Budget

Perhaps, just maybe, it’s ironic that I’m speaking on a panel about overcoming introversion at BlogHer this year and I find myself feeling rather, well, introverted about it all? I don’t know. I never could really pin down the definition of irony, after all. Dang that Alanis Morrisette. She totally screwed me over with that one.

Some of you who are going to BlogHer this year have met me at past BlogHer conferences. Some of you have not. For those of you who have not, I want to be sure to tell you what to expect when and if you see me there. What to look for. We don’t get a really good physical representation of ourselves on these blogs and I so rarely ever take pictures of myself. So here goes:

Despite the hip, new haircut, I’m really rather dorky. It shows in my physical personna.
I am tall, about 5′8, and awkward with it. I don’t wear heels because I don’t want to emphasize it.
I’m also large boned which makes me feel like a hulkish freak at times. Tall and Large. Fantastic.
Add to that all the excess baby weight that is hanging around. So yeah, that’s my way of saying I’mon the chunky side. I definitely have some extra padding (read: back fat, jiggly arms, thunder thighs, floppy belly, big ol’ boobs… you name it).
I wear glasses. I take them off usually for pictures of myself but I do wear them all the time. I can’t see, otherwise.
My clothes are either out of fashion or ill-fitting or both. I’ve never been very good at knowing what looks good on me.
I have big feet, which will probably be wearing flip flops. Unless I’m wearing jeans. Then I’ll wear sneakers.
My nails are messed UP. I hope to have them painted and hopefully looking halfway presentable but they’re an issue for me right now.
My teeth aren’t so great either. I have an enormous mouth and big teeth and they don’t look THAT great. I see myself smiling in pictures and cringe half the time. I hope to whiten them before going so at least they’ll be white, you know?
I’m not entirely sure I know what to do with my new ‘do. I’ve tried a couple times so far and so far it looks pretty sad. Plus, you know, mah hairs is all gone! I’m not used to it yet.

So there you go. Paints a pretty picture, huh? I’m thinking I did one of these last year too. Shows you what a self-conscious twit I can be. But… there you have it.

Also: Am still stressing the budget. I SO want to stay at the Westin on Friday night. But Kile keeps hemming and hawing. He tells me to raise the money. RIGHT. And how would I do that? Perform a little magic trick and it’ll appear? Voila! Wouldn’t that be nice? I’m going to try to sell some of my maternity clothes (now that I don’t need them anymore) that still look nice (the rest are getting donated) and see what that brings in. I have my latest ad revenue check from BlogHer. But beyond that? Ehhhh…

I hate to even SAY it but I considered putting up a PayPal donate button in the sidebar. You know one of those, “Help me go to BlogHer!” type deals. But I don’t know, that just feels… weird. I hate to even think it. Still, it may come to that. Perhaps I could offer up some swag to donators come August when the budget has righted itself once more and I can make it to the post office.

I don’t know. I hate to ask anything of you guys. You’re all so fabulous and I’m just amazed that I have any readers here at ALL. You guys, for lack of a better word, ROCK. I should be sending you guys swag just for showing up day by day.

It’s getting goofy, isn’t it? The price of gas is so high that I cannot believe how high it is. And it seems to just KEEP. GOING. UP. It doesn’t stop with the price of gas (though the price of gas is largely responsible for all the other crap). Shoot, the Krispy Kreme here in town had to close (as in pack up and close down in the middle of the freaking night) because they couldn’t afford the gas it takes to deliver donuts to all the places in town that ordered them. So there’s no Krispy Kreme donuts. Like, for forever. NOT RIGHT, people.

Groceries have gone up, though I will admit to being surprised that the price of milk has gone down somewhat. We paid under $2.50 for a gallon of lowfat yesterday. Skim was just over $2. Not bad! And certainly better than it was. But I’m afraid that’s where the good news ends with groceries. Everything else is going up, up, up. Don’t get me started about cereal. It’s just nuts.

Everything is expensive now, but the big one is gas. Our trip to Elko this month pretty much drained our budget. I’m a little scared about next month and the drive down for BlogHer. We stand to use more gas for that. We have a room reserved, but we may have to back out of it unless I’m able to scrape together some extra money to help pay for it. Yes, it’s THAT bad. Gas is nearly $5 a gallon down there, ya’ll. I have a feeling this is definitely going to impact my “cute outfit” budget. Oh well. I wasn’t really planning to get anything anyhow. I do want to get my hair cut, however, and am still planning to do that.

I know I have a ton of stuff around here that I could sell on craigslist, list on various forums for sale, etc and so forth. Shoot, I even have a closet full of clothes that I’m hoping to just GIVE AWAY. I just need the time to go through it all. Extra time has been in sadly short supply lately.

I wish I had a marketable skill. I just… don’t.

In the meantime, it’s a lovely summer vacation at HOME. I couldn’t afford to go anywhere even if I had somewhere to go. (Does it get much more pathetic than that? I think not.)

Just please, PLEASE tell me that gas prices will be going down soon. Something has to give.