I did something unwise as we were going to bed last night. I fired up Safari on my iPhone to catch up on a couple blogs while Kile tucked the boys in and got into bed himself. This was a poor idea because I read something that brought me to my knees. That sucked the air from my lungs. That made me feel like I was going to throw up. That caused me to cry and ache and alarm my poor husband.

Maddie died last night.

If you haven’t been reading Mamasphor, you may not know Maddie. But I’ve been reading about her and her family for quite a while now. And while I knew that her prematurity gave her a lot of health issues, she was still a vibrant, happy little girl. Not too much older than Evie. I would get nervous whenever Maddie was sick, particularly this last fall when she was hospitalized. But she recovered.

And now? Now…

I knew I wouldn’t be able to fall asleep, think of this beautiful little girl and her poor parents. Kile tried to distract me, and it sorta worked. Instead I found myself all upset and enraged about this kid who has been stealing food out of Harry’s lunch at school.  That’s productive, huh?

And when I heard Evie cry and moan over the monitor? Instead of willing her to fall back to sleep like I normally would, I leapt out of bed to retrieve her. I held her tight, reveling in her weight. In her health.  I kissed her head and stroked her hair and cried for a poor baby girl and a mama who won’t get to do that with her daughter ever again.

It’s not fair.  It’s not right.

There isn’t much I or anyone else can do.  But what I can do is donate the paltry amount currently residing in my PayPal account to her March of Dimes campaign and join the walk.  And I shall do both.   How about you?

UPDATE: Heather’s (aka mamaspohr) blog has been down for the better part of the day.  To hear why and what has been done about it, read this.

I continue to be just heartsick about this.  I cannot concentrate on anything.  I weep for a child I never knew.

I’m a fantastic lurker.  All the blogs I follow, plus the forum I’m a member of… I lurk these all with STYLE, yo.  The thing is… sometimes I forget that I’m lurking. 

See, I don’t lurk on PURPOSE.  But often my inner editor takes control and I don’t think I have enough to contribute to comment on a post.  Or I don’t reply to a thread on a forum because I don’t want to bust in on the conversation.  Still, I sometimes forget that I’m not commenting or replying.  And the more I read about the people on their blogs and in the forums, the more I feel like I know them and their issues and their families.  I feel a kinship that, quite frankly, isn’t even THERE. 

It’s all rather silly, really.  

I feel invested in these lives and these people have NO idea who I am.  So then I feel even stupider when I actually do comment or reply or whatever.  Because i realize the people look at it and think, “Who the heck is this fruitcake?”  

This is the inherent issue with watching from the sidelines.  I’m very good at watching from the sidelines.  It’s clean, you don’t get messy when you don’t participate.  But the problem is being so isolated.  You watch everyone living their lives and if you don’t throw yourself in there from time to time, well, then your legacy only lives on in your head, doesn’t it?  

Woah.  That’s a little deep for a Wednesday morning, isn’t it?

I subscribe to a lot of blogs.   A LOT.  And, to be honest, I simply don’t have the time (or patience) to read everything.  I don’t know who would, without spending 100% of their life on the computer.  So there are some posts that I skip.  And some that I don’t.  I thought I would share some things that I look for when scanning through my reader and what generally catches my eye, versus what I generally mark as read and move past.  WIthout further ado, here’s how to get me to read your blog post:

• Publish full feeds.  I cannot stress this enough.  When I’m crunched for time, the blogs that publish partial feeds are the first ones I skip (and that’s if I’ve even subscribed to them in the first place).  If you don’t care enough to put up the full feed, I don’t care enough to click through to read the post.  Simple enough.
• Avoid long chunks of text.  This means long paragraphs that aren’t broken up.  I’ve been known to do this myself, so I apologize.  But when flipping through reader, trying to get things read, I tend to skip over the posts that are just large blocks of text because, quite frankly, they take the longest time to read.
• Don’t post about sports.  Or music.  I don’t care.  I’m not a sports fan.  And I’m not a music fan.  So post your fantasy football picks and your favorite You Tube videos all you want, but I’m gonna pass.  It’s just not my cup of tea.
• Don’t start off a post by warning me that this is a long post.  Because I will glance at the clock and say to myself, “Oy, I don’t have time for a long post.”  And I will skip it.  And then I’ll go back a week later and mark it as read because I still don’t have and now the post is hopelessly outdated.
• Include pictures.  I love to read posts that have lots of pictures.  The pictures are not only interesting to look at but break up the monotony of the text.
• Post little snippets.  Not every post has to be a super-long narrative.  A small conversation from the day, a picture you took, a thought that made you stop and think again… I love these.  They’re interesting, quick to read and then I can move on to the next post.  I often don’t follow this one.  I’m sorry.
• Vary the tone of your posts.  You may be going through a rough time, but if EVERY post is depressing then I’m going to want to skip over them.  I’ve tried to be particularly mindful of this and that’s why after a couple of “woe is me” posts, I’ll try to post something light.  If I see the fifth whiny post in a row from someone I subscribe to, that post gets put on the chopping block.  And if it keeps up, I unsubscribe altogether.
• Don’t post a lot about an issue that I am opposed to.  This is particularly true during election season.  Now, this isn’t something that a lot of people can (or should) help.  But the fact of the matter is, if I subscribe to a blog and then they start ranting about liberals or how McCain is the Second Coming?  I’m not going to read it.  NOPE.  I guess this is why I’ve TRIED (not always successfully) to tone down my own political posts.  Because I know half of everyone wouldn’t want to read that.
• Don’t just put out posts full of links to your other blog gigs.  If I open up a blog and see that the latest post is full of links to their paying gigs and nothing else?  I skip it.  If I want to read their other blogs, I’m already subscribed to them and hence already know about the posts over there.  A better way to promote your other gigs is to throw a line or two in at the bottom of a regular post with a link.  I’m far more likely to actually read that.
• Keep review posts to a review blog.  Even if you aren’t a member of BlogHerAds and don’t need to separate the two.  Because when a blog I subscribe to publishes a review for something I don’t care about (or worse, that smacks of “pay per post” type deals), I skip the post.  Again, like I said above, put a link in a regular post to your review blog.  If it’s something I’m interested in learning about or if there’s an associated giveaway, I’ll go check it out.   I do subscribe to some review blogs and some of the posts I read and some I don’t.  But I like to know, going in, that that’s what I’m going to find.

That pretty much covers it for me.  So I want to turn the question on you guys.  What posts do you generally skip when you’re trying to burn through your readers?  What makes you more likely to read a blog post?  Do you have any hot-button issues (like the full feeds thing is for me)?

Nope, you’re not seeing things.  My YNTR list is back this week!  And, bonus for you, it includes two weeks of linky goodness. I still maintain that I may not be doing this list every week.  But I will when I can and when it’s not going to cause me an undue amount of grief to put it together.   And, as it would happen, this week the grief has not been caused.  It’s a mellow Saturday morning around these parts, Liam is watching “Ratatouille” on cable and Kile is snoring in his recliner.  All is right with the world.

This first post is something I could relate to.  Should I go Mac and never come back? from Mandajuice is much like a similar post I wrote not that long ago.  And, just like myself, she finds herself wooed by the seductive iPhone and repelled by a crappy PC.  I’ll be interested to see what she picks, especially since I’m 99.9% sure I’m going to get a MacBook when the time comes.

And in the “Long-Awaited” category, we have Ezra from amalah . com.   I literally felt my heart swell when I saw this sweet picture and the details on the birth.  She is officially the mom of two boys!  I can’t wait to see how the weeks and months ahead are for her and her family.  Congratulations, Storchs!

I can DEFINITELY relate to The Hot Fuss™* and Me from temporarily me.  In fact, I may have thought these very words myself on more than one occasion in the last week or so.  Or the last month or so.  Or the last six months or so.  Sometimes, a bad mood just gets ahold of you and you can’t shake it.  And sometimes, your kid wants to be superglued to your side.  And when the two meet?  Well… that’s when you get a post like this.

And I know you’re probably sick of me talking about it already, but Her New Hobby from Confessions of a Pioneer Woman made me cackle a little bit because The Power of the iPhone can grip ANYBODY, even housewives who live out in the country. And the text messages from her daughter were just too darned funny. I think someone likes “Napoleon Dynamite”!

On the flip side, we have My Grandpa: October 5, 1921- October 14, 2008 from Joy Unexpected. This was a touching and sad post about her grandfather who passed away this last week. It’s been a long time since all of my grandparents passed, but I could keenly feel her loss through her words. I hope she finds peace, now that her grandfather has found his. My sympathies to her and her family.

Being a Reno citizen as well, I can appreciate Fall Where? from EmilyPie. I love her summation of the season here in our town, and how schizophrenic they often tend to be. However, I do disagree with her assessment of summer and the need for air conditioning (I am sure I would perish without it). I love winter, always have, always will. But yes. Fall is like a week long around here. I could do with some more fall, to be honest.

This post gets filed under the “ZOMG” category. ZOMG! Twilight Soundtrack Playlist Just Released! from MamaPop shares with us the fantabulous news of the new “Twilight” movie soundtrack. Can you believe I already have some of these songs on my iTunes? BEFORE this list was released? Oh, I’m a hardcore fan, ya’ll. And you can bet I’ll have the rest of these songs when the soundtrack is released. I cannot WAIT to hear the one recorded by Robert Pattinson.

Enough is Enough from Queen of Spain Blog is a post about the turn in tone the political race has taken lately. And I wish I could say in the intervening days since she first posted this that the voices of hate have toned down but I really don’t think they have. I think they may have gotten worse. But I definitely share her feelings and hope that people settle the heck down. And lets find some decency in all of this, please? Aren’t we better than this? Please tell me that we are.

Lastly, we have My Husband is Not My Keeper, also from temporarily me. This spoke to me because I have often had these very same feelings. Being a stay at home mom, and not having any of my own income, I often feel like my voice is dimmed somewhat. I think that’s pretty common. And it’s as much my fault as any one else’s. But all the time, this is an impassioned, important post. You should all read it.

So there we go.  Another week’s list in the hopper.  This should be enough to keep you out of trouble this weekend.  As for me, we have a baby costume to find and a pumpkin to pick out (nope, we don’t have that yet either).  Should be fun!  Happy Weekend, ya’ll.

Yep, I’m doing the list this week.  But I do want to put out the warning that there might be weeks here and there where I don’t do the list.  The last couple of days, for instance, it’s been difficult keeping up with my reader.  It’s always like that when we have company or anything remotely interesting going on.  (Which isn’t that often because we redefine what it means to be hermits.)  Anyhow, without further ado… I present to you this week’s fabulous list…

First, you’ve gotta check out Advice from Mom, Part I from Mighty Girl.  The advice in this list was SPOT ON.  I may print it out, laminate it, and give it to Evie when she turns 18.  Hey.  That’s not a half bad idea.

After last week’s sob-fest, it’s nice to see something GOOD from Loralee.  “And now for something COMPLETELY different…” from loraleeslooneytunes.com was a breath of fresh air and I found myself pumping my fist for her.  I will be cheering her on through this, you can count on that.  She is very deserving of a happy ending (or beginning?), don’t you think?

I Am Perfect, You Are Not – A Failure Of The Green… from The Good Human is a perfect example of how environmentalists can turn regular people off of going green.  And I’d say it goes for other facets of our lives as well.  I’m thinking, in particular, of politics.  I think a lot of Democrats turn off people who feel that they’re being talked down to, made fun of, whatever.  And when it comes to saving the planet, it doesn’t matter if you don’t do EVERYTHING, just as long as you do SOMETHING.  Wouldn’t you agree?

I think the “Best Post of the Week” award (shut up, it just made it up) should go to Maybe This Isn’t My Place to Say… from karensugarpants.com.  This post had me from start to finish, brought tears to my eyes and a lump to my throat.  I’m a gulible sort, and I didn’t see where she was going with this until the end of the post, which I felt made it that much more powerful.  This post was nothing short of amazing.  READ IT.

Oh Molly, I know (sorta) how you feel.  In How to fall apart with all (some) of the world watching from LOST A SOCK,  she talks about the quagmire she’s sunk into since her baby daughter was born several weeks ago.  It’s not easy.  And I want to club anyone who would dare even make it look like it is.  It’s a day to day struggle.  I want to send her supportive thoughts.  You’re not alone.

Also, if you’re in the mood for some giggles and blogging introspection, read Stats and Man Ponytails from The Bean.  I know what she means when she agonizes over strange and unexplainable differences in stats.  In feeling sometimes tied to the blog because of those stats.  Stats will ruin blogging, I’m positively sure of it.  I hate trying to decifer those maddening dips!

Maybe I’m obsessed with my iPhone, but My Top Ten iPhone Apps from Greeblemonkey is the sort of post I just GOBBLE up these days.  I feel so new to the technology and there are so many “apps” to choose from that I never know which one is going to be the BEST one.  So having a “cheat sheet” to refer to helps like you wouldn’t believe.  And if you don’t have an iPhone, reading this list will make you want to cut off your arm to get one! (Okay, maybe not.  But it sure sounded good, didn’t it?)

And that’s it for this week’s installment.  I hope everyone has fine and productive weekends.  I will be back at some point with pictures and stories from yesterday’s day trip.  Despite appearances, it did NOT involve alcohol (too bad!).  Has anyone guessed where we went?  (I didn’t really make it a secret, for the record.)