What do haircuts cost you all, so I can I get a good idea?  I haven’t paid over $40, not including tip, so I’m just not sure what to expect.

As I mentioned up above, I’ve been cleaning out my closet.  I already have about two metric tons of old clothes to donate and I think I could probably get about two tons more.  There are a LOT of clothes I have that I never wear anymore (and some I never have worn at all, but were hand-me-downs).  Plus, there’s a bunch of maternity clothes that I will not be wearing.  Some of those I will be selling becuase they are really nice and in nice condition, but the rest are getting donated.

I even have quite the pile of shoes to donate.  My closet is actually starting to look (gasp) organized.  Perhaps now I’ll actually hang things up instead of throwing them in a pile on top of my dresser.  It’s all part of a greater plan to simplify and toss stuff that we don’t need or use.  LESS STUFF.  It’s a big goal, people.  Because we?  Have a lot of stuff.  A LOT.  Don’t get me started on the garage.

***

So that’s the story from around these parts.  WHEW.  That ended up being longer than I expected.  Apparently, I had quite a bit to say.  At any rate, I’m SO glad it’s a Friday and that the weekend (and payday!) stretches before us.  Anyone here have any big plans?  My biggest plan is my haircut (photos to follow, hopefully!).  And maybe some sleep?  Definitely some coffee or something.  We’ll see!

Everyone else seems to be posting about BlogHer this week, so I figured I should join suit.  I’m such a follower.  It’s amazing that I have a single original thought in my head sometimes, isn’t it?  I really should be ashamed of myself.

Oh, and if you are one of the unfortunate ones who isn’t able to attend this year and posts like this are making your head hurt?  Feel free to skip this one.  I give you a free pass.  I understand.

So.  Where was I?  (I had to take a small break to entertain Evie, who was requesting some face-time.)  Oh yes.  BlogHer.  The conference with which to end all conferences.  The Big Kahuna.  The Drunk Tank, if you will.

Every year, as much fun as I have, I always walk away with some regrets.  This year, I vow, will be different.  I’m sure there might be a regret or two (or three), but I am hoping they are NEW regrets and not the same old tired issues I had the year before.  After all, I want to foster personal growth and expansion here, don’t I?

With that in mind, I vow:

• NOT to duck out on sessions on Day 2 like I always seem to do.  I was better about this last year.  But there were still a few times where I just hung out instead of going to a session and I feel, afterward, like this was time wasted, somehow.  This said, I do not regret missing the “speed dating” dealie and hope to miss it this year as well.  I’m all for putting myself out there this year, but even I have my limits.
• I will introduce myself to more people and get more business cards, etc.  I was better about this last year, again, but there is definitely room for improvement.  This is like one of the major reasons for going to BlogHer in the first place and to let my insecurities prevent me from enjoying the legions?  Is just goofy.  I will spread myself around a lot better this year, I PROMISE.  I hope to return home with NO business cards left this year.   And a huge passel of cards from other people.
• I will NOT be weighed down with tons of crap this year.  Now, I’m a lot less certain about my ability to uphold this one.  The future of our Westin hotel room is in jeopardy, after all, and I’m hoping to be able to dump swag there as needed.  I plan to carry my husband’s laptop (which is itty bitty and I normally detest it but for such an event, I can definitely see it’s merits) in the diaper bag.  Because, yes, I will have Evie with me.  I’m hoping to having her in a carrier, but I’ll still need a diaper bag.  Especially if I’m planning to have her in cloth.  Which I am.  So the less crap to carry around?  The better.  I will try to offload the swag as soon as I can.  Perhaps during the speed dating! (Two birds, one stone!  Sweet!)

Yep, Evie will be with me the entire time.  I will be putting Liam in childcare.  Harry will be staying in San Jose with my parents.  Kile will have Blessed Time To Himself.  I’m sure he’s looking forward to it.  I’m a little bit nervous about having Evie with me the entire time, but I’m sure she’ll be a good girl.  I’m thinking I’d like to find a good nursing cover so I don’t have to wrangle a blanket to cover her every time she wants to eat.  As for my own session (first thing, Friday morning!), I’m hoping that maybe I can foist her off on some good-hearted soul.  Tell me, if you’re going to my Introversion session, would you be willing to Evie-Sit?  Also, for the record, if anyone wants to hold her or something (particularly if they want to hold her so I can eat), PLEASE ASK.  I will, chances are, be more than happy to hand her off.  You know, provided you’re not an axe murderer or something.

Evie stands to be the better dressed of the two of us too.  I’m okay with that, at least for now.  Chances are the morning of Day One I will be fretting that I don’t look nearly cool enough to be seen amidst such an amazing group of women.  I’m thinking, however, that I’ll rock jeans (perhaps capris) and t-shirts.  Maybe a blouse.  I don’t know if I’ll be able to make any cocktail parties, but if I were, I would probably change for them.  As for shoes, comfort is key.  I will probably wear various and sundry flip-flops.  But if i’m wearing jeans, that might look silly.  So we’ll see.

I’m ordering business cards from Zazzle this year.  They have “Moo” shaped cards but you can order in smaller increments.  I’ve always had 100 cards and always come home with about 90 cards left.  Even if I hope to pass out more cards this year, I still doubt I’ll pass out more than 60.  So that’s what I’m going to get.

Wow, this has already taken hours upon hours to compose.  What a geek I am.

I guess my point (do I have one?) is that a) yes, I’m excited about going to BlogHer and b) I’m hoping to not make some of the mistakes I’ve made in years past.  I had other things I was going to say, but Liam woke up from his nap and he’s in a Mood.  The whining is seriously blocking any coherent thought from my brain.  I’ll leave you here and if I have anything else to say, then… I guess I’ll say it.  Later.

Oh!  One last thing:  Can I have breakfast with you on Day 1?  Please?  I’m all by my lonesome at this thing!

I’m dealing pretty well, all things considered, with the extra responsibilities I have to shoulder in the wake of Kile’s hernia surgery.  It’s a huge adjustment around here.  I guess I never really realized how much I depend on Kile to do a lot of the heavy lifting around here.  And now that it’s all on me?  Well… I can only hope that all this lifting will result in some finely toned upper arms for me.  I think that would be only fair, wouldn’t it?

Liam is a huge part of this.  Normally, I wouldn’t have a problem with this.  Still, I am responsible for getting him up in the morning, changing just about all of his diapers (since that involves lifting him onto the changing table), putting him in his high chair for meals, carrying him up to bed and putting him into the crib for naps and bedtime, putting him in his carseat, putting him in the pack n’ play and taking him out again, lifting him into shopping carts, etc and so forth.  It’s not a lot more than I normally do anyhow, but I think it’s the knowledge that I’m the only one who can do this is what is freaking me out a little bit.  I’d never stopped to think about how nice it is to have a “back up”.  I will say this, I breathe a sigh of relief at bedtime because I know there is a large chunk of time in front of me that I will not have to worry about being “on duty” for picking up Liam.

Dealing with the garbage has long been my responsibility anyhow, so that’s no big deal.  But yesterday I filled a garbage bag with old clothes from my closet, ready to donate when the truck visits our street next week and had to drag it downstairs all by myself.  That thing was HEAVY.  Normally, I would have had Kile carry it down for me.  (And we wonder why he had a hernia?)

Normally, I wouldn’t have a problem with this.  And I don’t now.  But it’s just… ALL AT ONCE.  And it feels awful to say it like that.  Last night, we did leftovers for dinner, so that was different.  But Monday night, Kile was exhausted from his first day back at work and asked if I could fix dinner.  Sure I could and I did.  I made plenty of spaghetti (hence the leftovers) and it all turned out fine.  But on top of that I was dealing with Liam and his dinner and getting him in the high chair, dealing with Evie (who was having a particularly clingy day on Monday) and trying to deal with about five other things at the same time.

There are 3 1/2 more weeks of this.  Normally, I wouldn’t have a problem with that.  But…

I want to schedule a hair appointment for this weekend.  How is this going to work out?  I have to try to make sure it will be during Liam’s naptime, so I won’t have to worry about Kile needing to lift him anywhere.  Plus, I’ll need to make sure Harry is on hand just in case he does.  As for Evie, I’ll need to make sure that she’s well fed and perhaps snoozing away herself.  Even then, I know I’ll feel guilty pretty much the whole time and will be rushing home after, just in case I’m needed.

I guess this is what it’s like, huh?  This is a little bit of what it’s like to be responsible for an entire family.  Perhaps, just maybe, this is what Kile feels like day in and day out.  Like he has to shoulder the burden for all of us.

If there’s anything I can get out of this little “experience”, I’m thinking that it’s a new appreciation for everything Kile does.  I don’t think I’ll be taking him for granted anytime soon.  Certainly, I don’t have a problem with that.

Thank you to everyone who commented last week when I was feeling bad about my relationship with Liam while we were away. I’m pleased to report that things are much more back to normal now.  I’ve found the joy in interacting with Liam once again and I am so happy for that.  From the day he was born, he’s been my special guy.  Perhaps it’s because of all the struggle we went through in order to bring him into our lives, but I’ve always been able to tolerate quite a bit of shenanigans from that child.  The little stuff doesn’t bother me so much anymore and I’ve always been happy that I can sit back and enjoy the mischevious glint in his eyes without worrying so much about what he’s going to DO with that mischevious glint.

I guess if we’re going to be honest, it wasn’t JUST our trip to Elko that caused a strain.  Surely, the birth of Evie has contributed.  I have less time for him.  Less opportunities for snuggles on my lap.  My days are more packed and more tiresome.

In the last week, however, I’ve mellowed out again and yesterday (and for the last several days) I was downright charmed by my middle child.  He was being especially sweet.  Or rather, I was noticing his intentions better.  What I was seeing as him pestering Evie was him trying to help out with her.  He wasn’t just throwing toy cars at her, he was giving her the cars to play with when she was being fussy.  He wasn’t trying to hassle her by rocking her carseat violently in the shopping cart, he was trying to soothe her as he has seen us do (though a bit more on the rough side, to be honest).

He’s still a sweet boy, with a wide, open face, twinkling eyes and engaging grin.  He wants love and cuddles as much as he ever did.  And I’ve been a lot more happy to indulge him in that desire.  I guess, in a way, being the only one around here who can lug him around these days has “forced” me to spend more time with him without Evie between us.  I’m directly involved in all of his activities once again.  It used to be that after Kile was home at night, he would take over with Liam and they would play together while I fed and cared for Evie.  Kile would put him to bed himself.  I never questioned it.

Now, I take a part in that.  I carry him up to bed.  I still leave so that they can have their time alone together, but on nights like last night where Liam needed extra assurance before bed, I was on hand to pick him up, rub his back and give him lots of loves.

This time is SO fleeting.  He’s already growing up so much.  I can’t believe his birthday is in just a couple weeks (two, I think.  Or less.  GAH).  Yesterday, he ran towards me, chattering “Ma-ma-ma-ma!  Mama!”  He isn’t what I would call a talkative sort, but he is saying more and more words every day.  And even if he isn’t saying it, he’s understanding it.  On “Blue’s Clues” yesterday (a personal favorite of his that I can’t help but indulge), there was talk of jumping.  Liam got excited by this and I asked him if he was going to jump.  And jump he did, a big grin on his face.  He loves to jump.

I guess this post is rather ramble-y and has no real point.  But I wanted to let you all know that your advice and shoulder-pats did help.  And I wanted to let you know that things are getting better around here.  And I had to chuckle at everyone who suggested our trip to visit my parents here in a couple weeks will SURELY be less stressful.  Only Michelle got it right.  She knows my parents and nailed it on the head.  It WILL be worse at my parents’ house.  MUST BRING BABY GATE.  And BOOZE.  (For me, not Liam, though I can’t promise anything.)