You know how you feel after Christmas and New Year’s is over?  Kind of sad, depressed, let down and empty?  (Or is that just me?)  Coming home from a vacation like the one we were on is just like that.  BUT WORSE.

I keep joking that Kile and I are ruined for other vacations now.  That our expectations of just how awesome a trip can be has made our usual vacations to visit family in San Jose and Elko that much more… well… lame.  It’s not that visiting family is lame.  But we now know what a vacation can feel like.  And visiting family, as nice as it is, is not a vacation.  It’s not activities piled on food piled on adventure.  Good, yes.  Absolutely fabulous?  Not so much.

The bad news is: that’s the sort of vacation we take.  We’re not the sort of family that can just take these fabulous family vacations once a year (or even once every five years).  It just doesn’t HAPPEN. So I just worry that we’re going to feel depressed when it comes to vacation time now.  Because, you know, driving over Donner isn’t the Disney Cruise.  Shopping at Walmart in Elko isn’t the Magic Kingdom.

SIGH.

Our longing has been so bad that Kile has been madly researching future vacations that we might (theoretically) take.  Right now leading the pack is an Alaskan cruise.  It’s fun to play “what if” but I don’t know how realistic going on one of those would be.  But, oh boy, would it be awesome.

So life here in Reno has been rather disappointing since we returned.  In large part because August sucks.

Remember the venom I used to spew forth in regards to March?  Oh, how March was loathed here.  But then Evie was born in March.  And now it’s a “good” month (I’m still keeping my eye on it though).   With the focus off of March, August has stepped into the limelight.

My dislike for August isn’t exactly new.  Just like my dislike for March wasn’t a new thing when Jackson died.  It just is.  And why?

The big reason is Kile’s work schedule.  August is a mondo month at the University.  And a mondo month for the housing department.  It means long hours, working weekends, stress and no days off.  It was a REALLY big deal that Kile was able to go on our Disney Extravaganza considering such time off in August is not usual.  It makes him crabby.  And when Kile gets crabby, I get crabby.  And when I get crabby, the kids hide.

Seriously though, it does have an impact on the household.  And I count the days until September and things can return to quasi-normal.

Also: August is the month that I had the D&E back in 2005.  I had found out that my pregnancy was kaput and was sent on a hellish roller coaster that resulted in our nightly alcohol drinking for the duration of the month, just to get through. (Though come to think of it, I think every August should have nightly alcohol drinking because that wasn’t half bad.)   It was bad, that August.

Then there was that August a couple years ago that I was on an emotional roller coaster, unsure of where the ground was.  I eventually discovered I was pregnant and that was GOOD, but the emotional fallout from that month continues to haunt me to this day.  It was bad.  Bad enough that it has changed me in some not so good ways and I’m not sure I can ever be the same person I was before.

Finally, there’s the obvious: the heat.  Not a big fan of heat in general, by the time August rolls around I HAVE HAD IT.   The days and days and days of hot, hot weather have taken their toll and I’m just plain SICK of it.  It makes me crabby to have yet another day of mid to high 90 degree temperatures.  On top of everything else, the heat causes extra stress, extra pain and extra orneriness.   For instance, right now I’m so ready for fall and fall temperatures that when we had a downright COOL day on Sunday, I almost cried with relief.

We were married in August, which is GOOD.  In my opinion, a month like this NEEDS some good stuff.  But the anniversary is in the beginning of the month and August doesn’t really start to really suck the big one until the middle to the end of the month.

So yes, our Disney trip was AWESOME this month.  And you would think that would be enough to redeem the entire month, at least for this year.  But as I see it, the Disney trip was a respite from a shitty month.  And even the trip would have been that much more awesome had it taken place in almost any other month.  And the coming home from the Disney trip has only served to ADD to the suck that is August.

Basically, I’m a rather disgruntled person and if August knew what was good for it, it’d just hurry up the next seven days and get me the heck to September already.

Everything is so cluttered.  And it’s not just my house (though, lord in heaven, the clutter in this house threatens to eat us all).  My mind is filled with useless clutter.  So, since I have to start somewhere and it’s unlikely I’m going to be starting with the house itself anytime soon, I’m starting with my mind.

How to you de-clutter your mind?  You spit out the random snippets of things that are dancing around in there, clamoring for your attention in a blog post, that’s how.  Now you know.

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Thanks for everyone’s questions about WordPress!  Keep them coming!  I’m not sure when I’m going to start the series, but I’m thinking it’ll be sometime this week.  So stay tuned!  I’m seeing a lot of the same sorts of questions so that tells me what you all REALLY want to know.  Which is good!  And I’ve got some great ideas.  Hopefully, I can help some people out.  And if I lure just a few people away from the vile clutches of Blogger, then I will consider it a raging success.

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Liam is feeling unwell today.  He was unwell yesterday too.  Runny nose, slight fever.  General crankiness (beyond the normal “I’m 2 years old and a little shit”, at least).  Poor guy.  He was very upset this morning when we couldn’t find his dolphin.  Because heaven forbid the child should have to drink his morning milk without dolphin in hand.  I’m hoping he starts feeling better before he a) infects me and or b) infects Evie.  I do not want Evie to get sick and I can’t afford to feel under the weather right now.  Plus this is a particularly sucktastic week for Kile at work so he can’t afford for me (or him) to be sick right now either.  Sick, sick, go away!!

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Evie is sleeping in our bed pretty much full time now.  I know I had mentioned putting her in her crib a bit before, but we’re kind of moving away from that.  At least for now, we are.  Liam was 10 months before he slept in his crib and until then he had slept in our bed for naps and bedtime.  Since Evie is just shy of 5 months old, I figure we’re sort of jumping the gun anyhow.  She has already been taking naps in our bed, though admittedly, she often draws me in with her for at least 20 minutes or so.  I took a cue from what we did with Liam and the past several nights have been taking her up to bed when Kile’s putting Liam down and start nursing her.  Kile comes in when he’s done with Liam and reads a story to Evie while she finishes up and then it’s off to dreamland she goes!

So far, it has worked great.  She’ll wake up maybe once before I go to bed, and it’s usually shortly after she goes down so I figure she’ll stop doing that fairly soon.  It sure has been strange to have the evenings entirely kid-free around here.  Nice, but weird.

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Hey, I’m doing my own ads!  I toyed with BlogAds (again… I had run them once upon a time but… meh) and for the last week I tried Performancing ads.  Which was well and good until I got an email from a sweet gal telling me that she had been trying to purchase ad space on my blog with the Performancing ads and kept erroring out.  Well, shoot, that’s not going to do!  So I found a WordPress plugin and am serving up my own ads now.  Middle-man be darned!

So this fabulous gal and her WAY cute products are now my very first advertisers!  Check out the link under the BlogHer ads in the righthand sidebar.  Click away and let her know that you think she rocks too (cuz she so totally does).

And if you’re interested in advertising, check out my new advertising page for details.  Look at me, trying to be all legitimate and stuff!

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It’s less than two weeks until I get my iPhone.  The waiting is TORTURE.

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How awesome are the Olympics this year?  I barely remember the Olympics in Athens or the one in Sydney.  I guess I’ve been a) busy and b) uninterested.  I think Twitter has really helped the Olympics be awesome this time around, as have all the blogs.  Getting to be excited about it with a bunch of other people at the same time what makes it fun, right?  GO PHELPS.  That man could probably get away with murder right about now.  Golden boy, indeed!  Shoot, all the American athletes have been amazing this year.  The gymnasts just blow my mind, for example.  I’ve even enjoyed watching the athletes from the other countries.  There have been ome great stories this year and I love watching the human spirit at work!  Good examples of this: the women’s marathon and the runners from Jamaica.  I’m going to miss these things when they’re done.

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Good gravy I’m tired today.  Trying not to rely on the Rockstar too much this week but I think I’ll have to make an exception today.

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I stop and realize where I was at one year ago today and I can’t believe it’s been a whole year and that everything last year really happened (well, maybe not the positive pregnancy test part because I do have a wee, adorable baby to cuddle this year because of that!).  Last August was a nightmare.  I wouldn’t say this August is a dream or anything, though.  I wish I could just go ahead and get this funk behind me once and for all.  The thyroid pills help, but I still have more “off” days than “on” days

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Okay, time to move on with the day.  I think I’ll go get some Rockstar and give my ass a proverbial kick.  Do Mondays always suck this much?