Long-time readers of this site are well aware that I have a “thing” with this whole month. March, it has not been a friend of mine. Growing up, I was never very fond of of it. It was no December, let’s be honest. I lumped November in with March since I found nothing redeeming about it either. Both seemed to have questionable weather and a gnarly habit of fostering evil events. I never cared much for Thanksgiving and forgot to wear green a few too many times and ended up pinched within an inch of my life on St. Patrick’s Day. Do I need to mention the Ides of March? I mean, historically we’re talking about a bad month all around, right? Now, November got a reprieve when Harry was born on November 10th. Suddenly, it was off the “shit list”, so to speak. I made peace with Thanksgiving too, when I discovered the delight that is a fine turkey sandwich. But March was still on the platter.
I knew a lot of people who died in March, for one thing. Grandparents. My good friend’s mother. And now that I was living in Reno, the poor weather started taking on a whole new meaning. March became the “tease” month. Springish weather one day, snowstorm the next. Wind and rain and sleet and ice and snow and BLEH. Who needs it? And then? 2004 rolled around. And I was about to find out just how awful a month March could be. I was pregnant at last after long years of infertility. I had a c-section scheduled for March 29th. Then? It all went horribly wrong. It was unreal, the awfulness I felt. I still have a hard time entirely processing just how it all happened and how we made it through. My baby was buried on March 31st. Talk about unreal.
From then on, it was war. I had no trust left for March (we won’t even go into how I felt and still feel about 2004). Even when March has been civil, I have held it at arms length. I’ve considered this a month that I need to endure. Just hold my breath and make it through the 31st in once piece. If nothing bad happened, count my blessings and move on. And I will admit, that perhaps (just maybe), I didn’t give March a fair shake.
I know, I bet you thought you’d never hear me utter the words.
See, I have good reason to believe that this March will redeem itself beyond my wildest dreams. It will, like November, have new status as a “reformed month” and will (for the first time ever) actually become precious in my eyes. Evie is due to be born on March 20th. Noon. Should we actually be able to pull this off (and believe me, I will always doubt first and ask questions later), I will actually have something to celebrate in March.
What a concept, right?
So I just wanted to say: Welcome, March. Come on in. Make yourself at home. I’m making an effort here, and I hope you do as well. Let’s put the past behind us, shall we?
