I’m dealing pretty well, all things considered, with the extra responsibilities I have to shoulder in the wake of Kile’s hernia surgery. It’s a huge adjustment around here. I guess I never really realized how much I depend on Kile to do a lot of the heavy lifting around here. And now that it’s all on me? Well… I can only hope that all this lifting will result in some finely toned upper arms for me. I think that would be only fair, wouldn’t it?
Liam is a huge part of this. Normally, I wouldn’t have a problem with this. Still, I am responsible for getting him up in the morning, changing just about all of his diapers (since that involves lifting him onto the changing table), putting him in his high chair for meals, carrying him up to bed and putting him into the crib for naps and bedtime, putting him in his carseat, putting him in the pack n’ play and taking him out again, lifting him into shopping carts, etc and so forth. It’s not a lot more than I normally do anyhow, but I think it’s the knowledge that I’m the only one who can do this is what is freaking me out a little bit. I’d never stopped to think about how nice it is to have a “back up”. I will say this, I breathe a sigh of relief at bedtime because I know there is a large chunk of time in front of me that I will not have to worry about being “on duty” for picking up Liam.
Dealing with the garbage has long been my responsibility anyhow, so that’s no big deal. But yesterday I filled a garbage bag with old clothes from my closet, ready to donate when the truck visits our street next week and had to drag it downstairs all by myself. That thing was HEAVY. Normally, I would have had Kile carry it down for me. (And we wonder why he had a hernia?)
Normally, I wouldn’t have a problem with this. And I don’t now. But it’s just… ALL AT ONCE. And it feels awful to say it like that. Last night, we did leftovers for dinner, so that was different. But Monday night, Kile was exhausted from his first day back at work and asked if I could fix dinner. Sure I could and I did. I made plenty of spaghetti (hence the leftovers) and it all turned out fine. But on top of that I was dealing with Liam and his dinner and getting him in the high chair, dealing with Evie (who was having a particularly clingy day on Monday) and trying to deal with about five other things at the same time.
There are 3 1/2 more weeks of this. Normally, I wouldn’t have a problem with that. But…
I want to schedule a hair appointment for this weekend. How is this going to work out? I have to try to make sure it will be during Liam’s naptime, so I won’t have to worry about Kile needing to lift him anywhere. Plus, I’ll need to make sure Harry is on hand just in case he does. As for Evie, I’ll need to make sure that she’s well fed and perhaps snoozing away herself. Even then, I know I’ll feel guilty pretty much the whole time and will be rushing home after, just in case I’m needed.
I guess this is what it’s like, huh? This is a little bit of what it’s like to be responsible for an entire family. Perhaps, just maybe, this is what Kile feels like day in and day out. Like he has to shoulder the burden for all of us.
If there’s anything I can get out of this little “experience”, I’m thinking that it’s a new appreciation for everything Kile does. I don’t think I’ll be taking him for granted anytime soon. Certainly, I don’t have a problem with that.
