I wonder what’s going to happen on “Lost” tonight.  It’s been so danged good lately that I don’t dare miss a minute of it.

I wonder if Sarah Chalke is actually the “mother” on “How I Met Your Mother”.  I’m thinking: no.

I wonder if the wind is EVER going to just STOP, please for the love of GOD.

I wonder if I should go chase down our garbage can that blew down the street this morning. GAH.

I wonder what I should have for lunch.  Is it weird that I’m actually kinda excited to have a tv dinner to eat?  Probably, huh?

I wonder if I should drink some Rockstar.  I’m guessing that if I don’t want to fall asleep in my tv dinner, I probably should.

I wonder if Evie will keep up her sleeping at night the way she has been.  It has been MARVELOUS.  I recently stopped nursing her in the night (the cut-off being when I go to bed around 11 or 12 and I can start again in the morning anytime after 6am as I’m generally up around then anyhow).  For a while, myself or Kile (usually me) was getting up when she’d wake and rocking her before putting her back in her crib and that worked great.  The last couple of nights, we haven’t even had to do that.  Though I think she’s woken a little and cried for about a minute before falling back to sleep.  Let’s hope this is a trend in the RIGHT direction towards a full night of sleep for everyone!

I wonder why I’m still so tired if I didn’t have to get up in the night last night.  Hmm.  Could be the whole “going to bed around 11 or 12, waking up at 6 or 6:30″ thing, huh?

I wonder why Liam loves PBS’s “Word World” so much.  Is it the letters and words?  He loves himself some letters and numbers these days.

I wonder why I write such goofy blog posts when I know that no one likes this sort of post anyhow.  Could be I’ve got a lot on my mind and I need an easy way to unload it.  Could be I don’t have the coherent thought capacity at the moment to write a decent post.

I wonder if drinking some Rockstar could help with that.

There’s only one way to find out!

I often worry that my particular parenting choices will come off as “preachy” to other moms.  That they will feel intimidated by what I chose to do with my children and will think that I will in turn think less of them for making a different choice.  Nothing could be further from the truth.  In fact, I think my choices are just that, choices.  And how could I look down on anyone simply for making other choices?  Choices that are just as good as the ones I make for my own family.

Take breastfeeding for instance.  I do take pride in knowing that Evie has been, for the most part, exclusively breastfed since the day she was born.  Solids are merely a supplement at this stage in the game.  Often, they’re an afterthought (she said, with shame).  I wasn’t able to nurse Liam, but I did pump all his milk for the first ten months of his life and he was a lot worse about eating solids than Evie is.  Harry too was nursed exclusively for the first year of his life.  Do I think this makes me better than someone else who has used formula?  No, it just means I made another choice.  I’m happy with that choice and proud of it, sure, but it doesn’t make me better.

Co-sleeping is the same.  We have co-slept with all our children, to varying degrees.  This was simply a choice we made when our children were newborns.  We (read: I) wanted more sleep so co-sleeping was the simplest, most-effective way to achieve that.  It turns out, I really enjoyed having my kids in bed.  I felt I bonded closer to them and was able to really enjoy the closeness and the small moments of smiling into each others eyes first thing in the morning.  But am I better than a mom who chose to put her baby in a crib or bassinet from day one?  Nope.  Not in the slightest.

And cloth diapering is NO different.  I’ve gotten the vibe from people I know in real life that they might be a little intimidated by my decision to use cloth diapers on Evie.  That they think I might think less of them if they don’t want to cloth diaper as well.  Definitely not.  I know it’s not for everyone.  Shoot, why do you think I never tried it with Harry or when Liam was little?  Because I didn’t feel it was a choice that I wanted to make, could make or maybe even SHOULD make for my family.  Things change, attitudes change, budgets change and opportunities open up.  I don’t think I made the decision to switch to cloth lightly, and if I gush about it on here or to someone I know in person, it’s only because I’m excited about it.

I’m thrilled that I have been able to embrace cloth diapering as easily and thoroughly as I have.  I am invigorated by the cloth diapering community and all the completely adorable options out there for diapering my kids butts.  So if I gush, it’s simply because I’m just seriously PSYCHED about the whole business.  And not because I entertain for a moment the notion that I could/should/would convert anyone to using cloth diapers.  Now, if someone became more likely to give it a shot after talking to me?  Su-WEET!  That would be awesome.  But I’m not going to tsk-tsk and look down my nose at anyone who prefers to stick to their disposables.  Because, at the end of the day, it’s a choice.  I’m not a better mom for cloth diapering any more than I’m better for co-sleeping or breastfeeding.

And you know what?  It goes both ways.   I don’t want anyone to look down their noses at me for the choices I have made either.   I don’t want someone to roll their eyes when I mention that we co-sleep, give me a dirty look for nursing my daughter in the van while we’re out during the day or wrinkle their nose in disgust when they learn my children wear cloth diapers.  You don’t have to explain your choices to me, and I shouldn’t have to explain mine to you.

Because, when it comes down to it, we’re all equal.  We all love our children.  And that’s what matters.

Even though, you know, the song is “Easy like Sunday morning” and it’s very nearly not morning any longer.  Ahem.

Kile let me sleep in a little bit this morning, until after 8 am, which felt like HEAVEN.  He got up with Evie and then when Liam woke up, got him up too.  I heard some ruckus downstairs at one point so I got up and came downstairs to find Harry staring at the TV, transfixed, and Liam screaming (which was making Evie scream too).  What the heck?  Turns out, Kile had been watching “Pan’s Labyrinth” on OnDemand (one of our favorites).  And it turns out that the scene where the child-eating monster is chasing the little girl was sort of scaring our little two year old.  YOU THINK??  Kile said that he’d been okay until the monster ate the fairies.  At that point, my eyes rolled so hard into the back of my head that I gave myself a headache.  And it was at that point that we put the “Elf” DVD in and everything was better again.  I swear, if that kid gets nightmares it’s ALL HIS FAULT.

Anyhow, I slept in because I’ve been so exhausted the last couple of days.  And yesterday’s shopping trip just plum wore me out.  And Evie slept in our room for most of the night last night, she came in (doesn’t that make it sound like she just got up herself and walked into our room?) just as we were going to bed.  Boo!  To her credit, though, she is pushing through her top two teeth.  So I guess I’ll give her a little slack.

And, on the plus side, Beetoe didn’t sleep with us last night.  The night before, we had her in with us.  And since she had helped “clean” Harry’s plate after Thanksgiving, she was experiencing a little indigestion.  As a result, she was rather restless all night, wandering around the bed.  At one point, she got up next to my face and I was turned away from her.  But you know how it is, when you know someone is staring at you, you just can’t shake it.  So finally I turned to her and said, “What??”  Her timing was impeccable.  At that moment, she burped, right in my face, and I got a whiff of Thanksgiving Dinner Part 2.

Let me tell you, not the best way to be woken up in the middle of the night.

Today, we’re taking it a little easier.  Harry keeps pestering us about going out and going shopping.  I’m thinking he wants to spend some of the birthday money he still has left.  He’s not interested in taking my word for it when I tell him that NO, we’re not going out today.  We’re going out tomorrow, and that is good enough.  Nope, today we’re sticking to home and making Christmas candy to go in our gift bags.  So far, Kile has gotten a jump start on the peanut brittle and I’m going to help with the candy canes and pretzels after he gets out of the shower.  I’m thinking the hardest part will be not eating any of it.  Just wait until we get started on the fudge.  (OMG, FUDGE.)

So what are you all doing this weekend?   Still recovering from the holiday?  Decorating for Christmas?  Finishing up shopping?  Anyone else’s husband scar their children with “Pan’s Labyrinth”?

Last night, for the second time in three days, Evie slept in her crib until 5am.  

!!

She cried when I first put her down and didn’t stop after about 5 or 10 minutes so I retrieved her, nursed her some more, and tried again.  Kile and Harry both were out in the loft at the time too, watching television and playing Halo and the lights were on and all that good stuff.  So I had to walk by them to get her to her room and she was thinking, “Hey, I wanna join the party!”  Also, she had drowsed off while nursing the first time and I think she actually falls asleep in her crib better if she doesn’t also fall asleep while nursing.  

The next attempt, she cried again but this time for only about five minutes.  And then she was quiet.  ZOMG.

I didn’t make the same mistake I made on Sunday night where I went to get her if she was only fussing.  But, looking back, I’m not sure ever really fussed.  In fact, Kile went to peek in on her when we went to bed at nearly midnight (what is WRONG with us?  what do we have against going to bed at a reasonable hour??) and she was fast asleep.  

I actually thought it was earlier than it was when she woke up.  I listened to her fuss for a few minutes until it was clear that she was not going to fall back asleep.  In fact, as soon as I brought her back into bed with us and got to nursing her, she fell right back asleep.  I imagine I could have put her back in her crib then, but I like being able to cuddle with her, at least a little bit.  Though I think I’ll have to toughen up in a couple months.  

But that’s not the end of it!  She went back to sleep after I nursed her at 5am and I woke up, as I always do, when Kile got out of the shower a couple hours later.  I nursed her again at that point and… she went back to sleep.  She NEVER does that.  Here it was 7:30 and she was sleeping MORE?  In fact, she didn’t wake up until after Harry left for school, at nearly 9am.  Wow.  

I hestitate to call the battle “won” at this point.  And, according to Kile, his parents are coming this weekend so she’ll be back in with us for a couple more days (I always worry about consistency, but I imagine it’ll all be okay).  But these are definitely some wonderful steps in the right direction.  Sleeping, on her own, in her own crib, without nursing, for NINE hours… well, that’s something I can get behind.  Way to go, Evie! 

I know this means I’m Officially Lame, but I’m watching Disney’s “Meet the Robinsons” with Liam and I’m finding myself laughing.  A lot.  This is a cute, funny movie!  Very clever.  Hey, if it’s not brain-melting drivel like “Oswald” (my old nemesis), and it makes my kids happy, then I pretty much want to marry it and have it’s babies. 

***

Evie slept in her crib on Saturday night.  As in, I laid her down in there around 8pm and she didn’t wake up until almost 5am.  (!!)  And even then, it wasn’t as if she woke up squalling and freaking out.  It was more of a “fuss”.  But I missed her so badly by that point and had slept so fitfully without her right there next to me, that I hopped up and ran to grab her. Heh. 

We tried it again last night, but shortly after we went to bed I heard her fuss.  I had JUST drowsed off so I was feeling loopy and I went to get her.  I didn’t realize until I got into her room and touched her belly that she had fallen back asleep.  (*cringe*)  Of course, touching her woke her up and she proceeded to freak the frack out so back to bed with us she went.  Ah well.  Live and learn. 

***

We really enjoy “True Blood” and “Entourage” on HBO on Sunday nights.  We missed BOTH last week when we were in Elko, which is a big ol’ bummer.  But last night was awesome.  And I’m so sad that both are ending their season after, like, NEXT WEEK.  What the heck am I going to watch THEN?  BOO!  What the freak is it with these tiny, itty, bitty television seasons??  And how many months until “Lost” comes back, anyhow?? 

***

Mondays kinda suck, don’t they?  I need more caffeine.