Tag Archives: drama

Blight

I don’t feel melancholy so much as I feel just… tired.  Emotionally, at least (though I’m sure I feel tired physically as well, but caffeine does such a swell job of masking those pesky exhaustion symptoms).  Which isn’t to say that this year still isn’t just the bee’s knees.  On the whole, this year has been a vast improvement over last year so far.  Which is impressive for being only a few short weeks into it.  I have no general complains about this year so far.  Things have been cranking along in a most satisfactory manner.  Truly, I am blessed.

BUT.  And here’s the reason for this post: What was once a bright spot in an otherwise dreary year last year, is now a blight against an otherwise peachy year.  And that?  Is what has me feeling kinda… meh. Well, sad too, I’m sure.  Sad.  Tired.  Disappointed.  Annoyed.

And all of these feelings are painfully close to becoming “over it.”  And when I’m over it, I will be done as well.  Because, as much as I feel there are things worth trying to save here… trying and trying and caring and hoping and ignoring and trying for this long with so little positive result is just… well it’s foolhardy.   Don’t “they” say the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results?  I don’t want to be insane.  At least, any moreso than I already am.

It’s hard not to look back on last year, at this once bright spot and really want to reclaim that.  To live in the memory of it.   To bask in the unhealthy glow of it all.  But the reality is that the bright spot is now a source of woe.  And despite being naively hopeful, perhaps it’s time to face the music and realize that it ain’t gonna happen.  And maybe, perhaps, throw in that proverbial towel and call it a day.

After all, nothing lasts forever.  And while I would rather see things fizzle in a more amicable fashion rather than go out in a blaze of drama, it so rarely happens that I get my wish and sometimes endings ARE a blaze of drama.  As much as I’d like to avoid it, being ignorantly stubborn to it doesn’t change the outcome any.  And only serves to make my left eye twitch.

I’m sure the majority of you are reading this going, “What the HECK?” But I assure you.  To virtually everyone who will read this, the issue is a non-issue.  It’s nothing terribly LARGE in the grand scheme of things.  So don’t be emailing or calling me to say, “What is going on!??  I hope it’s not (fill in the blank)!”  Cuz it’s not.  It’s probably only important to just me.

And that, my friends, is the problem.

Pills! I have pills!

Pills! It’s a MIRACLE (and just in time for Christmas, too!).

For those of you who have been following the whole sordid saga, you’ll be happy to know that I HAVE MY PILLS NOW.  And, honestly, I never thought I’d see the day.  I mean, it wasn’t looking too good there for a while.

I talked to the doctor’s office today and they decided that I didn’t need to come in after all, only to have the doctor write me up a prescription that OBVIOUSLY I needed, since my lab results triggered the APOCALYPSE alarm they keep under the desk.

Seriously, I don’t know what my results were (I haven’t received a copy yet) but the gal said they were “high”.  Well shoot, they were “high” last time too!  But last time they wanted me to take 150mcg (or as they initially put it, just take the 100mcg that I no longer had and cut one in two and take one whole pill and one half).  This time?  200mcg!

Woo hoo!

Which, you know, is the exact same dosage I was taking back up until the day Evie was born.  So it’s only taken NINE MONTHS for me to get back on the right dosage!  Who said the medical system in this country sucks?  It works just fine!

So anyhow, she tells me my result was “high” and that the doctor wanted me to take this new medication called “Levothyroxin”.  You know, otherwise known as the medication I’ve been taking for the last X number of years.  Riiiight.  Not so much with the whole being “NEW” thing but whatever.  And she said that she could fax the prescription over to the pharmacy for me.  Would I like her to do that?

OMG, YES.

Kile stopped on the way home at the store (milk!  bread!) and got the prescription so starting tomorrow?  I’M ALL GOOD.  I’ve got 5 refills on this and I get retested (fingers crossed) again at the end of January.  For the time being?  I’m on the road to quasi-health!  I still think I need to start seeing an edocrinologist, but at least this is a step in the right direction.

Party on!

Could this be *gasp* progress?

Okay, for those of you who are following my Thyroid Drama with baited breath (oh hush, you know you are), I have an update.  Of sorts.  I swear, this is like something out of a bad television drama or something.  Kile called and left a stern voice mail today.  Which brings the total of Stern Voice Mails left to something like 40 bazillion.  And they never call back but today they did.  Which… ??  Yeah, I have no idea.

So this is what she told me.  They faxed the refill request approval or something of that sort (gal I spoke to has a thick accent so it was a little hard to understand) to the pharmacy on October 27.  And she also said that they only got one faxed refill request from the pharmacy.  Not the plethora that the pharmacy has told us that they sent.  Which… ??  Meh.

The long and short of it is this:  The doctor wants to see me before he will give me a new prescription.  And I have to get my blood drawn (again) before he’ll see me.  Because I’m SURE my TSH has improved from 116 in the last two months (I think it’s been almost that) without having had ANY medication.  But hey, maybe it’ll have gotten worse.  Anyone wanna take bets on what it is now?  Think I can break 200?  Come on, it’ll be FUN to guess!

So she has lab orders that I need to pick up at the office.  Because things with our vehicles is always in a state of flux here and because I am loathe to leave the house with the two little ones, I asked if Kile could pick them up for me on his way home from work.  She said no problem, as long as they have my permission.  Which they do.  Then I go get my blood drawn (I so love that part, let me tell you).  Then I wait for results.  And then, depending on the results (I’m gonna guess the results will = BAD JUJU, but no need to take my word for it), they’ll call me and make an appointment.  And I’ll go in for said appointment and talk to the doctor.  And then, GOD WILLING, I will get a prescription.  And actual, physical prescription that I can take to an actual, physical pharmacy and then (dare I hope?) get actual, physical PILLS.

ZOMG.

Okay, I can understand wanting to see me before doing up a new prescription because he wanted to see me in December for another blood draw ANYHOW (of course, this was going to assume I’d been taking pills all this time.  WHICH I HAVE NOT.)  But why not throw me a bone in the meantime and just refill the 100mcg pills?  WHY WHY WHY??   OMG, my head hurts.  Kill me now.

So there you have it.  I am going to conceivably get some medication sometime this month.  First, I have about a gazillion hoops to jump through which makes me SO HAPPY and will be SO EASY what with the whole “vehicle flux” and small children thing we’ve got going but WHATEVER.  We’ll figure it out.   At this point, I just want some freakin’ pills before I lapse into a coma or something (I totally fell asleep on the couch this morning for 20 minutes without really intending to take a nap) (sorry, kids).

Cross your fingers, ya’ll.

Here’s the thing

I literally cannot believe the blogosphere (in particular, the momosphere) is still buzzing about this whole Sweetney/Mrs. Fussypants thing.  I mean… STILL?  Has it been a slow news week or something?  Are we all bunged up because BlogHer is looming and we need to have some sort of drama in place BEFORE the conference this year (we’re total overachievers if that’s the case)?  Yes, I may or may not have alluded to this in my “compassion” post, but I want to make it clear that that post was inspired by the story I saw on The Today Show on Tuesday morning.  The whole hubub over this was merely a reminder of how the internet plays into this whole “I don’t have to be nice if I don’t want to” mentality that we are seeing more of in our day to day lives.

I’ve seen this blown out of proportion from all angles and it just boggles my mind.  I’ve seen the “shame on Sweetney!” posts, the “yay for Mrs. Fussypants” posts, the “give us our free speech!” posts and the “what’s the real issue here that no one is paying attention to” posts.  Whew.  There’s a lot out there right now about this.  And… you know, whatever.  At this particular point in time, after a night of getting jabbed in the ribs by little baby toenails (I totally need to clip those TODAY), I’m just tired of it.  All of it.

Here’s the thing:  I read and enjoyed Sweetney before this all went down.  I’ll continue to read and enjoy her.  This doesn’t really impact how I feel about her.  I didn’t learn anything about her that I didn’t already know.  Nice or not nice, this is just how she is.  I hesitate to say, “she can’t help it,” because of course she can.  Just doesn’t want to or see the need to.  And that’s fine.  Whatever.  Whatever works for her.

I also read and enjoy Mrs. Fussypants.  She’s a nice lady who tends to like to do about a million things at once.  Seriously, sometimes i need to look away or I’ll get a migrane from all that this woman tries to juggle at one time.  I can barely remember to trim my daughter’s toenails.  She has FIVE boys.  Do I agree with Sweetney’s statements about her?  Eh… doesn’t really matter what I think, does it?  I doubt anyone really cares what I think anyhow.  I don’t think Sweetney was looking for people to agree with her in the first place.  Or maybe she was.  See?  I obviously have no idea.

I’m having a hard time getting my thoughts out here.  I don’t think I’m stating myself very well.  (Wouldn’t be the first time.)  I guess my big point here is: can’t we all just get along?  Let’s bury this hatchet and move on and let the bygones be bygones.  BlogHer is in a few short weeks and I would love for this to be all but a distant memory by then.  I don’t want to get there and have the room divided into two factions: those who are on Sweetney’s side and those who are on Mrs. Fussypants’ side.  Feh.  How about MY side?  Is anyone on my side??

*crickets*

Fine.  Whatever.  Let’s just let this go and let the immediate parties concerned work out their issues, mmkay?  No hard feelings.  Sound good?