I’m trying (very hard) not to feel too bad about going to BlogHer this year.  I’ve known for a while that going this year was pretty much out of the question.  Short of a completely free trip (RIGHT), there was no way I could feasibly go.  And it’s not just the money thing.  We’re going on that big cruise/Disney World/extravaganza just weeks after BlogHer is scheduled and that’s an awful lot of traveling.  So yeah, if a fully comped deal had landed in my lap, I could make it work.  Since the last time I checked such things do not exist, I am not making it work.  I’m not going.

I made no secret that last year’s BlogHer was a little… less.  It was very, very, VERY hard to go with the family.  Even with Harry staying with my parents, having to deal with Evie made it VERY hard.  And while the day care set up was awesome (SERIOUSLY, if you are thinking of going with a child, TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THAT.  The people there were awesome and Liam had a great time), it had limitations.  Mostly in that at 5-5:30 or so, day care was over and it’s hard to go to night clubs with two year olds.  I think I was in bed by 8 that night, my heart sick with stress and frustration.  The next problem was parking.  And check out.  Sure, we could have solved that by paying for an extra day of parking and an extra night at the hotel.  But we are notorious cheapskates.  We had to be back in San Jose on Saturday to celebrate my dad’s birthday and why pay for another hotel night when we wouldn’t stay there?  And the parking was outrageously expensive and paying a whole day for just a few more hours just didn’t jive with my practical side.  So by checking out by noon, we lost a place for me to go and nurse Evie and rest and have downtime (the nursing room provided was small, filled with uncomfortable chairs and cold as heck), and we lost a place to put all our stuff.  Kile had suggested moving the van to a place down the street where he could pay to park it for a few hours and we could keep our stuff in there.  But, heart-sick again, I gave up.  The Gods had deemed the whole thing a loss.  So we left at lunch.

Even now, writing that out, I still feel so incredibly sad about how it all ended up.  No ones fault, to be sure (except maybe my own).  But still so sad.  It was just hard to manage with kids.

If I had gone this year, it would probably be by myself, sans children.  Which is awfully optimistic of myself because even though Evie is closing in on her first birthday, she shows no sign of wanting to wean and still rejects virtually every other method of liquid intake available.  So even if I took Evie with me and put her in day care, I’d need to go feed her or whatever.  Which, yeah, I could make it work.

But the point is: I’m not.  I’m not going.  It feels weird to admit that since I have gone for three years now.  I’m going to miss some fabulous ladies this year.  So you’ll have to forgive me if I avoid all discussions about BlogHer.  If I roll my eyes at mentions of roommates, parties, sessions and swag.  If I stick my fingers in my ears and go “LALALALAICAN’THEARYOULALALA”.  It’s nothing personal and it’s just me being a little bitter.  (Save me some swag, please?  I’ll be your best friend!)

Why is it that when you’ve sucked it up, vowed to make the best of things and just want to go with the flow, does life then throw yet MORE curveballs at you just to see if you’re REALLY up to the challenge (hint: I’m not)?  Are the fates truly that cruel?  (Answer: YES.)  Of course, any complaint I have here is painfully minor and I am well, well aware of that.  But they are complaints.  And if a blog isn’t for complaining once (or twice) (or more) in a while, then I don’t know what it’s for.

Item #1: Remember that whole thing where the tan van has been parked for the month because it’s not registered and Kile’s white van that, while older and rattles as you drive around in it, is legal so it has been our vehicle?  Yeah.  Well, yesterday the tread split from the tire (the tire that was causing the rattling and that we were HOPING and PRAYING would just last through the month and we would replace it next month) and now it is UNDRIVEABLE.  Oh ho ho… I couldn’t make this stuff up.  And of COURSE Kile doesn’t have a spare to put on because it too is busted or somesuch nonsense and I’m not entirely sure WHY or WHAT.  But long story short: Kile had to take the tan van today.  We are hoping that he doesn’t get pulled over for driving with expired tags but that would be just like The Fates to arrange that so I’m not holding my breath.

I think the long term plan here is for Kile to see if the spare from the tan van will fit the white van or some such.  I’m not entirely sure and I don’t know if I really want to know anyhow (ignorance can be bliss).  But, OMG, doesn’t it just FIGURE?

Item #2: Liam’s high chair, apparently, has been RECALLED.  What makes me laugh is that the very reason it is being recalled is something that has happened to us (in fact, it happened several months ago) but because we are lame, negligent cheapskates, we have continued to use the chair anyhow.  According to the site, we shouldn’t be doing that.  OOPS.  But I’d like to know how else we are supposed to feed the Tiny Wonder since we have no booster or anything else and this child needs to be RESTRAINED in order to eat.  The more straps, the better.  If he can’t escape, he has no choice but to eat.  (It’s called the Imprisonment Method, look it up.)  So we gotta contact Evenflo and get a repair kit or somesuch goofiness.  Blah blah blah.

In the meantime, I wasn’t the least bit surprised when Kile told me about this this morning.  Of COURSE our highchair is being recalled.  What the heck took them so long??  And also: JUST OUR LUCK.  (Hint to big PR companies: Now would be a great time to send me a high chair to test out for review purposes.  Just sayin’.)

Do I need more items than that?  I really don’t think I do, but I know if I thought about it hard enough, I think I could.  Or, you know, I could just wait ten minutes for the roof to cave in, the power to go out, the DSL to give up or something.  And again?  WOULD NOT BE SURPRISED.

With the economy circling the drain these days, everyone has had to find ways to cut back, to scrimp pennies and reduce the amount of credit they use.  Which makes Kile and I think, “Wow, we’re finally ahead of the crowd on something!”

We haven’t used credit for much of, well, anything besides our home and vehicles since before we were married.  I was one of those kids who got sucked in by the credit card companies my first semester away at college and then I racked up a huge (at least, it was huge for me back then) debt that I couldn’t pay.  My parents found out, paid it off and then I had to pay them off (which SUCKED because not only did I not have the opportunity to rebuild my credit, but I got about $35 a week off a $300+ paycheck during my summer vacations).  So my credit sorta sucked to begin with.  As did Kile’s.  So we learned then not to rely on credit.

Basically?  If we don’t have the money in our checking account, we don’t buy it.

It’s been hard, especially when we see so many other people over the years who have thrown caution to the wind and purchased whatever and whenever they pleased.  There’ve been a lot of things we’ve wanted that we’ve had to put off or plain not get altogether.  And when we see the Smith’s down the street be able to get big screen TV’s, new vehicles, fancy electronics, etc and so forth, it has caused us to feel a little jealous.  Not enough that we wanted to put those purchase on credit though.  That’s the key.

It sorta sucks when it comes to things like needing to replace a mattress (ahem) or fix a fence or something, but we have always made it work.  We do a LOT of window shopping.  We’ll go out on the weekend and go to a lot of different stores, but it’s mostly just to browse and get out of the house.  We rarely buy things outside of groceries or gas.  We don’t even eat out very much anymore (however, hot dogs at Sam’s Club are fabulous for a cheap, quick lunch at $1.50 for a hot dog and ginormous soda!).

The upshot here is that now when things are looking so grim, we don’t really have to change our budget because we’ve been trying to save money all along.  PLUS, we just paid off our van so we don’t have a car payment anymore.  That’s a good chunk of change each month.

I don’t want to make it sound like I think we’ve got all the right answers.  Believe me, we don’t.  But on the other hand it’s comforting to no longer be the lone pennypinchers in a sea of spendthrifts.